Sometimes It Lasts In Love
by xxxkia
Summary: Back in high school Logan always got what he wanted. And he wanted James. But when they meet again 8 years later Logan is no longer able to seduce James like he did in high school. Roles changed and now James is the one who gets what he wants...  Jagan
1. CHAPTER 01

**Hey guys! Welcome to my first story xD**

**For your information:**

**The rating for this chapter is T.**

**Disclaimer: Like everyone here, I don't own the tv series... but sadly I don't own the guys either... life is SO unfair! I also don't own Adele's song "Someone like you".**

**I want to thank my beta AllForLoganBTR! She helps me a lot and that's why I dedicate this story to her. Thanks for taking care of my bad English...**

****I hope you enjoy reading it!****

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 01: I Hate to Turn Up Out of the Blue, Uninvited<strong>

"Dude, really?"

Logan was annoyed by Carlos, who tugged the smart boy's sleeve.

"Aw, come on, Loges! You promised you'd go with me!" The short Latino pouted and gave his friend his best puppy dog eyes.

"I wouldn't if you'd told me the truth about this!"

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you the truth. Duh!"

Logan rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine, I'll go with you."

Carlos grinned triumphantly, which made Logan frown once again. He had better things to do then meet up with an arrogant, selfish, stupid pop star.

"I can't believe that we're gonna to meet James Diamond! JAMES DIAMOND!" Logan was sure that Carlos would faint if he continued his exhausting and embarrassing behavior.

"Why do you want meet him so badly? His fans are mostly 14-year old girls, not 24-year old men!" He and Carlos were walking across the huge parking lot. The black tour bus—which had the words, "James Diamond *Rule the World Tour* in shiny silver letters all over the sides—was their aim. His hand closed tightly around the plastic card, the VIP pass, which Carlos won in a magazine contest. But the plastic was so sharp, that it left red streaks on his right palm. Carlos snorted and rolled his eyes, like the answer was too obvious.

"Hey, he has older fans, too!"

"Yeah, like, old horny women in their mid-fifties who think they're 20 year old groupies at a Rolling Stones concert! And honestly, he looks like his boy band left him alone because of his arrogance! Or he just left them because he wanted all the fame by himself."

"He was never in a boy band!"

"Really? I could've sworn he was in one!"

"And he would never do that! Leave his friends? Please!"

"Why, Carlos? Are you in a boy band with him? Oh, wait—no, you're not!"

"If I had known that you were gonna be such a jerk, I would've asked Dak to join me!" Carlos crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted. Logan rolled his eyes again and patted his shorter friend on the shoulder. "I'll shut my mouth, okay?"

"Okay!" Carlos chirped and was happy again. At such moments, Logan really, really questioned the sanity of his best friend.

A woman in a black business suit stood in front of the bus and waited impatiently as the two contest winners arrived at the bus. "Hello, my name is Kelly Wainwright. I'm Mr. Diamond's manager and I'm here to congratulate you on your prize!"

"Hi! My name is Carlos Garcia and that's my friend Logan Mitchell!" Carlos was suddenly hyper and excited while Logan stood just next to him, hands in the pockets of his tight, black jeans, bored chocolate eyes hidden behind black wayfarers, dark locks tousled and messy, like he came straight from bed. He just stood there, enjoying the warm sun rays on his bare arms. Even though it was only around 8 am, it was already warm, and maybe his light gray graphic shirt hadn't been such a bad choice to wear.

Carlos, next to him, was jumping up and down and Logan was so close to making him shut up.

"Well, alright, you two can now meet James Diamond!" Kelly said, and now Carlos really freaked out. The bus door opened and Carlos stormed into the bus, leaving Logan and Kelly outside. Logan heard a high scream and shook his head.

This was so embarrassing!

He took of his shades when he entered the air-conditioned bus. It was kind of dark in there, because all the windows were tinted fairly dark and didn't allow the sunlight to shine through. Logan frowned—How could someone live in here for months without any sunlight? It depressed him, and he had only been inside a few seconds, the bright LED lights making it even worse.

Logan found Carlos and this spectacular James character at the end of the bus on a black leather couch, Carlos already blabbing about all sort of things. The brown haired pop star lifted his head to smile at the second contest winner. But his smile faded the moment his hazel eyes met chocolate brown.

"No way! Logan Mitchell?" James Diamond ignored Carlos completely and left the puzzled Latino on the couch, as he stood up to walk to Logan. The black-haired young man froze in place, not able to move.

"D-do I know you?" Logan's voice cracked as he laid his eyes on the tall brunette. Something about him was familiar. But he had no idea were he could have met him.

James chuckled quietly and stepped forward, standing now directly in front of Logan, who had to look up. The taller one crooked his head and stared down into worried and confused chocolate eyes. "We went to high school together!"

And with that the handsome brunette bent down and captured Logan's lips with his.

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><p><em>"Oh...Mitchell is coming! Hey nerd, how was geometry?" Kendall Knight, captain of the high school hockey team, leaned against his locker, grinning as he waited for Logan to open his own locker, which was the one next to Kendall's.<em>

_"You would know if you were there, Knight!" Logan hissed to the boy and slammed his locker shut._

_"Well, that's why you were there, right? I'll just copy your papers."_

_"You won't understand them, but go ahead! Keep skipping class and I can tell you that you will fail by 99.99 percent!"_

_"Hey, I was there...once!"_

_"The introduction week doesn't count!" Logan grinned at the blond and they walked to the cafeteria. Kendall laughed and punched his best friend lightly in the arm._

_"Why are you so pissed?" Kendall asked curiously, because Logan furrowed his brow and was deadly quiet. The smart boy sighed._

_"McFarrow wants me to tutor some guy and come on...I have better things to do!" Logan grabbed one of the plastic trays angrily and took a plate with a slice of pizza. Kendall followed his example._

_"Well, that sucks. And we have hockey practice the whole week. The most important game of the season is on Saturday!"_

_"I know! She wanted me to do it the whole week, but I convinced her to let me do it once a week. She was okay with that and I barely have enough time for hockey and my homework!"_

_Kendall rolled his eyes and they walked over to the table were their teammates already sat. "Honestly, Loges, why do you so obsessed with learning and stuff? It's boring!"_

_"It's not boring, okay!"_

_"Yes it is!" Kendall sat down next to Jett, who greeted the two teens, amused. _

_"Hey, Mitchell, is it true, that you are tutoring 'The Face'?" The whole table bursted into laughter and Logan frowned even more. _

_"Shut the fuck up!" The smart boy yelled, obviously annoyed, and gave his friends deadly glares, but they made fun of him the whole lunch period. They made fun of him in the __friendly ways, but he knew that they wanted to tease him. He also knew that he would tease them if they were in his situation._

_But they would never be in his situation. He was the smart one. He was an A-plus student. He had the best grades in the entire school. The others would never be asked to tutor someone because they needed to be tutored themselves!_

_Logan always organized everything so that he had enough time to to learn and enough time to play hockey. Kendall was the only one he helped with his homework. He and the blond were friends since kindergarten and they did everything together. Ever since they were 5 years old, they went down to the local hockey rink and learned how to skate, both boys being naturals, so it was no big surprise that they joined the high school hockey team. And everyone knew, the hockey team ruled the school. Logan never questioned that he was one of the jocks. Sure, he was smart and he was interested in science and mathematics, but no one ever bullied him. Yes, they called him a nerd and stuff, but in a teasing way. Everyone has respect for Logan and his friends and no one would ever dare to make him upset. Like really upset. And the girls like him, because they feel smart around him. He's not like Jett, who could start a date with its end—the making out._

_After lunch, he and Kendall headed to their next class, busy talking about new hockey strategies. They turned around the corner, when someone bumped into Logan, making him drop his heavy books._

_"Watch were you walk, idiot!" The black-haired boy hissed and stared down to a shorter boy with brown hair. The boy look up and watched Logan through his black-rimmed glasses. His hazel eyes were full of fear. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" he apologized with a thin voice and bent down to pick up Logan's books._

_Kendall stared at the boy and after the boy gave Logan his books back, the blond shoved the brunette into the lockers while he continue with his way to his next class. Logan stood there and waited until he had the boy's attention again. The brunette held his left shoulder and winced._

_"You're James Diamond, right?" Logan said coldly and waited until the boy nodded, his eyes still wide in fear. _

_"I'm your new tutor. Tomorrow, four pm, at the library, and don't be late. I have better things to do than waste my time because you're late and I have to wait for you," Logan growled, "Got it?" The scared boy nodded again and Logan walked by him, grinning, making the boy jump, because he didn't want to be shoved into the lockers again._

_But the brunette didn't have much luck, because Logan could hear Jett's voice a minute later, insulting the boy, calling him "The Face" because he was so hideous._

_Logan arrived at the library around 5. He knew that he was a hour late, but he couldn't just leave Camille like that, right? He'd rather go back and make out with her again than be in the library with that stupid kid. But he gets extra credit for this whole tutoring shit and that's all what matters to Logan._

_When he entered the library, that cute girl at the front desk gave him a seductive smile, which he returned. With a last glance in her direction, Logan searched the library for the boy. It didn't take him long to find him, so Logan strolled over._

_The short brunette had his head buried in a book and when Logan took a seat opposite __him, he looked up quickly and gave the hockey player a confused look._

_"What?" Logan spat, annoyed, grabbing the book that the brunette was reading._

_"It's just...well...I didn't expect you to show up." James had his head down, staring at the desk where his book had been before Logan took it away._

_"Why wouldn't I show up? Just because I'm a little late?" Logan watched the boy closely and he started to get angry. Who was that little prick to think he knows him?_

_"No, because you don't want to do this. It's okay, I can tell the teacher you showed up and helped me." He still didn't look at Logan, his voice calm and quiet._

_"Yeah, but your grades won't get better then." Logan rolled his eyes and scanned the pages of the book in his hands._

_"It's okay...I don't need a tutor, really!" The brunette stuttered carefully. He didn't want to piss Logan off. _

_"Are you fucking kidding me?" Logan spat the words out and made the other boy jump because of his harsh tone._

_"No?" James looked up slowly, his innocent hazel eyes met Logan's chocolate ones and the black-haired boy was suddenly paralyzed, not able to talk back. He realized that the shorter boy wasn't wearing his glasses—he had placed them on the table next to his books and notes._

_"Then why did McFarrow ask me to tutor you?" Logan swallowed, staring down at James._

_"I didn't pay enough attention to her teaching and she thought that I had problems with the actual topic. But I don't! I just didn't pay attention."The brunette answered quietly and grabbed another book to open and read._

_Logan knew he should ask what his problem was but honestly he didn't care. He didn't know the boy and he sure as hell knew that he would be the last person that the brunette would tell his problems to._

_So he just left the library without another word._

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><p>"WHAT AN ASSHOLE! WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS?" Logan screamed, Carlos chasing after him as he stomped away from the tour bus. "JUST BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING FAMOUS DOESN'T MEAN HE COULD WALK AROUND AND SCREW WITH OTHER PEOPLE! GOD, I FUCKING HATE HIM SO MUCH!"<p>

"Logan, please calm down!"

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Logan stormed across the parking lot, trying to put as much distance as possible between him and that fucking tour bus. James's fucking tour bus.

"Logan, please! People are starting to stare!" Carlos was close behind Logan, trying to calm his friend down.

"Well, let them stare then! Because I DON'T FUCKING CARE!" The black-haired man screamed and pointed to the people, who obviously worked for James and watched the two men, interested.

"What's the big deal anyway?"

"WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? CARLOS, THAT SON OF A BITCH SHOVED HIS TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT!" Logan paused and stopped in his tracks, than he turned around to stare at the Latino furiously. He tried to calm himself down, taking in long breaths before he spoke up again. "Don't tell me you wouldn't be upse—oh my god, you totally wouldn't!" Carlos blushed slightly and tried to avoid Logan's gaze. "Unbelievable!" Logan walked away with Carlos on his tail. The young man glanced back to the tour bus and sighed, frustrated. So close.

"Please, Logan. Tell me. How do you know James Diamond?"

"Don't say that name!"

"What happened? Did you guys really go to the same high school? You never told me that!"

"That's because I didn't know it!"

Carlos chuckled. "How on earth could you forget James Diamond?"

"Because," Logan twirled around and looked Carlos sternly in the eyes. "He wasn't James Diamond back then."

"What...? Who was he then?"

"We called him 'The Face'."

"Yeah, I know. His fans call him that, too. He calls himself that. And?"

"Yes, but they call him that, because he's good looking!"

"Okay, maybe that's a understatement, but again—and?"

"We didn't call him that because he was good looking!"

"Oh...OH!"

"Yeah..."

"You...you bullied him, right? You and that dude you told me about...Kendall, right?" Carlos crooked his head and gave his friend a sympathetic look.

"Yes...Kendall and I and the rest of the hockey team...we—well, we weren't really nice back then." Logan ran his right hand desperately through his dark locks.

"And again...understatement!"

"Look, I didn't even know it was him, okay? His name didn't ring a bell or anything! We made fun of him without knowing him. And I'm sure, if he only hears my name, he would know who I am. Me? I didn't care who he was back then, at least not enough to remember his name 8 years later!"

"Yeah okay...but Logan?"

"Hmm?"

"Why in the hell did he kiss you?"


	2. CHAPTER 02

**hello =)**

**Haa... that's so awesome! I want to thank everyone, who alerted, reviewed or favored this story. I never thought that so many would like it or want to read more!**

**And here is Chapter 2... I'm so sorry that it took so long! But Chapter 3 is already done, so I'll update the next one sooner!**

**The rating for this chapter is still T, but I promise you that in future chapters the rating will change!**

**And now I'm apologizing, because I have no idea how the American school system works and if Logan attends some classes, which he theoretical couldn't, I'm sorry! I really tried to understand it.**

**Alright... I own nothing... and the thought is KILLING ME... because have you seen the guys in that tv show?**

**Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, even it's a little short!**

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 02: But I Couldn't Stay Away, I Couldn't Fight It<strong>

James checked his appearance twice in the window, fixing a couple stray hairs before he entered the quaint coffee shop. He had to make sure that his hair looked perfect. Then, he nodded towards his bodyguard, telling him that he could wait outside.

A shrill bell rang when James entered the shop and automatically everyone turned around to see who came in. He could hear the whispers and he could feel the stares, but he tried to ignore it. His attention was focused on the young man behind the bar, the short Latino who accepted all of the customer's orders. James smiled his million dollar smile and walked in front of the bar, bending slightly forwards to lean against the granite until he got the man's attention. It took him a few seconds to realize that he had a new customer before he looked up from the notes he was reading. The man's brown eyes widened in shock when he recognized who his next customer was. James's smile never faltered.

"Hey Carlos!"

"Um...Hi...James?"

"We need to talk. Like, now."

"Oh...kay..." the Latino replied, "D-Did you want a coffee or tea or something? A bagel, muffin? Our chocolate chip pancakes are to die for..."

James raised a perfect eyebrow at the Latino's stuttered words, but shook his head politely. "No thanks, I'm just here to congratulate you, because you won another contest!"

"WHAT?" Carlos voice was a few octaves higher than usual and suddenly a tall brunette appeared next to him, whose icy blue eyes landed worriedly on the short Latino. "Babe, is everything okay?" The brunette asked with a concerned voice, resting a hand over Carlos's.

"Hmm...what?" Carlos turned to see him and smiled, "Oh, Dak...yeah...everything's fine!" Carlos said and smiled at the brunette, before he turned back to James and gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry, but I didn't enter another contest!"

James could feel the piercing blue eyes on him and he heard Carlos whine when Dak grabbed the Latino's hand forcefully to hold it firmly.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday. The 'Meet & Greet' didn't go that well, but by winning the magazine contest, you automatically entered another contest, which you won, too!" James tried to keep his face neutral, but mentally he rolled his eyes, because the possessive behavior from that Dak guy really bugged him.

"Really? Ahh, babe, did you hear that?" Carlos turned to Dak, who was obviously his boyfriend. Carlos was bouncing and sounded excited, which made Dak frown.

"Yeah...," he answered bitterly, but Carlos was too hyper to recognized it, which made Dak even angrier. "And since when is the megastar himself the delivery guy?" Dak raised an eyebrow and frowned, hatred flaring in his cerulean eyes. "Can't you just pay your staff, Mr. Hollywood?"

"Dak!" Carlos turned to the brunette and stared at him with his mouth hanging open, but Dak's jealous eyes were on James the whole time. James just smirked, obviously amused.

"I came by myself, because I want to ask Carlos if he could do me a favor."

"Of course!" Carlos screamed immediately, which clearly pissed Dak off more. James's smirk grew wider.

"Well, you'll spend a whole week on tour with me..." Carlos eyes brightened while Dak's darkened at James's words. "And I wanted to ask if you could bring Logan along?"

Now both men gave him a puzzled look.

"Logan and I got off on the wrong foot and I really want to change that. We were kinda close in high school…"

Carlos stared at him in wonder. James could see in his eyes that he knew something, but not everything, which James could use to his benefit.

"Honestly, I'm not sure if Logan would accept..."

"That's why I need you, Carlos! Just tell him, that you'll go on a little road trip with him...no need to tell him that I'll be there! I want to...surprise him."

Carlos still looked skeptical, so James decided to play his last card. He bend down and came closer to Carlos before he lowered his voice and stared into the Latino's dark brown eyes.

"Okay, to be honest. Back in high school, Logan and I were...we were kind of a...thing And I really want to spend some time with him again...to talk and stuff...but I know that he wouldn't meet me if I just called him up and asked him to meet up. So please, Carlos...I really need your help...and this contest is perfect for it!"

Carlos was know thinking and then his face showed sympathy. He nodded, smiling.

"Thank you so much!" James wrapped the Latino in a hug. "My assistant will send you all the information. And don't forget - I want to surprise Logan!"

Carlos nodded happily. "Yes, I'll make sure of it!"

"Good! Later then!" James smiled and was about to leave the shop before he stopped and turned to Carlos. "Oh, and next time, I'll try the chocolate chip pancakes!" He winked at the Latino and left the coffee shop before he could witness Dak's final explosion.

His bodyguard led him to big black limousine, which brought him back to Rocque Records. When he sat on the black leather seat, took his iPhone out of his jeans pocket, and dialed Kelly's number.

It rang a few times before it went to voicemail.

"Kelly, this is James! Do you remember these two guys from yesterday? I found out that I went to high school with one of them and I kind of invited them to go on tour with me for a week! Can you please take care of it? And if someone asks you, tell them that they won it in a contest! It's very important to me...I need that time so we can...um...rebound!"

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><p><em>"Hey, Logan... wait up!" Kendall ran into the school, trying to get Logan's attention, but Logan ignored the blond one coldly. "Come on, you know I didn't mean it that way! Logan!" Kendall, who was physically in a better shape than Logan, caught up with the black-haired boy easily.<em>

_"Fuck off, Knight!" Logan whispered under his breath, staring down at his shoes, as he made his way to his locker._

_"Logan... please," Kendall grabbed the shorter boy's arm and refused to let go, even when Logan tried so pull away. But Kendall made Logan to look him in the eyes and suddenly he regretted again what he said a few minutes ago outside the school to his best friend. "I'm sorry!"_

_"Yeah...whatever!"_

_"Please...Logan...you know that I support you, right? You know that I'm okay with you being..." Kendall lowered his voice and stepped forward, so he was closer to Logan. "...with you...liking boys. You know that, right? I'm okay with it!"_

_Logan looked away, but nodded carefully. Kendall smiled gladly, patting his friend on the shoulder. "Listen, bro! I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said it!"_

_"I know. It's okay, Kendall." With that, Kendall released Logan's arm and watched his friend walk away. He bit his lip and hoped that Logan really could forgive him._

_Logan sighed and put his history book into his locker, before he closed it and turned around to walk to his first class—that's when he spotted him._

_Kendall's words rang in his head again and he tried to forget them. He knew that Kendall didn't mean it like that. He and the blond were best friends since he could remember. They told each other everything. And they support each other at everything. At first Logan was afraid to tell Kendall that he liked boys more than girls. Sure, he liked girls also, and you can have your fun with them, too. But his heart beat only sped __up when he was with guys, which, honestly, wasn't that often. Sadly. But Kendall understood. He didn't tell the other team mates, as they would give Logan hell if they knew. No, Kendall always was on Logan's side. He made the others shut up if they joked about gays. He lied for Logan, when the __others asked Logan which girl he would spend the weekend with. Kendall always stood __up for Logan._

_That's the reason why Kendall's words hurt even more, if he just accidentally said something wrong._

_Logan's gaze was on that Diamond kid the whole time and he could hear his best __friend's words clearly in his head - "And how was your little tutor session yesterday? Hope you didn't use that stupid brat to release some sexual tension...or did you?"_

_The black haired boy watched how James tried to pack all of his books into his bag, which was too small for the five huge books. He saw how the brunette furrowed his eyebrows, frustrated, and then how he reached up to push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, because they kept sliding forwards. He watched him from the other side of the hall._

_Then suddenly James looked up and his eyes were on Logan for a second before his attention was on his big problem again._

_But Logan stared at him and couldn't believe what he felt when he looked into those hazel eyes again. And then Kendall's words were there, but now they didn't sound like an insult. They sounded more like...advice._

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><p><strong>Sooo... do you hate Dak as much as I do?<strong>


	3. CHAPTER 03

**hey guys,**

**well, it's awesome that you like this story so much. So THANK YOU for all the alerts and favs and reviews! ****Hope you enjoy the new chapter!**

**I think the rating went up a little, soon it'll be M, I promise ;D**

**By the way, this chapter is a complete flashback... now you know it!**

**And I don't own the guys (sadly) and now I really shut up!**

**But don't forget the review button ;D**

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 03: I Had Hoped You'd See My Face And That You'd Be Reminded<strong>

_That thought bothered Logan the whole day and he caught himself staring at James during lunch time and during class. He even watched out for him when he was wandering through the halls. Hell, he even forgot a physic equation during class, which was unforgivable. How could he forget it?_

_And he got very impatient when he didn't see the brunette - when he couldn't observe him; how he pushed his glasses up or how he tried to avoid Logan's team mates because they would shove him into the lockers. Logan caught James staring into mirrors or glass doors occasionally, but his expression never let Logan knew if the shorter boy liked or disliked his reflection. James always had his head down, and when he looked up he always was with his thoughts in another world._

_"Dude, really, I love you, but you really creep me out when you're in 'stalker mode'!" Kendall leaned next to Logan on his locker, arms crossed while he gave his best friend an amused side glance._

_"W-what?" Logan took his eyes off of James and turned his head to gave Kendall an apologizing look. The blond one raised one of his eyebrows and nodded towards James, whose locker was on the opposite wall from their lockers. Logan felt the heat raising in his cheeks and he coughed before Kendall could spot it._

_"Just go over and fuck him!" Kendall smirked smugly, shoving his friend lightly on the shoulder._

_Logan gasped and looked around in panic if anyone had heard him, before he shot Kendall a dead glare. Kendall rolled his eyes at the smart one._

_"I didn't say you should bang him against the lockers right here. But when you're so obsessed with him, which you are, just go and... uhm... charm him. Uh...there's Jo... gotta go!" And suddenly, Kendall was on Jo Taylor's trails. Logan stared after him and he grinned when he saw how nonchalantly Kendall rushed to her side, before starting up a conversation with her._

_But with Kendall gone, his gaze travelled back to the brunette's locker just to notice that James wasn't there anymore. Logan cursed under his breath before he grabbed his bag and walked to his next class._

_In three days was the big game and he knew he shouldn't think about something which couldn't be related to hockey. But it did't matter how hard he tried, the brunette never left his thoughts. And then an idea crossed his mind._

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><p><em>After school Logan skipped hockey practice and he knew Kendall would give him hell for it, but he didn't care at the moment. He knew all strategies. Hell, he helped to invent them, so he didn't need to practice, he had to make sure that his mind was clear until Saturday. And there was just one way to do that.<em>

_When he entered the library he didn't look at the girl at the front desk like he did normally. His eyes searched through the library, and when he spotted a certain brunette, his heart skipped a beat._

_To his satisfaction there were just a few other people. The black-haired boy smiled and walked over ambling. But he didn't take a seat opposite from James like he did last time. He walked around the desk, still unrecognized, and bent forwards to look over James' left shoulder, scaring the shit out of the shorter boy._

_Logan scanned the brunette's notes determinedly and was surprised that James wasn't lying when he told him yesterday that he understood the topic, which made Logan frown a little. Would this mean they spent less time together?_

_But when he felt the warmth of James' breath on his right cheek he couldn't concentrate anymore on numbers or equations. He turned his head a little to see that James turned his head as well. He saw the fear in the brunette's eyes and how he looked around irresolutely, wondering if he should stare at Logan or not. But James' curiosity won and he gave the older boy a puzzled look, clouded with awe._

_Logan continued smiling before he turned his head completely, just inches away from the brunette's lips, and looked straight into the irresistible hazel eyes._

_"Follow me!" His breath streaked James' cheek and Logan saw the brunette's eyes widen, half in fear and half in wonder. Logan noticed his fingers curl in on themselves; clutching the air tightly, along with the fact that James' breathing hitched for a half second. James nodded and was about to stand up when Logan chuckled lightly and walked away._

_James had to hurry when he followed Logan, who knew the library better than his own house. The brunette stumbled slightly when he realized that Logan led him in the back of the library, where the light was dusky and weak and where high shelves were full of dusty books, which no one wanted to read because their content was just dry and boring._

_"Wha-" he tried to ask but Logan grabbed his wrist and pulled him in a corridor between two shelves. When they reached its end, Logan pulled James forwards and pinned him against the wall; wrists above his head. James looked up in fear, waiting what Logan will do next. And what ever he tried to imagine Logan would do to him, he never could have sensed what came next._

_The black-haired boy stared down at James and lost himself in his eyes._

_God, he really loved those eyes._

_And before Logan could stop himself, he leaned forward and captured the brunette's lips with his. James stiffened under Logan's grip but Logan didn't loosen it and after a few seconds he felt that James kissed him back, which Logan took as permission to go further._

_He pressed himself closer to James, the tops of their torsos touching lightly as each heavy breath was taken, and grabbed the brunette's cheeks with both hands before he started to move his lips. James' lips were soft and Logan felt the insecurity because the short boy didn't know what to do. Logan smiled against James' lips and started to pull his upper lips cautiously between his teeth. The smart one felt how James raised his hands and grabbed his shirt tightly._

_Logan's breath was hot and suddenly he started to kiss the brunette harder, needier. His hands grabbed the younger boys shoulder to steady him because James bagged slightly. His tongue licked the others lips and he felt how James was shivering under him, but he parted his lips and let Logan enter his mouth. To Logan's satisfaction James grabbed his neck and pulled him closer, allowing Logan to explore his mouth, which the black-haired boy did. He breathed heavily into James' mouth and claimed him to move his tongue as well._

_James was not sure what to do or how to respond, but when Logan's hands wandered to his hair and pulled at the brown locks, James could not help but moan. His embarrassed blushing was unnoticed by Logan, because the smart one was too caught up in kissing the shorter boy furiously. But when Logan let go of his hair, he felt how Logan's leg snuck between his own legs and parted them._

_The fingers of his left hand were still tightly clutched around the fabric of Logan's shirt during his other hand was on Logan's neck. But he didn't dare to move them somewhere else, even if he wanted to touch the black locks so badly._

_But when James felt Logan's hand near his crotch, he freaked. He tried escape from Logan's grip, but the hockey player refused to let go. Instead he pressed himself closer to James. He started to palm the short boy through his jeans during he deepened the kiss. James didn't want to make any other sounds so he pressed his lips together and forced Logan to end the kiss. The brunette bit his lips to stop him from moaning. Logan smirked against the others jaw and started to place kisses down James' neck._

_The brunette's breathing came rapidly and as much as he tried he couldn't stop his body from reacting to Logan's touch._

_But suddenly Logan stepped back and was watching how James huddled against the wall, his chest raising up and down as he took in quick, short breaths. Logan pretended that his breathing was normal, nearly having a heart attack while doing it. But he didn't want to show James, which effect the boy had on him. So he stood there, smirking, running his fingers through his black locks while he watched the brunette closely._

_James' cheeks were tinted in a dark red and Logan knew that his stares made it even worse. But he couldn't look away. He had to watch James, how he clung on the wall, his hair messed up, cheeks red and his swollen lips half parted. He heard him panting and forced himself to just watch the boy's face and not to let his eyes travel further down._

_Because he knew; he couldn't stop himself then._

_So he just smiled sweetly at James and stepped again forwards, making the boy jump. He chuckled quietly and bend down to peck the brunette on the cheek before his breath streaked his ear._

_"You know where you could find me... let me know if you want a repeat... or more...," Logan breathed hoarsely into James' ear before he turned around and left the dark corridor, leaving a puzzled boy behind._

_His smirk grew wider when he left the library, knowing exactly that he now just had to wait - he gave the brunette until Sunday._

* * *

><p><em>Logan could see Kendall's mop of blond hair from far away. His friend sat on the porch steps in front of his house when he drove into the driveway. Logan grabbed his bag and got out of his '67 Mustang.<em>

_"I hope you have a really, really good excuse! And I'm talking about something important like you had to save someone's life and that's you weren't at hockey practice. Please tell me you saved someone's life, because otherwise I have to beat the crap out of you!" Kendall hissed when Logan closed his car door and strolled over, reaching into his pockets to grab his keys._

_"LOGAN!" Kendall nearly screamed when Logan didn't react._

_The black-haired boy shrugged and stared at his friend. "What?" He rolled his eyes and stopped in his tracks to look at Kendall, who just gaped at Logan. "Oh... what did you do?"_

_Logan grinned at his friend. "Followed your advice," and with that, he walked by Kendall and climbed the few steps until he stood in front of his door. He was about to unlock the door when he heard Kendall behind him. "Wait.. WHAT?" Kendall's screech echoed through the house._

_"You know.. that 'bang him against the lockers' speech really helped!" Logan turned around smirking before he opened the door and entered the huge house._

_"You are fucking kidding me, right?" Kendall yelled from the outside before he followed Logan into the house. "Right, Logan?"_

_"Nope!" Logan threw his bag onto the stairs, which lead upstairs, and continue walking until he stood in the huge, open kitchen, Kendall on his tails._

_"Where?"_

_"Library," Logan replied monotonous. He leaned against the counter top, elbows supporting his body._

_"And you couldn't wait until hockey practice was over?" Kendall screamed angrily._

_"Ahh... come on, Kendall!" Logan tried to lighten Kendall's mood, "I'm only kidding!" Kendall remained quiet for a few moments, his face slowly softening._

_"But you were at the library?" The blond asked after a few contemplative moments. Logan was reluctant to respond._

_"Yeah..."_

_"To see him!" Kendall concluded, pointing his fingers accusingly to the smart one._

_"Yes."_

_"You are fucking lucky that you're gifted with a mind-blowing hockey play! You know that, right?" Kendall watched his friend turn to devour his home of all food stocked. Logan nodded and sighed._

_"I took care of it," Logan promised, "Won't miss practice anymore!"_

_Well, he wasn't sure he'd keep that one._

_"We'll see," Kendall mumbled under his breath, knowing his best friend to well._

_When Logan wanted something, he got it, it didn't matter what he had to do for it._


	4. CHAPTER 04

**wow... okay... this time I updated fast ;D**

**But I have finals next week, so don't expect a new chapter until Thursday! But I promise you... you'll have the next one on Friday! Hope that made sense...**

**Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Tell me, what you think!**

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 04: That For Me, It Isn't Over<strong>

The smell of melting chocolate woke Logan up and it took him a few seconds to realize that his apartment could go up in flames. He sat up abruptly, eyes wide in shock. But after that Logan also realized that it was morning and that he didn't fall asleep while cooking.

He groaned, knowing that it was Carlos, who sneaked into his apartment and made him breakfast. And when Carlos made breakfast something really bad had happened, or would happen. You never know with Carlos.

That boy was a walking time bomb.

When Logan walked into his little kitchen, he nearly died of a heart attack. His usually clean kitchen was a mess. And Carlos stood in its middle; covered in flour, chocolate and sugar. He gave Logan a bright smile and pointed to the frying pan. "I made you pancakes!" He smiled like a child - he looked like one in the mess he had made!

"Shouldn't the ingredients be in the frying pan?" Logan asked jokingly.

"They are, okay?" Carlos replied, a little saddened. "I made you my famous chocolate chip pancakes!" He bounce back to his usual, bouncing self. Logan shook his head.

"I always ask myself what's wrong with Dak, because he let you use the kitchen!" Logan told his friend, half joking and half serious.

"My pancakes are EPIC!" Carlos retorted. And he was right. Carlos' pancakes were awesome. Maybe how he created them was a little weird, but the result was impressive. And Dak's café lived from these pancakes. Because, honestly, the coffee sucked!

"Sure... whatever! You'll clean that up! I have to go to work!" Logan took a mug out of his cabinets and put it under the coffee maker, to make himself a nice Italian brew coffee.

"Oh no, you don't! You're on vacation!" Carlos words made him turn around and he looked at the short Latino puzzled.

"What?" Logan stared at Carlos, his jaw agape. Carlos grinned widely back.

"I called your boss and now you have the week off. Am I awesome or what?" Carlos thrust a plate into Logan's hands and nodded toward the table. Logan looked down at his pancakes and followed Carlos. While Carlos drowned his pancakes in syrup, Logan thought about what Carlos could have done to him.

"Why should I want to take the week off?" Logan finally asked and while he watched Carlos scarfing his food.

"We're going on a... drum roll please... road trip!" Carlos grinned.

"A road trip? To where?" Logan asked, skeptical and reluctant.

"Uhm... I don't know exactly... I think east coast... probably?" He cringed.

"Probably?" Logan asked, eyes squinted in question, rage clouded with questions.

"I won it!" Carlos said reluctantly. Logan's eyes went wide with ideas of how this could end badly.

"Oh no...!" He said, standing to leave.

"Come on! It will be fun!" Carlos tried to keep the dimpled boy.

"The last time wasn't really fun, Carlos!" He yelled, gripping his hair. This wasn't going to be good.

"It's over a month now since James kissed you. God, grow up, Logan!" Carlos rolled his eyes at the smart one, whose mouth hung open perplex.

"Okay... I'm coming with you!" Logan growled bitterly; more to shut him up than anything.

"Sweet!" The Latino smiled happily at his friend and fidgeted with his fork. Logan just nodded, asking himself again how Carlos could have become his best friend.

After breakfast, Carlos told Logan that their 'little road trip' would start in a few hours and that Logan should get ready, because they have to follow a strict schedule.

A grumbling Logan started to pack his things.

* * *

><p>"Logan! Hurry up, man!" Carlos looked back to Logan, who struggled with his two heavy bags.<p>

"Yeah.. chillax, dude. I'm coming!" The smart one panted, mentally rolling his eyes at the shorter one.

"We have to be there in 2 minutes!"

"Hey... I wasn't the one who wanted to rob that Dunkin' Donuts Shop!"

"Haha... just hurry!"

"I have to say, I'm really surprised that you entered a contest, which hasn't to do anything with James Diamo... ARE YOU NUTS?" Logan stopped in his tracks, his two bags dropped to the ground while he stared at the black tour bus. He didn't paid attention to where Carlos had led him, but now he realized where they were.

Oh... Carlos was so dead!

When he turned to the Latino, Logan was glad that Carlos stepped back, bringing some distance between them, because the black-haired man was mad. Really mad.

He glanced over the parking lot, before he obliged himself to look at the tour bus again. It was the same black bus, with the same silver letters.

James Diamond.

Rule the World Tour.

Road trip.

Tour.

Road.

Bus.

JAMES DIAMOND!

"OH MY FUCKING GOD" Logan screamed at Carlos, making the Latino jump. "HOW COULD YOU... WHY... WHAT... DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH... OH GOD... CARLOS... FUCK!" Logan sat on the curb at his feet, his elbows on his knees and hands cupping his face.

Carlos gave Logan an apologetic look, slightly regretting that he forced his friend here. But before he could say anything Logan stood and stampeded away.

"Logan! Please, wait! Logan!" Carlos called after his hurt friend

"Ohh... go to hell, Carlos!" Logan didn't turn around when he heard his friend's voice. He need to get away before-

"Logan!" The smart one would recognize that voice everywhere. A moment later, he felt warm fingers wrapping gently around his wrist.

He turned around to face James and to tell him that he also could go to hell and that he would never, ever go on tour with him.

But his words kept stuck in his throat.

James stood there, wearing black slacks and a black jacket. The sleeves were rolled up, revealing his muscular forearms. The white dress shirt, which had its first buttons undone, showed off James tanned chest. His black bow tie wasn't tied and hung loosely around the brunette's neck.

Logan wanted to pull away. He wanted to run away and never see either of the two again, but James was too strong. So much changed since high school.

James changed.

The last time Logan wasn't that aware of the change. He was too caught in the fact, who James was and what he did, before he could see, in which way the brunette changed.

But now he saw it... and it honestly took his breath away. It didn't just take it; it shoved it's damn pretty face down his throat and ripped his airsacks out.

Not only had James's height and frame changed, but now his expressions changed as well. His eyes were arrogant, knowing that he looked gorgeous and exactly how gorgeous he looked - especially now. His hazel eyes were no longer innocent; they were darker and Logan could see the lust in them. His whole appearance was beaming with confidence.

Logan tried to catch his breath. Yeah, he knew James back then. Hell, and how he knew him, but he never ever expected him to become that!

Hazel eyes met chocolate ones and suddenly Logan was back at the library in their hometown. Memories flooded back to him, memories he tried so badly to forget.

And he didn't know what shocked him more, the fact that James changed so extremely or the fact that he imagined what had happened when James would have looked like this back in high school.

Hell, he need to get out of here, before everything ran out of control!

He tried again to escape from James' grip, but instead to break free he found himself pressed against the brunette's body. Logan's heart rate increased and he felt the warmth raising up in his cheeks. James had one arm around his waist while his other sneaked up and started to touch the nape of Logan's neck lightly with his finger tips.

James' hazel eyes stared down at Logan, before he sealed Logan's lips with his.

And Logan was sure, no one kissed him ever like that. The one in the bus a month ago didn't really count, because Logan was to puzzled to realize it and before James could deepened the kiss, Logan had stormed out of the bus.

But now James was kissing him, like he never kissed him before. He actually never kissed him. James always was the passive one.

But now he was the one in control. He was the one who moved his lips against Logan's. He was one whose hands were all over Logan, holding him close. He was the one who forced Logan to open his lips, so he could explore the smart one's mouth with his tongue.

Logan felt James' hot breathing and it made him shiver. The brunette tugged at Logan's bottom lip, biting it slightly.

And then Logan tried to tangle his hands in the brunette's locks, but James' hands were around his wrist immediately and prevent him from touching his hair.

When James broke the kiss, Logan was panting heavily, looking up to James with glassy eyes. Then the brunette smirked and leant down, streaking Logan's ear with his breath.

"You know where you could find me... let me know if you want a repeat... or more...," James' voice was deep and husky and then he turned around and walked back to his tour bus, leaving a puzzled man behind.

* * *

><p>When Logan came back to where he had dropped his bags, he didn't know what to think. He remembered clearly that he used to say those words to James. The words he lured James into his arms with, making him his personal property.<p>

But now he felt like he failed. Because James took now his role.

But better.

Logan was confident as a teenager, yes. But James walked around with so much pride and the knowledge that he could make people do whatever he wanted, that Logan wondered how he even was able to control him back then.

Logan knew that whatever he did in the past, James could do it better.

When Logan kissed James the first time, he was kind of scared, when James kissed Logan at few seconds ago, James knew exactly what he was doing.

In high school Logan gave James days to decide, now James gave Logan just minutes.

The smart one stared at the black tour bus, his lips burned and he could still taste James' scent on them. He hated himself for it, but he knew the answer to James words. He knew what he would do, even if he didn't want to.

It worked, because James used Logan's strategy.

And Logan tasted now his own medicine - it made him addicted to James.

Like he made James addicted to him.

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><p><strong>well... it's a little short, I know and I'm sorry... the next one will be longer ; )<strong>

**But until then, check out my new Kames OS: .net/s/7641322/1/**


	5. CHAPTER 05

**new chapter... here we go ;D**

**Well... I can say that the rating officially went up to M!**

**So, hope you enjoy this chapter! The story is heating up a little and we have dominant!Logan and also dominant!James in here. I hope you now get the whole role change thing better! ;D**

**Please tell me, what's on your mind!**

**Lovely greetings, Kia**

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 05: Old Friend, Why Are You So Shy?<br>**

_The hockey game was practically won, but nevertheless Logan and Kendall played like gods; scoring in the last minutes, pushing up their team's score. When the signal marked the end of the game, the two boys were encircled by their team mates, who congratulate them on their good play._

_Logan and Kendall high fived when they walked together to the boys locker room._

_"Good game, Mitchell!" Kendall congratulated his smart friend, a pat on the back received a little harder than intended._

_"I can give that back, Knight!" The shorter of the two grinned toothily upwards._

_Both boys laughed before they peeled themselves out of their wet hockey gears to join the other players under the showers._

_When Logan and Kendall changed their clothes, they walked together out of the gym, heading to Kendall's car. They always were the last ones, but they didn't care very much, that everyone was gone by now. After every game there was a party somewhere. And tonight it was at Jett's place._

_"You driving with me?" The blond one asked, when he opened his trunk to threw his duffel bag in. But Logan shook his head._

_"No, my car is over there. Guess, I see you at Jett's!" He said before watching his friend open his driver's seat door._

_"Yep!" And with that Kendall got into the driver's seat and started the engine from his '69 Chevrolet. He grinned at Logan before he drove from the parking lot. Logan grinned and shook his head at his friend, before he walked over to his Mustang. That's when he spotted the dark shadow standing near his car._

_His smirk grew wider, when he saw who it was._

_"Well, well... look who showed up!" The smart one came nearer and he could see the brunette jump in surprise. Even it was too dark to make out James's expressions exactly, Logan saw how the hazel eyes wandered around nervously, trying to avoid Logan's gaze._

_When James finally looked up, Logan saw how he blushed. The smart one opened his trunk and put his duffel bag in it, like Kendall did before, before he turned around to face James._

_The brunette looked at his hands, which he kneaded insecurely. Logan bit his lip at this sight and he stepped closer, wanting to touch the brunette again._

_"So.. you want a repeat?" Logan smirked and examined James closely. It took the brunette a few moments, before he finally nodded. He looked slowly up, watching Logan cautious through his glasses, like he waited for the black-haired boy to burst out in laughter and exclaiming that everything is a huge joke._

_But Logan stepped even closer, so their bodies were nearly touching, before he reached up to took the brunette's glasses off. He placed them on the roof of his car, then he turned back to the shorter boy, smiling triumphantly._

_"What exactly do you want me to do?" Logan asked and the it amused him, when he saw James's eyes widen in perception._

_"I...uhm.. y-you... could... k-kiss m-me... a-gain?" The brunette stuttered and looked away, embarrassed that he said something like that to a boy. But Logan just stared at him._

_Then he grabbed the short boy by his shoulders and turned him so that his back was pressed against Logan's car. Logan lent forwards and started to kiss his jaw line until be reached the brunette's ear._

_"Let me show you something better...," Logan whispered hoarsely and licked the skin below James' ear. The brunette's gasped and he nodded, before he tossed his head back, moaning impatiently. Logan chuckled against James's neck, then he reached down to palm the brunette's through his jeans._

_James hands clutched Logan's back, when the black-haired boy began to tighten his grip around the brunette's clothed cock. Logan's head rested on James shoulder and the brunette felt how hot breath was brushing against his neck. James bit down on his lips to avoid any louder sounds but he couldn't stop the muffled moans. And it became more difficult when Logan started to rub his crotch rhythmically._

_Additionally, the black-haired boy to lick along James' skin, biting down and leaving a purple mark there._

_"Lo...gan...," James breathed out huskily, throwing his head back and forth. The smart one laughed quietly, lifted his head to look James in the glassy eyes before he pressed his lips on James'. This time James opened his lips immediately and Logan slid his tongue in the smaller's boy mouth. Their lips moved in synchronization, during Logan's hand lifted James shirt a little to play with the waistband of James' jeans, tugging slightly at them. James moaned against Logan's lips when he felt how the rough material of his denim's rub against his throbbing dick._

_Then Logan' gazed over the brunette's member again, before he started to unbuttoning and unzipping James' pants. His hand slid beneath the other's boxers and grabbed the brunette's dick. Logan stroked James's erection up and down, starting slowly until his movements became nearly frantic. James panted, struggling for air and feeling Logan's hard-on pressing against his thigh wasn't helping._

_Logan started to place wet kisses along the shorter's jaw line at the same time and driving the younger boy crazy with his movements. "Come!" Logan commanded harshly and squeezing James' member harder._

_The smart one's fingers circled around the tip of James' cock, making it hard for the brunette not to scream out loud. But one final stroke sent James over the edge and he came into Logan's hand._

_The innocent hazel eyes met the chocolate ones when Logan pulled his hand out of James' jeans, grinning widely. Then the brunette's gaze traveled down to look at the bulge in Logan' tight pants, before he looked up to see how the smart one licked his fingers clean._

_James swallowed, feeling how his hardened again._

_"S-should I... uhm... I could..." The brunette stuttered and he looked down, showing Logan what he wanted to ask. But when he heard the soft laugher from the older boy, he looked up once more to give Logan an embarrassed look._

_"No!" Logan stated firmly, touching James's cheeks with his fingertips gently. "Next time!" He added before he grabbed James' glasses from his car roof and held them out for James, so he could put them on._

_He smirked and leant forward to kiss the brunette's cheek. "See ya around, Jamie!" And with that, Logan opened the car door to slide into the driver's seat. He slammed the door shut and started the engine, turning his head slightly to give James a last glance, before he drove off to Jett's party, leaving - again - a puzzled boy behind._

* * *

><p>Logan swallowed a few times before he overcame himself and entered the black tour bus, shaking hands by his sides.<p>

"Well, well... look who showed up!"

The smart one blushed at James' words, knowing that the brunette was using his own words. Logan could tell that James enjoyed playing with him. The pop star, who sat on the black leather couch, wore a cocky grin on his lips, while his hazel eyes followed Logan's movements.

"Where can I put my stuff?" Logan tried to sound calm like his voice wouldn't quiver, but James still was wearing that fucking suit and Logan's palms got sweaty at the sight, and the thoughts he got when his eyes gazed over James' exposed neckline weren't too innocent. Biting down on his bottom lip, Logan put his bags in one of the bunk beds that James was pointing at.

"So.. you want a repeat?" James voice was like velvet, knowing he sounded seducing.

Logan looked up to see how James slowly pulled his black jacket off of his muscular shoulders. His movements were a pure allure and Logan couldn't stop himself from licking his lips. The brunette saw it and his eyes grew darker.

"Come here!" He hissed, which sent a pleasured feeling down Logan's spine and even when his mind told him no, he walked over to James. The brunette yanked the other down by the collar of his plaid shirt as soon as the black-haired man was in reach and sealed their lips together.

Before Logan could do something, he found himself under James, back pressed against the leather and the brunette hovering over him, straddling him with his long legs.

The smart one felt how James smirked against his lips. The brunette started to tug at his bottom lips and Logan parted his lips slightly to allow James' access. The brunette' tongue explored Logan's mouth, while his hands trailing up and down Logan's arm, before he started to unbutton his shirt slowly; one by one.

Logan's hands cramped into James' sides, while the taller man slid the fabric off of Logan's shoulders, revealing the smooth, pale skin that James missed so much. Even with living in California for a few years now, Logan never got tan. James broke the kiss and leant back to eye the other man exactly. In contrast to Logan, he was tanned because he spent all his free time at the beach surfing, but when he laid a hand on Logan's chest did the difference fascinate him.

He leant down and inhaled the smart one's scent, before he started to nibbling at the sensitive skin. James knew that it drove Logan crazy when he licked over his collar bones.

"God... James..." Logan breathed out in a husky tone and clawed his finger into James sides, starting to tug at the dress shirt to pull it out of the brunette's pants. James chuckled quietly.

Then he reached down to cup the bulge in Logan's pants, making the black-haired one gasp on surprise and pleasure. When he started to roll his hips against Logan's pelvis, the smart one tugged in sharp breaths.

"F-Fuck...J-Ja...me's"

James started to rock harder against Logan, grinning satisfied when the other started to hyperventilate, panting rapidly. "What you want, Logan? Tell me!" James kissed Logan furiously, ramming his tongue into the black-haired man's mouth. The brunette's hand groping Logan's shoulders roughly. The smart one was still well built, not as detailed as James was, but back in high school James was the scrawny one, because Logan was the jock. Logan never was that muscular but his body was well defined and no one ever complained. But now by comparison with James, he felt skinny and bony.

But the brunette seemed not to care, because he caressed Logan's body passionately. The smart one groaned when he felt James' erection brush against his. He started to tug at the dress shirt again, making the attempt to unbutton it, but James's fingers wrapped around his wrist. Logan winced, dying to see what the brunette looked like. James was killing him with not allowing him to touch him. Not his hair, not his chest and not his dick, because that's the next thing Logan aimed for, but again, James prevent him from touching it.

Logan groaned frustrated, now clutching the expensive, white fabric of James' shirt, pulling the brunette down and crashed their lips together once again.

"J-James...!"

"Damn...!" James started to circle his hips with more rhythm, grinding deeper into Logan, making the black-haired one now scream. The brunette smiled, when he felt that Logan's hips bucked forwards desperately.

James knew that Logan was close.

With a last hard movement, James thrusted his pelvis against Logan, making the smart one climaxing.

Logan sunk back into the cushion, his heart hammered into his ears and breathing hurt him. His dark eyes glanced up to James, who was still straddling Logan. The brunette smirking down at him before he lent forwards and biting down slightly at Logan's collar bone, making the smart one wince in pleasure.

"See ya around, Logie!" And with that James heaved himself off of Logan's lap, making the other wince again because of the lost weight. The cold air from the air conditioner hit Logan's bare chest and made him shiver. Suddenly he missed the heat, which was coming from the brunette.

James smiled sweetly at the still flustered man, when he tucked his shirt back into his pants, straightening it with his hands. He grabbed his black jacket from the floor and put it on, his eyes never leaving Logan, who whipped the sweat from his forehead, before he started to put his own shirt on, eyes still lowered so he didn't have to look into the brunette's amused hazel eyes.

"I have a photo shoot to attend. But, Carlos should be back soon." James grinned again at Logan, before he left his tour bus. Logan's head felt back and rested on the backrest of the leather couch, before he groaned frustrated, hating himself for letting James take advantage of him.

This was gonna be a long, long road trip.

* * *

><p><em>When Logan arrived at the party, Kendall was outside the house and waited for him. His eyebrows were narrowed and he gave Logan that knowing look. Logan hated that look. It was the I-am-fucking-Kendall-Knight-and-I-rule-the-world-so-I-can-screw-you-over-look and Logan always earned it when he did something stupid. And Kendall always knew what exactly that stupid something was, even Logan never told him about.<em>

_And of course, Kendall knew about James and the library but Logan never told about the ultimatum he gave James. And anyhow, Kendall knew that Logan was late because he had met James at the parking lot and that he played with the younger boy. He knew that Logan planned on using the brunette and honestly the blond wasn't sure if this really was an good idea. But Kendall stayed quiet and together the two boys walked into the house, ready to get wasted._

_It didn't take long for Logan to find some drunk cheerleader, who he could push into a closet and fuck senseless. He still was hard from what had happened at the parking lot. With James._

_Logan straighten his sweatshirt when he stepped twenty minutes later next to Kendall, who was currently in the kitchen, stalking Jo Taylor. The smart one ran a hand through his dark, disheveled locks, giving the blond on a smirking side glance. Kendall just rolled his eyes at his best friend._

_"Have you enjoyed banging that chick in the closet?" He asked angrily, gripping his can a little too tightly._

_"Sure... at least I get some action... and don't just... stare...," Logan nodded in Jo' direction, making Kendall glare at him. The smart one just shrugged it off amused._

_"Shut the fuck up!" Kendall replied, blushing._

_"Come on, Kendall! Admit it, you're stalking Jo Taylor!" Logan retorted._

_"Haha... and because we have confession time right know, tell me, Logan? Did you chose a brunette cheerleader on purpose or was that just... luck?" The blond turned his head and gave Logan a challenging look, but Logan was too tired to really argue with Kendall._

_"Fuck you, Knight!" Logan yelled, anger dripping from each and every letter._

_"Can't; I'm busy stalking, did you forget?" Kendall smirked, knowing he pissed Logan off with his comment. Logan always was reserved when it comes to "his" boys. Kendall really didn't care about it, but Logan wasn't ready to come out, so every action he got with boys were forced ones. Normally Logan would pick younger, unpopular boys he could charm and bring them to give in in his seduction, because, well, he was Logan._

_And till now everything went well, because these boys went to other schools or lived in one of the neighbor towns._

_But this time was different._

_This Diamond kid went to the same school and it was something in his eyes, which made Kendall thoughtful. Yeah, Logan was manipulative, but he was his best friend and something was up with that brunette. Logan seemed just too obsessive with him yet. His past male flings lasted a few dates, and Logan never ditched hockey for them or neglected school. He met them, fucked them and told them no one could know and that it was over. That's how it worked and Kendall was fine with that until Logan decided to come out the closet and want to look for someone serious._

_But with James everything was different. Kendall couldn't reckon Logan anymore and that's what is bothering him._

_"Just spill it out!" Logan's voice brought the blond back in reality and he gave his friend a questioning look._

_"What? Spill what?" Kendall asked, rolling his eyes_

_"What you want to tell me since I'm arrived here," Logan replied, a frown starting to form. He caught himself and knocked it off, though._

_"You playing with fire, Loges!" Kendall sighed, earning a unbelieving look from Logan._

_"What the hell are you talking about?" The usually smart one asked, unknowing._

_"That Diamond kid. You're using him!" Kendall accused. He threw his hands up in disgust._

_"And what? You're afraid that I fall in love with him?"_

_"It's not you I'm afraid of. It's him, because one day he'll come back into your life and then he's the one, who screws with you, trust me! And when this day comes, call me, so I can tell you that I told you so!"_

_"Ahh... go stalk Jo, Kendall! Please, you're talking crap!" Logan didn't want to deal with Kendall at the moment._

_"The day will come, Logan, trust me!"_

_"The fuck it will!"_

_"You'll see!"_

* * *

><p>"James!" Kelly was impatient and angry, when James finally returned to the studio where the photo shooting took place. After the brunette came from the mask, he just ran off without saying a word. Just like that, all dressed and ready for the photos.<p>

Kelly tried to calm down the photographer and the other staff. She lied that James got an important phone call and that he will be back any minute. Well, it took him fifty-eight minutes to be exactly and woe betide him if he ruined his two thousand dollar suit.

But James smiled brightly at everyone, apologizing that he ran off and everything was forgiven. Because he was James Diamond and it was the photographer, who should be grateful to work with James and not James for working with him.

"Where the hell where you and why didn't you answer any of my calls!" Kelly fizzes quietly when James was near to her.

"I was at the tour bus, got a call that Logan and Carlos had arrived!"

"And you couldn't wait with saying hello after the photo shoot?"

"Nope. Otherwise Logan wouldn't have come along!" James laughed at his insider joke, which Kelly didn't understand. She just shook her head.

"Well, at least you are here now! Let's get over with this!" She ushered James into the shoot area.

At the same moment the make up artist came and tried to fix James' appearance a little, but the photographer screamed at her, before she could lay a hand on James.

"No no, I love it! The sex hair, I love it! And the shirt and the jacket... perfect... let's take the pictures, Mr. Diamond! Perfect, I so love it!"

James smiled brightly at the man and followed him to stand in front of the huge white screen.

Sex hair? Ha.. he actually didn't let Logan touch his hair.

And just the thought of Logan made his heart rate go wild and he hated it. Hated the fact that the black-haired one still had so much control over him. James knew that Logan now lacked self confidence and that's why it was so easy to convince him, but James actually wondered if he had been able to do that back in high school, when he would have looked like this and had his self confidence then.

What if he had met Logan under different circumstances?

What if they had been equal then, maybe meeting at a store. Would they had started flirting with each other? Would they had gone out on a date? And when they actually had the first time sex, would it had been James, who had took the lead, because he was the stronger one and Logan liked it to be controlled?

Okay, he wouldn't have know that back then.

He wouldn't have know a lot about Logan, because they wouldn't have lasted long.

Logan never dated in public.

So maybe it was good, that he didn't look like that back then, because then he wouldn't have had to go through that year with Logan. He wouldn't have had to know Logan.

And James was sure, he wasn't complaining about who he was back then or that Logan used him because he was a nobody. He got to know Logan better than somebody else ever would and that was worth it.

Even he got his heart broken in the process.

And now he actually looked hot. And now was the time, where he showed Logan what it's like to have someone, who had the control over you. Who could make you do things you never dreamed of.

Besides, it was a kink of Logan, so it's a win win situation, right?


	6. CHAPTER 06

**what up? :)**

**I'm so, so sorry! I can't even say how sorry I am! It took me so long for updating this and again I'm really sorry! I promise you that I'll finish this story and if not you're allowed to kick my ass! Seriously, I'm trying to write it, but I started a new Jarlos story, which I gonna put online soon, and I'm writing a little sequel to Knight of Diamond and yeah... I really try!**

**This chapter is exciting, I promise and hope it will make it up to you! Jagan smut... yaay ;D**

**The end is mean... really, really mean! And I'm currently writing at Chapter 07... so if you read this let me know what do you think should James do now? Get your dirty thoughts to me! I'm open for everything... haha xD**

**I actually can't say which I like better, Dom!Logan or Dom!James... but I love to write the past scenes, so... I guess I like both!**

**At this point, I want to give a shout out to **_Newbie-0.0Q**, **_**I really love her for helping me with all my stories and supporting my crazy thoughts! You know, there's only one pairing, which can rule the world! ;D**

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 06: Ain't Like You To Hold Back Or Hide From The Light<strong>

"Carlos, am I weak?" Logan looked at his best friend, who sat beside him on the black leather couch, currently playing one of the dozen video games James had given to the Latino before he left again for another interview.

Logan was still a little flustered because of what had happened just a few hours ago. He blushed at the thought and guilt washed over him, when he looked at Carlos, who sat in the exact same spot, he had when James did... things... to him.

When the brunette came back from his photoshoot, Carlos had joined Logan already in the back lounge of the tour bus and they both waited for James, but he just told them that he had to do some interviews to promote his tour. He also told them that their little road trip will start around 10 pm.

"What?" Carlos paused the game and looked at Logan puzzled.

"Am I weak?" Logan repeated.

"No... I mean, we go to the gym together and you can lift..."

"No, I mean mentally! Am I mentally weak?"

Carlos crooked his head confused. "You... are smart!" He said slowly, not getting what Logan want to hear from him.

The black-haired one groan, rubbing his face with his hand. "I mean, do I give in easily when other people want something from me? Did I ever said no or bitched at them for even ask me that? Am. I. Weak?"

"But you love to help people, Logan! You always put others before you. That's very... gentle!"

"Just because I ditched med school once to drive you to the hospital with a broken leg, doesn't mean I put others first. Everyone would have done it! Even the meanest person in the world!"

"No! The meanest person would have made me walk!" The Latino grinned widely and Logan rolled his eyes. Unbelievable.

"Why do you ask anyway?" Carlos wanted to know, putting the game controller beside him. He watched Logan with curiosity.

"Because I changed so much since high school. James reminded me, that I actually was mean and confident then and I just wondered why I'm not anymore. When did I become a loser?"

"Well, if it comforts you, I like the loser better!"

"Huh?"

"I just can't imagine you all mean and bossy. I like how you are now! And now you care about your friends and your family. And believe me, you're far away from being a loser!"

"Haha... Kendall once said the same thing, just that he liked the me better, who beat the shit out of people, the mean me!"

"Well... then your Kendall is stupid, though I never met him!" The Latino crossed his arms and pouted, making Logan smile a little.

"It's just..."

"Do you miss being the mean one?"

"I guess not... maybe... when I'm around James... yes, then I miss it!"

"Why?"

"God, James and I... we have so much history together, so much I did to him and never can take it back... he must hate me deep down in his heart so much... or at least he should. I wasn't nice to him, hardly ever fair. I treated him like shit, but he never complained. He did what I told him. But now... he changed _so fucking much_. Kendall was right. Now he's screwing with me and I can't stop him. I helped him with that years ago, when we had this sort of relationship. He just was always there, did what I wanted, but it was never like he did something for it. He never was the one who started something or tried to seduce me. He never used his charm on me before. And now that he did, it's just so _intense._ I always wanted that in high school, you know, someone who fucked me instead that I fucked him. And now he's here and he's so _gorgeous_ and I can't do anything about it." Logan thought that he lost Carlos somewhere along his speech, but the Latino hung on his lips, watching him with big, brown eyes.

"H-he seduced you... but he didn't talk you into sex, did he?"

"What... no no... no, he didn't"

_Yet._

"Ohh god... because then I have to kick his ass, which I actually don't want to, because, well, I'm his biggest fan!" Carlos laughed and Logan joined in with small giggles. Talking with Carlos was always a relief for him.

"But seriously, Logan, why don't you just enjoy it?"

"Enjoy it?"

"Yeah... look, James obviously wants you... and now he got the self confidence, he lacked in high school... and... uhm... the looks... so why not live your dream a little and give him the control he already took... okay, you can't bitch him out now, but who cares, you aren't sixteen anymore."

"Well... you've only got one life, right..."

"Right... that's why you gotta live it big time!"

* * *

><p><em>"Logan, seriously, what the hell do you think are you doing?" Kendall whispered quietly in the smart one's direction. AP Spanish was the only class, where they sat next to each other, in fact it was Kendall's only AP class and Logan always wondered how the blond could be so good in Spanish.<em>

_"What you mean?" Logan asked innocently, without looking up from his textbook. But when he peeked up curious, Kendall gave him the look and Logan rolled his eyes. Logan was about to answer his friend, when their Spanish teacher interrupted them._

_"Mr. Mitchell, Mr. Knight! What's so important? Please, tell us!"_

_Logan gave Kendall a amused look, leaving it to him to apologize. But Kendall just looked at Mrs. Sanchez and answered him in fluent Spanish._

_Mrs. Sanchez was puzzled, also was Logan and both stared at the blond one, whose green eyes shined brightly. __Still a little impressed by Kendall's answer, continued Mrs. Sanchez with the reading._

_"Dude... since when are you that good in Spanish?" Logan leant closer to Kendall, who smirked at his best friend._

_"I had help..." Kendall whispered mysteriously and the smart one raised of his eyebrows._

_"No offense, bro... but you seriously tell me that you learned how to speak Spanish perfectly in just one month, while you have problems to pass English. Honestly I thought you lost your mind, when you signed up for a AP class!"_

_"You're hurting me, Hortense!" Kendall stated, putting a hand over his chest and made a hurt expression._

_"Stop calling me that!"Logan frowned at the use of his real name._

_"I'm a walking secret... there's a lot you don't know about me, Hortense!" The blond one said quietly and smirked, when he saw how Logan got mad._

_"Stop calling me that!" Logan said louder than he wanted and suddenly the whole class was quiet. Logan turned his head to see Mrs. Sanchez staring angrily at him._

_"Mr. Mitchell! I'll see you in detention!"_

_Logan gave her an unbelieving look, before he shoot daggers in Kendall's direction, because he was chuckling next to him. The smart one nodded and spend the rest of the class ignoring Kendall._

_When the bell rang, both boys got up and walked out of the class room._

_"You can thank me later for that!" Kendall shouted before he ran away, leaving a puzzled Logan behind._

_The black-haired boy snorted, not really getting what he should Kendall thank for, when he walked to his next class._

_What sick plan was Kendall inventing?_

_When he stepped into the class room, where he had AP Physics, Logan glance first wandered to the desk in the back. James' desk. But it was empty now, which confused the smart one a little. He saw the brunette this morning in AP Calculus and normally James was always early._

_Logan took a seat and waited impatiently, but James didn't showed up. When Mr. Smith closed the door and started, Logan couldn't focus. But then James showed up, just 10 minuted too late. He was breathing heavily like he had ran a marathon and Logan grinned widely._

_He has to admit. Kendall was a genius!_

_Mr. Smith was very strict and looked at the brunette with an annoyed expression. "Ahh, Mr. Diamond! You're late!"_

_"Y-yes, Mr, Smith. I'm sorry. There were these two guys and..."_

_"I don't care, Mr. Diamond! Detention and now have a seat!"_

_James paled, but nodded and walked to his desk in the back of the class room. And Logan just couldn't stop smiling._

_The day went by unexcited and Logan never thought that he couldn't wait until detention. Kendall grinned the whole day, reminding his smart friend now and then, who was the genius and Logan couldn't stop but thank the blond for his idea._

_"Well... don't rush things, Loges!" Kendall said, when the bell rang and school was out. The blond grinned and made his way to the parking lot. The black-haired boy looked after his friend, a smile on his lips, when he took his bag and walked to the room, where they had detention._

_James stood already there, looking nervous around, definitely scared by the other students._

_"Hey... look who it is! 'The Face' Diamond. What the fuck are you doing here, fag?" Ozzy, one of the school bullies approached the brunette, making him press against the wall. James looked away, his eyes landing on Logan, who came nearer to witness the scene._

_"Why don't you shut the fuck up? Otherwise we'll see how much of a fag you are... without a dick." Logan growled at the taller boy, making him step aside and look at Logan with feared eyes. Hell yeah, no one raised his voice against Logan Mitchell. Ever._

_"Now. Fuck. Off." Logan added and the other boy jumped, stumbling backwards, until there was good eight feet between them. The black-haired boy nodded, before he grabbed James wrist. He felt that the brunette was trembling, his big hazel eyes looking up to Logan in angst._

_"Come with me!" He hissed and James let Logan pull him away from the other kids, who were waiting in front of the closed door until the teacher arrived._

_The hockey player lugged the smaller boy with him until they turned around a corner and were in an empty hallway. Before James could say anything Logan pressed him against the lockers, like Ozzy did before, and stared into the hazel eyes furiously._

_"Don't let ever anyone touch you like this!"_

_And with that Logan smashed his lips against James'. The brunette was surprised at first, but gave in eventually. He nodded to confirm Logan's demand. The smart one smiled against the soft lips, before he licked along James' lower lip. The brunette knew what he wanted and parted his lips, so Logan could slide his tongue in._

_The next minutes, the two boys were making out and they only stopped, because the lack of oxygen made their heads spin._

_James looked at Logan with wide eyes, while Logan grinned down at him._

_"Thanks!"_

_Logan raised an eyebrow at James' words, but nodded understanding. "Don't like it, when other people touch my stuff!" The black-haired one smirked and leant down to kiss James again, but the brunette turned his head away._

_"I'm not yours," He whispered quietly with a hurtful voice._

_"Well, then I'm going to make you mine,"_

_Logan leant down to kiss James' exposed neck, his arms grabbed the younger's shoulders, because James began to squirm under him. "N-no...," The brunette breathed out desperately, trying to get away from Logan, but the smart one held him firmly._

_"Why not? You want it, Jamie! I can feel you're hard for me!" Logan mumbled against the smooth skin, before he scraped his teeth along the other's jawline. James wanted to say something, but when one Logan's hand sneaked down and squeezed him through his pants, he groaned. He bit embarrassed his lips and throw his head form side to side, making it hard for Logan._

_"See. You totally want it! And guess what... I want you!" Logan took James' face with both hands and smashed their lips together. He moved his against James', his tongue darting out to explore the others' mouth._

_James' arms were pressed on his side and he whimpered, when he accidentally streaked Logan's hard-on with the back of his hand. He felt how the smart one smiled against his lips, when the brunette jerked his hand away. When Logan pressed his thigh against James' groin, he lifted his hands and tried to push Logan away._

_Logan released the younger's lips with a 'pop' and stepped back, breathing heavily. James' cheeks were tinted in a deep shade of red, his swollen lips parted so he could suck in the needed air better. The smart one grinned satisfied, his eyes traveling down and stopped at James' bulge._

_James whimpered, before he looked up to Logan, meeting his dark eyes._

_"W-what... you want... to do?" He asked breathless, making Logan grin more._

_"Trust me, you'll like it," Logan said and stepped closer, his fingers fumbling with James' pants. He unbutton them and pulled the zipper slowly down, before he pushed the shorter's pants down together with his boxers. James' eyes widen, when Logan gave him one last glance before he lowered himself down._

_"Oh god...," James said when he realized what Logan was about to do._

_The black-haired one took the freed erection in his hand, when he faced it. He grinned and took the tip of James' cock carefully between his lips._

_James cursed under his breath, making Logan's own cock twitch in his pants. His tongue encircled the circumcised head and he started to suck slowly. The brunette moaned and his finger disappeared in the black locks, pulling slightly at them. Logan moved his head forwards, taking more of James in his mouth. He licked the hot flesh needy, sucking even harder. The brunette winced and Logan looked up to meet the cloudy hazel eyes._

_"P-please...," James whined hoarsely._

_Logan's finger cramped into the younger's snow-white thighs, while sucking harder. He took James' whole length in before he inverted the whole procedure until he released the cock again. He still locked eyes with James and smirked when he put his dick back beneath his lips, this time using teeth._

_James moaned at the view, Logan in front of him, taking his cock into his mouth and bobbing his head back and forth. He felt the other's tongue lick along his member and sucking, swallowing the precum, which leaked out of his tip._

_"Say my name!" Logan said after he released James' dick again and took him seconds later again into his mouth._

_"L-Logan!" James groaned, banging his head against the locker, the he watched again how Logan was sucking him off, because he just couldn't tear his eyes away from the other teen._

_"F-Fuck... LOGAN!" James screamed the last part, when Logan sucked again, this time harder and the brunette released himself into the black-haired one's mouth. Logan swallowed and continue licking until James' cock was soft again._

_He helped the younger boys to put his pants back on, before he stood up, placing both hands next to James' head. The brunette looked up in fear, but Logan just smiled down at him._

_"Wanna taste yourself?" The smart one pressed his lips on James and a moan escaped him, when James could tast the saltiness on Logan's lips._

_"So how did that feel?" Logan asked again, leaning back a little. His fingers started to play with the brown strands, before he looked James straight into the hazel eyes. James blushed and tried to look away, but his eyes were glued in Logan. The black-haired one smirked triumphantly, before he asked the next question, making James blush harder._

_"Want more?"_

* * *

><p>Logan waited until James came back. Carlos already asleep in one if the bunk beds, didn't want to wait with the smart one.<p>

Memories were flooding back to Logan, but he wished they wouldn't.

God, he was an asshole back then.

Logan closed his fingers around the warm coffee mug, staring at the bus door. He sat in the very front, where the kitchen was on one side and a little table on the other.

What kinds of interviews take four hours?

When Logan took a sip from his coffee the bus door finally opened. He had to stop himself from jump up and ran into the brunette's arms. He heard some talking outside and then James walked in.

He was surprised to find Logan waiting for him, but after the first shock, he smirked.

"Well well...," He peeled off his leather jacket (he had changed his clothes since the photo shoot) and threw it on the bench, which was on the opposite from Logan. "How can I help you?" He asked in a deep voice, making Logan shiver.

"I decided to go for it!" Logan said, watched every movement.

"Go for what?" James leant against the counter, steadying himself with his arms. Logan stood up and walked over to the taller brunette.

"For you little game, Jamie!"

The brunette's eyes widen and when Logan leant in to kiss him; he grabbed the short by the collar of his shirt, yanking him up.

"Listen up, Mitchell! This isn't a game! So don't even try to fuck with my mind, alright!" James hissed with a low voice, making Logan stare at him.

"Whh...?" Logan's airflow was cut by the other, so he couldn't speak clearly.

"Yeah, damn right! Don't turn your shit on me. You want to fuck me, huh?" James shoved Logan back, until he was pressed against the small table. The brunette cupped him through his jeans, feeling how hard Logan was.

"I tell you a little secret, Logan! This isn't about what you want! This time I'm the one, who makes the rules."

And with that he let go of Logan's shirt, giving him his air back, just to take it away again with a heated kiss. James rammed his tongue into Logan's mouth, grinding against his crotch.

"And in the end, you will begging me to touch you!" The brunette added when Logan tried to break free, but melting into James touch as the other kissed his neck, unbuttoning his plaid shirt like he did a few hours ago.

"Look at you. First you want to jump me, now you want to run away. Let me show you what real pleasure is, Logan! I bet no one ever fucked you like I'm going to do...,"

James' words made Logan harder and even he didn't want to, his body screamed after James and he let the brunette lift him onto the table, before he took his shirt completely off. A moan escaped the smart one's lips, when James palmed him roughly.

He wanted to say no, but he couldn't.

The need was too much to handle. He wanted James to touch him. God, he wanted him to fuck him senseless right now and here.

But he know that he shouldn't let him. He didn't want to give James the control over him, knowing how it will end. No, he couldn't let it come so far again. When he needed James like his air. When he was addicted to him.

He couldn't give him that control over him.

Despite everything Logan stayed quiet when James sealed their lips together and pushed him further back, standing between his legs now. He didn't say anything when James sucked at his collar bone. He just threw his head back and moaned loudly and aroused.

He just couldn't stop himself from giving James what he wanted.

* * *

><p><em>"Yes!" James nodded with wide eyes, forgetting all his doubts. He wanted to feel that again.<em>

_He wanted more._

_Logan laughed slightly, his brown eyes dancing around before he approached the brunette, who clung onto him immediately. When he allowed James to kiss him hungrily; Logan knew that the brunette was in his trap._

_He showed the brunette what he could have and now that he had licked blood, James was giving Logan everything what the smart one wanted._

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><p><strong>You reached the end... wow... thanks for reading I guess ;D<strong>

**I hope you liked it!**


	7. CHAPTER 07

**what is up, people?**

**I'll skip the talking and just let you read ;D**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 07: Regrets And Mistakes, They're Memories Made<strong>

The black-haired man groaned when the taller one roamed over his body with his warm hands. Soft fingertips teased him, outlining his slight defined abs until they reached his hipbones. The brunette slightly rubbed his thumbs over the visible bones, tracing the V-shape of the smart one's pelvis. James stopped when he reached the hem of Logan's pants and paused, looking down at the heavy breathing man under him. Logan arched his back and his chest raised up and down, glittering a little because of sweat. Then James placed both hands flat on the smart one's stomach before sliding them up slowly. He leaned down and sealed his lips gently with Logan's before he broke away again and looked down. The dark hazel eyes fell onto the black ink, which adorned the whole left side of Logan's chest. The tattoo showed a detailed dahlia and the brunette put his fingers on the drawn flower, smiling softly before he looked up into Logan's deep brown eyes. His fingertips caressed the tattooed skin, especially paying attention to the dark petals of the flower.

"What's the meaning of this?" James voice sounded weird and Logan crooked his head confused. He was so gently with him and normally his voice was soft and innocent. But now it was hoarsely and angry.

Logan blinked and suddenly his vision became blurred. He closed his eyes and opened them again to find himself in a total different scene. This James didn't touch him gently and lovingly. Instead he felt the brunette's finger cramped into his sides, leaving definitely bruises.

"What's the meaning of this?" James growled again and Logan stared up to him with wide, scary eyes. The brunette rocked against Logan's groin, the black-haired man's legs crossed behind James' back. James bit along Logan's collarbone; sucking at the sensitive skin and a quiet whimper escaped Logan's kiss swollen lips.

"What's the fucking meaning of you being such a pussy now, Logan?" James hissed and Logan's skin burned when the brunette slapped him across the face. Logan groaned, lifting his pelvis to meet James' hips desperately. He was so aroused and James' anger turned him on even more, so much that he forgot everything that was surrounding them.

James laughed quietly while he licked along the smart one's pulse point, making Logan scream out in desire. The longing was too strong and Logan felt how his pulsing cock started to swell even more. The urge for release hammered into his brain and if James didn't finish what he started then Logan would need to end it by himself.

And something told him that James didn't make the attempt to pleasure him. Panting heavily Logan reached down and unbuttoned his tight jeans by himself before awkwardly sliding them down to his thighs. His leaking erection sprung free and the black-haired man fisted it immediately. Under James' gaze Logan started to jerk himself off, not caring that the brunette didn't move a finger.

His whole body hurt, urging Logan to stroke himself frantically. His hand slid up and down his dick, and his back arched when he felt that his orgasm was near. He threw his head back; banging it against the table he was lying on and breathed in.

God, let it be over soon.

He closed his eyes and suddenly he felt two strong hands gripping his thighs, pulling him forwards. He bit down on his lower lip and the metallic taste of blood filled his dry mouth when his balls rubbed against the rough material of James' pants. The hand around his cock convulsed and then he finally came.

With a hiss, Logan sank his sweaty body back on the table where he laid flat, staring up toward the ceiling of the bus. Now he realized that the bus was moving and he could hear the engine. Logan still had his hand wrapped around his now soft cock and when he opened his fist he felt how his body tensed.

The brown eyes wandered from the bright light to the brunette, who still stood in front of Logan, looking down at him with a smirk. James reached behind him and untangled Logan's legs around his waist before he stepped back.

"How pathetic!" With the back of his hand, James whipped the milky substance from one of his cheeks before he brought said hand back to his lips. Never taking his dark hazel eyes off of Logan, who was staring up at the brunette, licked James along the back of his hand to taste Logan's cum.

The smart one swallowed and sent longing looks after James, who walked away without another word. Logan saw how James slid out of his shirt in a fluent movement, revealing a perfectly tanned back and strong shoulder blades. The brunette's shoulders were broad and finally Logan got a glimpse of James' muscular arms, but before he could take in the whole body, James was out of his view.

Logan ran his hand through his hair and groaned, banging his head against the table several times again.

Yeah, pathetic was the right word.

* * *

><p><em>Logan ran his hand through his black hair while driving. The teacher had interrupted James' and his little making out session and after a boring hour of detention he was finally free to go home.<em>

_The black-haired boy looked to the right and saw how James nervously kneaded his hands. The brunette missed the bus and Logan for sure offered him a ride. It was an awkward tension in the car and Logan suddenly regretted offering James a ride that quickly._

_What was he thinking? That he could fuck him easily in the backseat?_

_Logan tried to smile at James, but the nerdy boy stared straightforward, panic washed over his face. He realized that he was sitting in Logan Mitchell's car. And that couldn't end well._

"_So, which house is yours now?" Logan asked when he turned into James' street. The smart one was astonished when he realized that this was the affluent neighborhood of the town. It wasn't that his parents were exactly poor, but these mansions were seriously gigantic. He looked at James and thought that the brunette should be proud to show him that he was rich, but the boy had his head down and didn't care what Logan was thinking._

"_The one at the end of the street, with the driveway and the gate." James finally whispered quietly._

"_Wait… you live in the Diamond mansion?"_

"_Yeah… that's my last name! James "the Face" Diamond, duh?"_

"_Your parents are like the richest people in the town!"_

"_Maybe, don't care."_

"_Why in the hell do you let them bully you in school then?"_

"_Them? Since when aren't you one of the bullies anymore?"_

"_I…,"_

"_Look, I don't care, okay? You can let me out here!"_

"_James, I'm…,"_

"_I don't fucking care, Logan!" And with that James got out of the Mustang and slammed the door shut before he approached the gate, which opened automatically. Without a second glance James trudged toward the house and disappeared in the inside._

_Logan sighed and then he remembered that James was exactly like that when he first met him in the library. He said that he was distracted in class._

_The boy groaned._

_Wonderful, now I even could remember what this kid said to him. Like everything he ever said. Since when did he give a fuck about other people?_

_When Logan was about to drive home, his glance fell onto James' bag, which the brunette had forgot in the car. The black-haired one started the engine and drove in front of the gate. He rolled down the window and then a voice asked him what he wanted through the intercom._

"_Uhm… I'm a friend of James and he forgot his school bag in my car."_

_The gate opened and Logan was a little puzzled before he started to drive in front of the huge house. In the meantime, he tried to figure out why no one in school spoiled James like crazy? Normally the teachers went crazy after rich kids, hoping for donations or stuff. They could do anything and no one would care. Didn't they know that he was part of __the __Diamond family or what? Well, he didn't exactly act like a spoiled brat._

_Logan got out of his car and grabbed James' bag before he walked to the white door, which opened before he was even near it. A Spanish looking woman in a maid's uniform looked at him questionably. "Yes?"_

_But when Logan wanted to answer, he heard loud voices from inside the villa._

"_YEAH…. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR LITTLE SLUT AND MOVE OUT!"_

"_AAHH… THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, RIGHT? BUT GUESS WHAT, I WILL GET THE HOUSE!"_

"_HAA… IN YOUR DREAMS! MY LAWYER WILL PROVE THAT I'M THE ONE, WHO PAID FOR IT!"_

"_SURE, YOU AND YOUR STUPID LITTLE COSMETICS BUSINESS! I'M THE ONE, WHO BROUGHT THE MONEY HOME AND I'LL KEEP THE HOUSE!"_

_Logan raised his eyebrows and then he did something, which he can't explain. He just did it and he didn't know why!_

"_Can I see James, please?" The smart boy held the bag high and smiled at the maid, who looked carefully in the house before she nodded. "He's upstairs. Second door on the left!"_

"_Thanks!" Logan stepped in and looked around. The house was even fancier on the inside. Expensive paintings and golden mirrors hung around in the lobby. Stairs lead upstairs and open doors in other rooms, and when he continue walking, he walked by the living room, where two people stood and screamed insults at each other faces. Obviously they are James' parents, but they were too caught up in their fight that they didn't notice the visitor._

_When Logan arrived at the first floor, he already heard the loud music coming from one of the rooms. It didn't take long to find out which was James' room and skipping the knocking, because basically James wouldn't hear it anyway, Logan opened the door and entered the brunette's bedroom._

_James was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling and he didn't look over when Logan closed the door loudly._

"_Hey."_

_Only when he heard Logan's voice did he turn his head and stare at the black-haired boy in wonder. He grabbed the remote and turned down the volume before he sat up, still looking at Logan._

"_Uhm… you forgot your bag in the car and I thought…," Logan started but a high-pitched scream hushed him. He saw how James flinched and lowered his glance. "They're getting a divorce… I hope."_

_Logan approached the brunette, putting the bag in the ground before he sank down in front of James and watched him closely. "They fight a lot?"_

"_All the time."_

"_About you?"_

"_Hah… they don't give a damn about me. Their biggest problem is who gets the Picasso from the dining room. Normal parents fight about the reasons why they want a divorce. My father had an affair and my mother only cares that the divorce petition would keep her from flying to Hawaii for two weeks. She doesn't care that he doesn't love her anymore. She's just pissed at him that all this steals her time."_

"_That sucks."_

_James just looked at Logan and shrugged._

_The boy was broken and suddenly Logan felt bad for using him._

"_I'm pathetic, right?"_

"_No, you're…"_

"_You don't have to lie, Logan. I know it and I can't change it. I'm pathetic, my life is pathetic… no wonder you chose me…," James was cut off by Logan's lips. He was too puzzled to react at first but when Logan started to move his lips furiously against his and a hand crept up to run through the brown locks, James closed his eyes and returned the kiss._

_Logan put his other hand on James chest and pushed him gently backwards so the shorter boy was lying on his bed. Then Logan hovered over the other boy; their lips moving in sync until Logan won the dominance battle and James opened his mouth to let the black-haired boy's tongue in._

_James moaned in the kiss, when he felt Logan pull his hair and started to rub his lower half against the brunette. But then Logan stopped his movement and let himself slip; he gave James a sweet kiss before looking into the sad hazel eyes._

"_You're only pathetic until you decide that you are!"_

* * *

><p>You're only pathetic until you decide that you are.<p>

Fuck! His own words had betrayed him! Logan pressed his face deeper into his pillow and refused to get up. Last night was playing itself again and again in his head and he couldn't stop think about how weak he was. He wasn't strong enough to stand James' teasing. He wasn't even strong enough to push him away.

The black-haired man groaned and wanted nothing more than to forget.

He really was pathetic!

James managed to do what he could never do. Obviously, because then James would be the one, who wanted to jump him right now and here.

He never could tie James to him. The brunette had control over him the moment Logan looked into those damn hazel eyes.

Time just fucked with him.

James only needed to realize how to use his power and now that he did, he was paying Logan back what the smart one stole from him.

"Logan? You awake?" Carlos whispered and stood up on his tiptoes to peek into the upper bunk bed, which Logan was lying in. The black-haired one just muffled something into the pillow to show his friend that he was awake yet refused to get up. Logan just wanted to sleep the rest of his life; he wanted to keep himself out of James' sight.

"James's gone if that's the reason why you don't want to get up!"

Logan turned his head and squinted at his best friend with interest. "He's gone?"

"Well… not forever!" Carlos rolled his eyes. "We're in Vegas and he has some PR meetings with local TV channels. He left us breakfast and said that he will be back around noon, and then he has to prepare for the concert tonight. Ohhh… I'm so excited! He promised that we're gonna see every show! Awesome, right? Right, Logan?"

Carlos jumped up and down before he rushed to the kitchen area in the bus, probably starting to eat said breakfast. Unwillingly, Logan finally got up to keep Carlos company.

Even if he couldn't eat from _that _table.

Ohh, bloody hell…

"Dude, I had the weirdest dream last night."

… _will you bring sweet death now._

"Really?" Logan swallowed and looked up from his hands to see Carlos munching happily.

"Yep. Totally weird, buddy."

"Huh?"

"It was about bunnies and they... oh hey, James! How was the interview?"

Logan whirled around to see how James entered the bus, shaking his head so raindrops flew out of his hair. "The weather sucks, man!" The brunette peeled his wet coat off and threw it away.

Logan lowered his gaze and turned back to nip at his Starbucks paper cup, while Carlos started chatting with James and asking about the meetings. When James slid in next to Carlos, Logan strutted and tried to avoid eye contact with James.

He was blanking out everything the two others were talking about and didn't catch that James was suddenly speaking to him.

"So... Logan, what are you doing?" James asked with interest, looking in Logan's direction and it took Logan a few seconds to realize that James wanted an actual answer from him. He looked up and just stared at the brunette confused.

"Do you go to med school?" James asked again smiling, not caring that Logan was obviously pissed off now and refused to answer.

"Ohw... isn't that nice! He remembered that you want to become a doctor!" Carlos threw in, only getting a death glare from Logan as response.

"I know right. He totally should appreciate that!" The brunette now turned to the Latino and threw his hands in the air.

"I know I would!" Carlos replied grinning.

Logan snorted loudly, staring at his best friend, an unbelieving expression on his face. "Why don't you fuck him then?"

"Logan, Logan, Logan. Dude, did you forget about the bro-code? No dating ex girlfriends… I think that also counts for boyfriends. So, I'm not allowed to... sorry!"

"Oh… you have my permission, Carlos! Please, go ahead!"

"You're really hurting me, Logan. By denying me!" James said exaggerate and clung on his chest dramatically, which made Logan roll his eyes. "Ohw... screw you!"

"So... you never answered my question! Are you in med school? Becoming a smoking hot doctor?"

Logan stood quiet, testing the brunette with his eyes. "You... really remembered?"

"Of course! How could I forget that one time you forced me into playi...!"

"Shut your mouth, Diamond!"

James snickered, making Logan blush at the memory, which crept back into Logan head. He really did force James into role-playing back then. But only, when he was really, **really **horny!

When James didn't stop the giggling, Logan glared at him. "Yeah... like your kinks were any better!"

The pop star raised an eyebrow at him and smirked amused. "My kinks? Can't remember you ever asked what my kinks were?"

That made Logan shut up. Because, well… it was true.

Their 'relationship' wasn't really democratic. Logan never asked what James wanted. It was always him who made the decision. He texted James and James came. Then he said what James had to do and James did it. The brunette never complained and played along always. Logan never cared if he was the only one who got turned on by whatever they did. Well, you also never could say, that James wasn't turned on, but they were teenagers, shouldn't they be turned on like all the time?

"Ahh... come on! Don't you remember that day you could wish for something?"

"You mean... my birthday?"

Logan could hear Carlos giggle. The Latino followed the conversation between the two men interested. Like a puppy he looked at James and then at Logan. Then he turned back to James, then to Logan again. It was just hilarious to watch them argue with each other.

"Yes! I let you decide!"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Logan? You told me, you want to have sex in the car or in a hot tub. And then you said, I could choose!"

"Yeah... and you chose the car. Sooo... kink of yours!"

"You're unbelievable!"

"Now is it a kink of yours or not?"

"I... no, it wasn't!"

"Okay, let me formulate the question again! Did it become a kink of yours **after **it?"

James smirked. "Yes!"

And Logan could smack himself in the face. Wonderful! Now he had images in his head, which he didn't want to have and suddenly he realized that this was James' plan all along. He just wanted to make him imagine about hot things, which involved him. The memory about this, really turned Logan on, but the imagination to do it again with **this **James, it just was mind blowing.

And Logan couldn't stand it, so he jumped up and rushed back to the bunk beds.

First last night and now that! He would go insane at the end of the week. James arranged all of that to definitely kill him. Ignoring the growing bulge in his pants, Logan threw himself in the bunk bed and pressed his face into the pillow.

Just sleep the rest of his fucking life away. That's all he wanted right now.

* * *

><p><em>James squirmed under Logan when the black-haired boy tugged at his shirt, pulling it out of his pants. Logan's other hand stroked the brown locks while the other was creeping under the brunette's shirt caressing the creamy skin. Logan felt James touching his bare back and the shorter one's hands were soft whereas his were rough and chapped from playing ice hockey.<em>

_The brunette hummed when Logan kissed him again on the lips before he covered James's neck with hot kisses. He licked along the pulse point, biting down a little before he craned his head and nipped at James' earlobe._

"_Fuck… __**Logan**__!"_

_Logan grinned at how easily James warmed up with the swearing. He crawled back and sealed their lips again, moving his tongue sweetly against James'. His fingertips ghosted over James' skin, making the brunette dig his nails deeper into Logan's back. Good thing he got rid of his shirt during their making out session._

_James smiled at the boy, who made him forgot about his parents, with bright eyes. Maybe Logan wanted more from him than just sex. Maybe…_

_A knock on the door made Logan look up but instead of letting go of James, he pressed the brunette further into the mattress, waiting until the door opened._

"_James, tell your father he can go to hell! And that he can take the ugly tea service, which was a wedding gift from __**his**__ mother, with him!"_

"_I…," James said, blushing hard, but it looked like his mother didn't care that a half-naked stranger was straddling her son. Logan raised an eyebrow at the woman, who didn't take notice of him._

"_Wonderful, Bryan… your parenting sucked all the way! Your son's gay now!" Mrs. Diamond screamed out of James' room before stomping away, leaving James' door open. Soon the two boys heard more screaming._

_Logan bit his lips and looked down at James, who turned his head away from the other boy, trying to hold back the sobbing. "I hate them."_

"_It's okay! Come on, I'm taking you out!"_

"_Where?"_

"_Anywhere away from them?"_

"_Well... o-okay... I guess.__"_

"_Thought so." Logan smiled and bent down to give James a gentle kiss. "Let's go!"_

_James got up with Logan's help and while the smart one put his shirt back on, his gaze wandered to the flustered brunette._

_It was almost sad how easily the trap snapped shut around James._

* * *

><p>Logan didn't sleep the rest of his life; actually he just slept about 20 minutes but it was enough for Carlos and James to become best buds.<p>

"… and then he got kicked out of med school." Logan heard Carlos say and the black-haired one turned around in his bed to go back to sleep but he also kept listening to James and Carlos.

"He got kicked out of med school?" The brunette sounded seriously surprised.

"Yeah… it's a long story and he didn't tell me everything. I think it had to do with Kyle. He's the son of the principal and kinda stalked Logan until Logan eventually gave in a few times, but then it got complicated, I dunno. I know Logan for 6 years now and he was never in a serious relationship. Weird, right?"

"Yeah… sure."

"And then his parents! They abandoned him just like that even though I thought they were nice people. Logan said that his father can't stand the thought of him being gay, that he actually arranged an engagement with some woman called Camille, I think… I don't know her… anyways his parents kicked him out and he moved out here, where we met when he applied for a job in the coffee shop. At first he had a scholarship for the med school but then they cut it and finally they kicked him out. Now he just works here and there, he doesn't really have a plan, even though he won't admit it."

"He's too proud for it!" Logan could hear the smile in James' voice and it puzzled him for a moment. But James' next words made him froze in place. "Wait… he moved out to California? Did he ever tell you why?"

"Nope… I thought it was because of school."

"He's smart. He was even accepted to Harvard, Yale and all the other fancy universities. Why would he want to come to California?"

"I don't know much about Logan's past. You're the first person, who knew him before I met him. He was different at the beginning, closer, actually really shy. Did he tell you that he wanted to go to California or what?"

"No, he never wanted that. It was my dream actually!"

"Really? That's cool, I'm sure he was excited to see you again. Maybe he hoped that you guys would meet again!"

"Yeah… maybe…,"

"He's a nice guy and a really good friend and believe me, the Logan from your high school and the one over there are two different people. I don't know what he did to you, but his life is fucked up enough."

Logan closed his eyes and tried to keep his voice low because the Latino's words made his eyes water and his chest trembled. He wanted to sob but then the others would hear him and then they would know that he had listened to their conversation.

"I'm sorry, Carlos, but you really don't know everything!"

"Just sayin'. You can't break something, which is already broken, James."


	8. CHAPTER 08

**Welcome back to a new chapter... yaay : )**

**March 10th... omfg... I'm sooo excited, even I'm sitting in Germany right now... live stream tonight! IT WILL BE FUCKING AWESOME!**

**Seriously... I'm freaking out right now... **

**Soo... here's the new chapter... hope you guys like it... contains sex by the way ; )**

* * *

><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 08: Who Would Have Known How Bittersweet This Would Taste?<strong>

_Logan sighed and stared at the dark ceiling. He didn't know how late it was; just that it was in the middle of the night and that he couldn't sleep._

_Replaying the afternoon he spent with James, he closed his eyes and immediately the brunette took over his mind. They went out to grab something to eat before they actually went to a bookstore and spent over an hour there, goofing around. Logan was grateful that he really could distract James._

_But somewhere it was just sad. They left the house without telling anyone and the whole four hours they were gone no one tried to call James and ask where he was. It wasn't like James was the type, who left the house often. Logan knew if his parents were home they would check on him. Well, if… it wasn't like they were around that often as well._

_His parents didn't go through a divorce but sometimes it felt like they would. Just that Logan was the one from whom they got a divorce._

_The smart one sighed again deeply before he turned around, searching for a new sleeping position. He was alone tonight, too. First it was really cool to have the house alone to yourself but with time it was just depressing, even if Kendall came over a lot._

_The boy closed his eyes, listening to his own breathing._

_Logan flinched when he suddenly heard the doorbell ring. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before he got up to leave his room and walk downstairs._

_Who the fuck wants something from him at 3am in the morning?_

_The black-haired boy rubbed his eyes and yawned then he approached the front door and started to unlock it. When he opened the door, he froze surprisingly because in front of him stood the last person he expected._

_"James?" Logan was taken aback and stared at the brunette, who stood there barefooted, only wearing sweatpants and a shirt. The shorter boy had his arms slung around himself to keep him warm from the cold wind. The beautiful hazel eyes were glassy and his cheeks tinted in a dark red. He had definitely cried._

_"L-Logan…," James' voice trembled because of the icy coldness. "I'm… c-can… y-ou m-make… it… g-go a-away… p-please?"_

_"Come on! You must be freezing! What were you thinking? Did… James… did you walk?"_

_The brunette didn't answer, instead he stepped inside and before Logan could react James slung his arms around him and was pressing his head against Logan's heated chest. The smart one sighed and closed the door as good as he could before he embraced James, rubbing along his arms to warm the other boy. He could smell the freshness of the night in James' hair and the cold skin of the brunette gave him chills._

_"Do you want to drink something? Like tea or coffee? Water?"_

_"N-no… I'm good."_

_"Well, let's go to my room, get you a blanket… or maybe a hoodie and socks…," Logan said and guided the shaking boy upstairs and into his room. He sat James down on his bed and bent down to pull up his blanket and put it around James's shoulder, wrapping the thick fabric around the brunette._

_"What happened?" Logan crouched down in front of James like he did this afternoon when he came to his house. He put a hand on James' knee and tried to look the shorter boy in the eye, but the light was off and his room was still dark except for the moonlight, which shone through his window and enlightened the room just enough to see a little._

_But instead of an answer Logan was pushed back so he fell on his back and was lying flat on his floor when James crawled over him and kissed him furiously. The smart one's eyes widen in surprise when he felt James take his wrists and pull them eagerly in the direction of his groin. "Please Logan… please… distract me!"_

_Logan didn't need another invitation when he turned them so James was lying on the ground and Logan was the one, who pinned the brunette down to the floor before he deepened the kiss unasked._

_"Please… Logan…,"_

_The black-haired boy could feel James' full erection pressing against his thigh and he groaned into the other's mouth needy. James chanted still breathless pleadings during the heated kisses the two teenagers were sharing, grinding up against Logan's own semi-hard erection._

_"Beg, James, and I will give you what you want!"_

* * *

><p>Logan fell asleep again and even missed the concert but Carlos didn't have the heart to wake him up and considering that they will have the chance to see all the other concerts then it wasn't such a big loss. But when the smart one woke up alone in the dark bus, he was confused and disoriented.<p>

But then he got reminded why he even woke up in the first place. The massive boner made it pretty clear for Logan and the young man groaned in frustration. Why does karma hate him so much?

Since the little table incident James was on his mind 24/7. And this was bad.

_Very bad._

Since James gave the term "sexual frustration" a new meaning. Logan didn't know what he should hate more, all the dreams about their past or the dreams about their future. The maybe-dreams, in which James could do…

Logan groaned when his hand sneaked down and beneath the waistband of his briefs. It was like he could feel the heated skin of the brunette, the taste of his lips, the feeling when his breaths ghosted over Logan's own flustered skin. He could feel the strong hands roam all over him.

The black-haired one stroke himself while closing his eyes and throwing his head back into the pillow. No, that's not right, so not right and still… it felt so_ good._

"… h-hate… you…. J-Ja… **James**_…,"_

Logan froze in place when he felt warm fingers wrapping around his wrist and pulling his hand out of his underwear.

What the…?

The smart one opened his eyes wide with a jerk.

James was standing next to his bunk, smirking down at him while one of his hands was still under the blanket. Logan pulled his hand out of James' grip, making the brunette grin even harder.

He was about to say something – something like fuck off – when he felt James' fingers caressing the exposed skin above the waistband. Logan's mouth was agape; the words were stuck in his throat. He panted when James ran his fingers over Logan's clothed cock.

"How was your little nap? Did you have sweet dreams?" James chuckled while he still teased Logan under the blanket, making the smart one go insane.

"P-Please…,"

"Excuse me? What?"

"Hey James, is Logan still asleep?" Logan eyes widen when he heard Carlos's voice and he squirmed under James.

"Yeah… hey, Carlos, would you mind going to get something to eat? Saw a Taco Bell down the road." James smirked and turned his head, shifting a little so Carlos couldn't see that one of his hands was in Logan's bed. The black-haired one closed his eyes again and tried not to shake too much or scream out loud.

"Sure. I'm starving. Be right back, maybe you can wake up Logan. I bet he's hungry, too."

"I will try my best!"

Carlos left the bus and Logan took that as a bad sign. He and James alone in the bus while James caught him jerking off to him. The brunette smirked down at Logan and ran his finger over Logan's erection, making the black-haired man whimper in frustration.

"What's the matter, Logan? Can't you cum?"

Logan threw his head back, biting down so hard on his lower lip that he could taste the blood in his mouth.

"FUCK!" The smart one bucked his hips, meeting James hand but the brunette pulled it away at the same time. That was when Logan couldn't take it any longer; he actually slapped James' hand away so he could reach into his briefs, pulling them down so he could stroke himself franticly. He felt the knots in his stomach and he knew he was close, but he just couldn't cum.

Logan though he had to explode, his head throbbed more than his dick and he kinda suffocated on his own salvia. He panted and his hand actually started to hurt, everything hurt. He rubbed the head of his cock, the precum made it slippery and it didn't matter how often or hard Logan thumbed his slit, the release just didn't come.

He felt warm air streaking his sweaty cheek and then he heard James' voice whispering the words, which Logan knew he would hear sooner or later.

"Guess what, babe… all you have to do is just beg."

* * *

><p><em>James trembled when Logan licked along his jaw line while he palmed the brunette through his sweatpants. The shorter one was shirtless; Logan had ripped his shirt apart a few moments ago. They still were on the floor and currently Logan's hand slid into James' pants, grabbing onto his dick.<em>

_James moaned at the skin contact, bucking his hips up. "Please, Logan… fuck me."_

_Logan raised an eyebrow at the shorter one confused. "Excuse me?"_

_"Isn't that what you want from me? Come on, go ahead, just fucking take me already."_

_"I told y…"_

_"I'm fucking begging you to fuck me!" James hollered making Logan smirk. Well, that's all he wanted to know. He pulled James' sweatpants down so James could kick them off before Logan crashed his lips onto James', ramming his tongue into the other's mouth to explore every inch of it._

_"P-please…" James groaned into Logan's mouth, squirming desperately under the other teen._

_Logan reached up to tap James' swollen lips with his index finger. "Wet'em."_

_James parted his lips and twirled his tongue around Logan's finger while the black-haired one sucked at James' nibble, twirling his tongue around it._

_"Now turn around! Bend over my bed!" Logan commanded and James did what he was told. The shorter boy turned around, leaning over the edge of Logan's bed when he felt the other's hand traveling down his spine. Logan's hand stopped at the curve of James' ass before he dug his nails into the cheeks, spreading them a little._

_James wanted to say something but his words got stuck in his throat when he felt the wet finger rub against his entrance. Logan leaned down to bite into James' soft skin when he inserted one finger. James jerked at the feeling, knowing now why everyone was talking about how much it hurt._

_"You have to relax or it will really hurt."_

_"Don't you have lube or something?" James panted, burying his head in Logan's sheets. When he breathed in his head twanged when he inhaled Logan's scent. He felt how his cock twitched, maybe it was also because he was pressed against Logan' wooden bedstead._

_Logan chuckled before he pulled his finger out of James, then he went to his dresser to get a small bottle of lube and a condom. He squeezed some of the cool liquid onto his fingers, and then he tossed the bottle away to line himself behind James again pushing two fingers inside the brunette without warning. James cried out, half in pain, half in pleasure and when Logan started to move his fingers he couldn't help it._

_He felt his cum on his sweaty stomach before he turned his head to look at Logan, who rolled his eyes annoyed. "Turn around, I'll make you hard again."_

_James gave Logan a confused look and didn't move immediately, so Logan grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back. Before James could say anything he felt how Logan licked over his stomach, traveling southerly with each lick._

_The smart one took James' soft cock in his mouth and licked it clean from the sperm, feeling that James hardened again. He sucked the head of the cock one last time hard before he released it to crawl over James. He kissed the brunette hard before he whispered into his ear hoarsely. "Now bend over this fucking bed again."_

_James nodded and did what he was told. Logan smirked at the brunette. "Good boy." He positioned his finger again at James' hole and pushed them in. When he found James' prostate he tapped a few times against it and elicited James high-pitched screams._

_When he scissor the virgin hole open enough he pulled his fingers out of James to pull down his own pajama pants. He grabbed a tiny quadratic package to tear it open with his teeth. While rolling on the condom Logan lined himself behind James. Logan smirked at the brunette, who tried eagerly to look around to catch a glimpse of Logan's cock. He was too caught up in that, so it took him by surprise when Logan pushed his dick inside of James._

_James' mouth opened but no sound came past his lips._

_Logan didn't move at first, waiting for James, who was pretty pale, to give him a sign or at least breath again. When the brunette slowly nodded, Logan pushed a little forward making the younger boy scream out in pleasure. Logan pulled his cock out of James' tight hole again before he snapped his hips forwards again._

_"__**LOGAN**__!"_

_Logan groaned when James squeezed tight around his cock. "Fuck. So fucking tight." The smart one grunted, thrusting in and out of James's hot and stretched hole._

_"P-please… Lo-gan… f-fuck me… har…der!" James breathed while Logan rammed him against the bed, creating a friction with each thrust. Logan clawed his fingers into James' sweaty sides pulling the smaller boy forward. Their skin slapped together every time Logan buried himself deeper in James._

_Abusing the brunette's prostate Logan could feel that he was close. He stared down at James, who arched his back in pleasure, the brown locks matted to his forehead. One more thrust in the tight warmth and Logan filled the shorter boy with his cum, moaning out his name._

_James came shortly after Logan and both boys, sweaty and breathless, stayed like that for a few minutes. Logan leaning against James' back for support, his fingertips gazing over the other's spine. It gave James chills and the brunette hummed in comfort._

_But when Logan carefully pulled his dick out of James, the shorter boy hissed at the pain it caused. He felt lips on his shoulder blades and then Logan stood up, pulling the brunette with him._

_"Ohw…" James's legs hurt and he couldn't stand, so he staggered against Logan, who caught him easily. "It hurts the first time but it gets better with time, trust me."_

_The brunette nodded before Logan guided him to his bed. "You should sleep now."_

_The worn out boy nodded again before he laid down in the bed, falling asleep in an instant. Logan watched the sleeping boy before he reached out to pull the sheets over him. He sighed and walked over to his bathroom so he could clean himself._

_Even if he wanted, he couldn't keep James company in the warm bed._

* * *

><p>"Y-You are… a fucking… b-bastard!" Logan whispered while he stared into James' amused hazel eyes.<p>

"And your balls are turning blue!" James smirked and crooked his head while he folded Logan's thin sheets back so the other's leaking cock was exposed to the pop star.

"I… r-rather die with blue… balls … than… beg… for it…," Logan closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing, which was rapid and fast.

The brunette chuckled at Logan's word. "Sure… what else would Logan Mitchell do? I wondered when you would grow a pair again. I fucking _love _your cockiness." James hummed and brushed his lips against Logan's sweaty cheek, licking the corner of his lips.

"P-please…," Logan whimpered. "M-Make it go a-away."

James groaned, leaning his forehead against Logan before he reached down to grab Logan's cock. It just needed a few strokes but James' warm and strong hand was everything it needed to make Logan cum.

Logan's heart was racing and he slumped back in his bed, not understanding what had just happened.

"Too bad…," James said but Logan stared at the ceiling not daring to look at James. "For one fucking second I thought the old Logan was back. Looks like I was wrong."

The smart one heard how the brunette walked away and then he sighed.

Fuck his life.

* * *

><p><em>The next morning Logan left before James woke up, leaving the brunette alone in an unknown house only with the note to close the door behind him before he left the house.<em>

_Logan thought that it was pretty nice and so he didn't mind that James wasn't able to show up for the first period._

_Kendall didn't know what was going on with his friend and only when he saw James walk awkwardly into the cafeteria during lunch and tried to sit down even more awkwardly, it hit him._

_"Fuck Logan!" The blond yelled, shutting up all of his friends. They stared at Kendall confused and Logan was the only one, who continued eating. "Don't get an orgasm here, we are trying to eat!"_

_"Logan!" Kendall hissed and pulled his best friend up to drag him out of the cafeteria._

_"The fuck, Kendall?" Logan growled when they were standing in the empty hallway._

_"That's what I should ask you, Logan! What the fuck were you thinking while fucking that Diamond kid?"_

_Logan looked at Kendall puzzled._

_"That kid can barely walk, dick! What were you thinking?"_

_"Since when do you care about James?"_

_"I don't give a fuck about Diamond! I care about you. Logan, what if he tells someone? What if your parents find out?"_

_"They'll never… okay… just drop it, Kendall. I know what I'm doing!"_

_"No, you don't!"_

_"But you do? It's not like you're the one fucking guys secretly behind everyone's back!"_

_"I'm…" Kendall stopped talking and just stared at the black-haired one before he sighed. "Whatever." He lowered his head and walked back into the cafeteria._

_"What the?" Logan groaned and pulled his hair. What the fuck was his problem?_

_"Logan?"_

_The smart one looked up when he heard the small voice. James stood a few feet away from him, looking confused at the older boy._

_"What do you want?" Logan hissed at the brunette, who winced at the tone._

_"I don't care." James said before he stepped forwards. "You can use me… please!"_

_Logan looked at the boy and his gaze landed on James' groin. A visible bulge made Logan raise his eyebrows._

_"So you wouldn't mind if I dragged you into the boy's restroom to fuck you against the stall?"_

_James didn't answer and so found Logan and himself 5 minutes later in one of the restrooms, pants around his ankles, while he fucked James against the wall. The brunette had his legs slung around Logan's waist and his head thrown back, mouth agape. He panted when Logan pounded into him merciless, releasing his anger._

_It didn't take long for both boys to cum and when they were dressed and cleaned up again, Logan gave James his cell phone._

_"Put your number in. I'll text you when I need you!"_

_James nodded with flustered cheeks while he pressed the correct digits. The smart one smiled at the shorter one, who gave him his phone back eagerly, before he leaned down to brush his lips against James's ear, hot breath streaking the brunette._

_"From all the guys I fucked, you are definitely my favorite."_

* * *

><p>"Dude, being a VIP is <em>sooo<em> cool." Carlos raved before he took a bite from his taco. Logan sat frowning next to the Latino.

He didn't want to eat with him. And _James._

But Carlos didn't understand a "No." and so he bugged Logan until the smart one gave in and got out of his bunk to join them for dinner. Thank goodness that he had cleaned everything up before Carlos returned to the bus.

And James just sat there, smirking his damn smile while he listened to Carlos, who praised him like some fucking Greek god.

"And dude, you're dressing room is amazing! And the catering… holy shit!" Carlos went on and on and Logan was wondering if his dream of being a superhero now was replaced by wanting to be a rock star.

"The crowd was amazing tonight! Too bad, Logan…," James looked up and smirked. "… that you couldn't attend the concert!"

"Oh… he will tomorrow!" Carlos threw in and Logan wanted nothing more at the moment than to choke that little fucker. He stared at his best friend and shook his head unbelieving. He was stabbed in the back!

So Logan just grimaced at both of the men and continued eating his taco, even though he wasn't really hungry. He just wanted to go back to sleep again. Well, actually he just wanted to get away from James.

When James' phone vibrated and signaled that he had a new text Logan looked up to see that the brunette stared at the screen before he looked up to meet Logan's eyes. "Kendall says he can't wait to see us!"

Logan's jaw dropped. "K-Kendall?"

"Yep, told him we're gonna be in Minnesota soon." James bit into his taco and smiled. "Isn't that exciting?"

Logan just continued to stare at the pop star, not believing that James actually told Kendall about their coming.

"You talked to Kendall?" Carlos, who finished eating a long time ago, asked interested wondering why the brunette would have Kendall's number. He knew that not even Logan had Kendall' actual number in his contacts. But James had?

This made Logan peek up again. Yeah, what the fuck had James to do with Kendall?

"Yeah, we met a few times at these celebrity party's."

"Kendall's a celebrity?" Carlos was confused. He looked at Logan puzzled, who felt kinda guilty that he hadn't told Carlos' everything about his former best friend. Like everything about his past had Logan told only the bare necessities.

"Well…," The smart one said carefully. "Maybe I forgot to mention that he played for the Minnesota Wild!"

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

Carlos' outburst made the two other ones freeze in place and stare at the Latino. James' eyes were wide and Logan was agape again while Carlos couldn't believe what he just heard.

"So I guess you're a Wild fan?" James asked before he whipped his hands with a napkin, glancing sideways at Carlos.

"What?" Carlos said and stared at James offended. "No!"

The brunette raised an eyebrow at Carlos puzzled. "Why did you freak out then?"

"He cost the Kings the championship! Oh god, Logan… you mean the _Kendall Knight_ was your best friend?" Carlos asked upset, making James giggle next to him while Logan continued staring at his best friend.

"Well… looks like the two of them won't hit it off well!" James stated and collected all the trash before he threw it away, smirking amused.

"Dude, even if he played like a god, there's _no way_ I would forgive him for that!" Carlos crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted.

"Well, if it makes you happy then I can promise you that he won't do it again!" James said, staring at his phone.

"What?" Carlos asked and Logan looked at James, too.

"You didn't hear? He got into a fight and injured his arm. There's no way he will play this season again."

"He got into a fight?" Logan asked before he looked down at his hands.

"That surprises you?" James laughed quietly. "Knight had the fire in him. That little fucker never avoided a good fight."

"He never did…" Logan began, but trailed of, staring at James. "Wait, what do you mean?"

James laughed again, this time louder. "You don't know, do you?" James got up and straightened his clothes before he leaned down to face Logan, hot breath streaking the smart one's cheek.

"What should I know?" Logan turned his head and stared at James.

"Well… your Kendall came to me one day, begging me to meet him."

"And?"

"You remember Juan?"

Logan stared blankly at James, guilt washed over the smart one and he avoided James' look.

"He was the one, who made sure that I was there when you two fought."

"He would have never done that to me!" Logan shouted outraged.

"Looks like your dear Kendall never was perfect."

"Shut up!"

"I'll never forgive you, Logan."

Logan froze. "What?"

"You heard me."

James brushed his lips against Logan's, pecking him slightly, while Logan closed his eyes and sighed. "Good night!" James slurred, smiling at Carlos before he walked in the back of the bus.

Carlos looked at Logan, who tried to catch his breath. "What was that about?"

"I… I cheated on him."

Carlos raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"I cheated on James with a guy named Juan. He was an exchange student from Spain and the first one, who actually started to flirt with me. I always forced myself on the other guys, but he was the first, who was proactive. He was the one, who I wanted to make my boyfriend, but Kendall held me back, telling me that it was wrong and that I had James. I said that I never wanted James as my boyfriend, that I just wanted to fuck him and well… James heard that."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope."

"And then? What did you do?"

"Well, I never apologized. I… I went to James that night and seduced him again. When I woke up the next day, he was gone. And I mean literally. He moved away with his dad."

"Wow. You really were an asshole!"

"Thanks, Litos." The black-haired one said sarcastically and frowned and rubbed his face frustrated, throwing his head back. Yes, he was an asshole back then.

"But you changed, so it kinda makes up for it!" Carlos added and smiled warmly at his best friend.

"Hope so." Logan mumbled while his thoughts were drifting off. "I hope so, Carlos."

"So... what does that mean now? That James is like that to you, because you betrayed him?"

"I have no idea, Carlos. Seriously, I can't explain it."

But Logan could hear the words, which James never spoke out loud. It was like a fucking echo, repeating everything Logan has ever said to the brunette. And yes, he literally could hear him saying them.

'From all the guys I fucked, you are the one I hate the most.'


	9. CHAPTER 09

**Wow, okay... I have to admit... it have been a while! And I'm really sorry because I knew that you all like this story so much and I focus more on my other stories and yeah... I'm really sorry. I found back to this one and will continue it now!**

**Thank you so much for all the alerts and reviews and faves. I get them even when I didn't update for a long time, so I'm really happy to get the messages. Thank you so much!**

**I kind of won't mention it again that this is now rated M. I think it's clear now XD**

**Hope I will get the next chapter up soon! But until then enjoy this one... it's kinda weird I guess and confusing but that's what it is. Haha... let me know what you think!**

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 09: You Know How The Time Flies<strong>

_"You have to hold still, James." Logan said breathless, while he grabbed the shorter boy's hips to adjust them right._

_"What if someone catches us?" James sounded worried and Logan rolled his eyes at the brunette._

_"They're all gone by now. We're the only ones here."_

_"But…," James started but was cut off by the other boy._

_"Arg… can't you just shut up for a moment? See it as an experiment, okay?"_

_"How?" The brunette sounded desperate and Logan had to calm himself down so he wouldn't scream at James._

_"Well… doesn't it turn you on that any minute someone could walk in on us?"_

_"WHAT? You said you locked the door! Logan~,"_

_"James, shut up and let me fuck you, god… you're such a girl."_

_"… I'm not."_

_"Well, then prove it!"_

_James was quiet after that and Logan, who was finished with stretching him by now, pressed him up against the shower wall, sliding into the shorter boy with a moan. He was still sweaty from hockey practice and it was so easy to smuggle James into the locker room._

_"Logan…," The brunette groaned when Logan snapped his hips back and forth, fucking James against the cold tiles. The water crackled down onto the two boys, but neither of them seemed to care._

_It was only a month since James showed up in the middle of the night in front of Logan's door, but it felt so much longer. Hardly one day passed by, without a call or a text from Logan. And James came over every time._

_After the first week Kendall was used to eating lunch alone and telling everyone to avoid the boy's restroom in the science wing. It was just for the best._

_They also spent the nights together, sometimes the afternoons when Logan didn't have practice._

_But this month was enough for Logan to learn what James needed. He could make the younger boy go insane within seconds and he also could retard the time they spent together. And James was getting used to it._

_He was addicted to be right. Couldn't wait for Logan to begin._

_But Logan never was gentle. James never felt loved by the black-haired one but now he had reached a point where he didn't care._

_He just wanted Logan to fuck him._

_Okay, maybe not in the shower of the boy's locker room, but anyways. He just wanted Logan so bad._

_That's why he let Logan have his way with him._

_The brunette could feel his orgasm arriving and he was kinda proud of himself that he didn't come so quickly anymore. Just to feel Logan inside of him and when he was filled with hot cum made him climax as well._

_Logan pressed himself against the flustered body, nipping at James' shoulder while he reached out to turn the water off._

_"You're getting better!" Logan said hoarsely, licking over the wet skin. James, who was still pressed against the wall turned is head and smiled exhausted._

_"Everything you want, Logan."_

_Then the boys got out of the shower, wrapping towels around their waists while they walked back into the locker room to change. James was the first, who stopped in his tracks and froze in place, cheeks tinted in a dark red. Logan gave him a puzzled look before he followed James' gaze._

_"Oh…," Logan said quietly while he stared at the other person, who was there._

_The Latin boy, who sat on one of the benches, which were between the lockers, looked up at the sound and smiled brightly at the two teens. "Hello." His gaze wandered unashamed over the two half-naked boys, making Logan raise his eyebrows._

_"Who are you?" He asked the stranger, because he never saw him before. He didn't attend this high school._

_"Oh… I'm sorry. My name is Juan. I'm the new Spanish exchange student!"_

_"Well… hi. So, what are you doing here? You're not allowed to be here." Logan stated coldly, while James tried to cover himself up._

_Juan smiled warmly at the black-haired one. "Really? Kendall told me I should wait in here."_

_"Kendall told you that?"_

_"Yes, he's in my Spanish class and Mr. Sanchez asked him to give me a tour, including the ice rink. Kendall said he wanted to show me how to skate."_

_"What… wait, I'm in Kendall's Spanish class, too."_

_"Really? Didn't see you this morning. When I introduced myself." Juan crooked his head confused._

_Logan didn't answer and suddenly his brain was working. Where was he? Only when he felt James tug at his hand, the memory came back. Sure, James had stayed the night and they were too busy this morning to get up. He had skipped the first period._

_But why didn't Kendall tell him at lunch, because today was one of those rare days, where Logan spent the lunch break in the cafeteria, only because one of James' teacher wanted to talk to the brunette._

_"Well… then. Have fun. Come on, James. Get dressed, you have to be at the court in 20 minutes."_

_"Ohh… yeah. Right." James stuttered and began to dress, still embarrassed. Logan was completely dressed before James was and waited impatiently when he heard a door open._

_"Juan?" Kendall called after the Spanish boy, who immediately answered Kendall, which made Logan roll his eyes._

_"Kendall, I'm here."_

_"I'm sorry, I was talking to… Logan?" Kendall stopped when he entered the locker room, staring at his best friend, who grinned smugly at him._

_"Hi Kendall."_

_"Okay, I'm ready!" James was jumping up and now Kendall' gaze wandered to the brunette before he raised his eyebrows in knowing. Maybe this Juan didn't know what Logan and James did in the shower but Kendall sure as hell did._

_"Then let's go!" Logan slid his arm around James, who blushed deeply, before he guided the brunette out of the locker room but not without giving Kendall and Juan a last amused glance._

_"Oh my god. Do you think he saw us? Or maybe he heard us? We were pretty loud…," James ranted while they walked over to the black Mustang._

_"Chillax, it doesn't matter, even if he heard or saw us. Who cares?" Logan said while he slid into the driver's seat. James got in the car as well and stayed quiet, still embarrassed about the situation._

_Logan started the car and drove from the school parking lot in the direction of the court. They stayed quiet for a while before the black-haired one looked over to see that James staring out of the window._

_"You still worried about that boy?" Logan asked and gave the brunette a confused side-glance._

_"No… it's just today." James said quietly and leaned his forehead against the car window. He sighed before he turned his head and watched Logan while he was driving._

_"What is today's trial about?" The smart one asked then, trying to make James speak to him. He had driven the brunette lately about five times to the court because his parents fought about everything but him._

_Shouldn't he be the first thing they wanted to keep?_

_"I don't know… some paintings again, maybe the house this time or the cars."_

_"That sucks." Logan said while he stopped the car in front of the court and turned around to face James. The brunette shrugged and wanted to open the door but Logan reached out to grab his wrist._

_"You can come to my place after it."_

_James looked at him with a sad expression but nodded absently. Logan looked at him and lifted his hand to place it on James' cheek. The brunette stared at Logan confused when the smart one leaned over and pressed his lips gently onto James'. The sweet kiss took James by surprised because in the last month Logan was never sweet to him. Most of his kisses were rough, open mouthed and sloppy._

_But now Logan was kissing him slowly with so much passion that James' cheeks flushed with heat._

_When Logan leaned back, James was panting heavily, not knowing what he should think of this but Logan just smiled at the shorter boy and told him that he was sure it will not be that bad. James just nodded and then got out of the car, still puzzled when he entered the court where he already could hear his parents' angry screams._

_When Logan drove home he got a text from Kendall, which was saying that this Friday, after the game, there would be a party at his house. He answered his friend right away that he will be there. He parked the Mustang and got out, strolling over to the house, which he entered._

_"Hello?" The smart one called into the empty house, already knowing that he was alone. He sighed and threw his school bag to the side before he walked into the kitchen to make himself something to eat._

_It was about an hour later and Logan was in the middle of his homework when the doorbell rang. He immediately sprinted to the door to open it, revealing a flustered James with tear-streaked cheeks. The sobbing boy looked up to Logan, who made space so James could come in._

_"What happened?" Logan asked when he closed the door and turned around to face the younger boy. James let out a strangled cry and Logan couldn't help but step forward and embrace the brunette._

_"I ran away…," James muffled into Logan's chest and slung his arms around the taller boy desperately. "They hate me!"_

_Logan closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of James' hair, which always smelled so nice and also was so soft. "You ran away from court?" He asked then calmly, patting the other boy's back in comfort._

_James nodded and sobbed again. "I stood up during an argument and then I ran out and slammed the door behind me. I waited for 20 fucking minutes outside it but no one came after me. They don't care like they won't even notice if I'm there or not."_

_James clung onto Logan, pressing his face into the other's chest and inhaling his musky scent._

_"Well then stay!"_

_"What?" The brunette looked up and Logan could see how the tears in his dark lashes glittered. James blinked as few times confused before he nuzzled his face against Logan' soft shirt._

_"Stay here, don't call them, and don't go home. They expect from you that you would go home straight away and not run to your boy… uhm… to a friend of yours, right?"_

_James nodded, not realizing Logan' hesitation, before he let go of the older boy. Logan crooked his head and smiled warmly at the flustered brunette. "Come on. Do you want to drink something? We can order pizza and watch a movie?" Logan said and held out his hand so James could take it, then he led the shorter boy into the kitchen._

_James smiled at the black-haired boy happily. "Yes… that sounds good."_

* * *

><p>When Logan woke up the next morning James had just returned from his two-hour working-out session and the snoring, which was coming from the bunk beneath Logan's showed that Carlos didn't join the pop star even though he talked yesterday about how he would go.<p>

"Morning!" James grinned while he rubbed his wet hair with a towel. "We arrived in Denver last night. There is a hotel room booked in my name, so if you and Carlos want to shower and stuff while I have sound check, you can do that! Oh… and I brought you some Starbucks for breakfast!"

"T-Thanks." Logan's voice was hoarse from the sleep and James stopped his movements to stare at the black-haired one for a moment. Logan looked up and met James' hazel eyes confused while the brunette stared at him like he never saw a human being before.

"W-Wha…," Logan couldn't finish because James made the two steps, which he needed to stand directly in front of Logan's bunk, and grabbed Logan's head to pull him forwards, so he could seal their lips together.

Logan squirmed uncomfortable, not expecting this reaction from James at all, but while he tried to fight it he began to lose his confidence and leaned into the kiss eventually. The black-haired one sighed deeply while he enjoyed James' soft lips on his own. The two men moved their lips in sync and when James licked along Logan's bottom lip the shorter man parted his lips, so James could slip his tongue in.

Logan reached up and let his fingers glide through James' soft hair and that was when he realized that the brunette betrayed himself at this very moment. But Logan took advantage of the situation and tugged at the brown locks while James discovered every inch of his mouth. The brunette sighed against Logan's lips and pulled him even closer without making him fall out of the bunk.

"James…," Logan mumbled against the brunette's lips aroused when James' hand folded back the blanket and grabbed Logan's thighs to pull him outside. Somehow they managed it and Logan glided out of his bunk, so he could warp his legs around James' waist. The brunette held the black-haired one tightly while he continued kissing him and Logan put his upper arms on James' shoulder while he continued running his fingers through the shiny hair.

It wasn't Logan's weight which made James stumble backwards, it was Logan, who scraped James' lower lip with his teeth, making James bump his back against the bunk bed on the opposite side of the bus. The space between the beds was small and the two of them finally ended up on the floor of the bus.

James turned them around so he could hover over Logan, who still had his legs wrapped around James' middle and when James began to kiss along Logan's jaw line something hit his head.

The brunette looked up confused and saw a tanned hand dangle in front of his face. When he followed the arm to his owner he saw Carlos, who was still sleeping in his bed, but turning around like crazy. The Latino tossed his arm around and James had to duck his head so Carlos wouldn't slap him across the face.

"Cockblocker...," The brunette mumbled frustrated while he looked down at Logan, whose glassy and half-lidded eyes looked up to him in anticipation.

James leaned down and gave Logan a sweet kiss, which the black-haired one immediately returned. "You know I can't do this!" James said and bit his lip when he ended the kiss again.

Logan stared up to the brunette and smiled. "Everyone deserves a break once in a while."

"That's the first time you are using my words."

"Let it go, James. Just for now!"

"I can't." James groaned and buried his face into Logan's neck. "_I want you so bad, Logan."_

"You can have me!" Logan said and reached up to cup James' cheeks. "Just for this moment!"

James grinned and leaned down to kiss Logan again before he stared to move his hips.

"I allow you one mistake." Logan said and pulled the brunette closer so he could kiss the amazing lips of his.

"Hoped so." James replied before he kissed Logan passionately.

* * *

><p><em>Logan bit his lips when he looked at James, who sat next to him and was watching the movie with interest. He shouldn't do this. He shouldn't have invited him to do that.<em>

_This was so couple-like._

_And they weren't a couple, they would never be one._

_But he couldn't let James go home now. Not to his assholes of parents, who didn't give a shit about their only son because Logan's parents aren't better. And he always could go to Kendall._

_James had no one._

_Except for Logan._

_The black-haired one sighed and when James moved closer to snuggle against his side he didn't know what to do. He was leading the brunette on enough. They had sex, yeah, but that's it. Until now Logan had avoided ever being too nice to James. But when he would comfort the shorter one tonight then it wouldn't be just about sex._

_Then Logan would care about James._

_"You know that one mistake is allowed!" James whispered suddenly while he leaned his head against Logan's shoulder and put his hand on the black-haired one's thigh._

_"What?" Logan asked breathless and became stiff._

_"You always are concentrating on not being too nice to me. And if you do then you make sure that you're extra rough when we have sex the next time. Relax, Logan. Everyone deserves a break once in a while. You can give in tonight and I won't ever mention it again or use it against you. I know what we are, okay?"_

_Logan relaxed at James' words and breathed in the needed air. "I don't know how to do it."_

_"Of course you know! Just try it!" James said and suddenly he was straddling a surprised Logan. "W-What are you doing" Logan asked and stared at James, who was starting to unbutton Logan's shirt. The brunette smirked and leaned down to kiss Logan's exposed collarbone. James' fingers wrapped around the fabric of Logan's shirt and slide it slowly down Logan's shoulders._

_Logan threw his head back, while James caressed his pale skin carefully. The brunette sucked until a hickey was left and he squeaked excitingly because it was his first. Logan chuckled and leaned forward to capture James' lips softly. Logan kissed the other boy sweetly and he felt a foreign feeling developing in his stomach._

_James sighed into the kiss and snaked his arms around Logan's neck to play with the black hair. "See, it's not that difficult!" James smiled warmly and leaned back to take in Logan's face. The black-haired one's cheeks were reddened and he smiled dumbly at James before he sighed._

_"You can be nice." James grinned and kissed Logan again sweetly. "I like it."_

_"Of course I can be nice." Logan replied and pulled James' lower lips slightly with his teeth. "I'm not that bad."_

_"Just horny!" James snickered and Logan slapped him playfully._

_"Don't be sassy, Diamond!" Logan laughed and gave the brunette a swift kiss._

_James chuckled and his hands roamed over Logan's body, taking advantage of the situation because Logan wouldn't let him do that at their other meetings. He never was allowed to pleasure Logan, well, if it wasn't in a sexual way. When Logan wanted a hand job or that James bit down at his shoulder, then James would do it but he never could hug Logan or explore his body like he craved to do._

_He was too emotional, like Logan would call it._

_And if he only had this one night, where Logan would let go and be nice to him, then James would take it. No matter how much it would hurt afterwards._

* * *

><p>James panted when Logan sucked on his neck, leaving a purple bruise behind. The two of them had successful moved themselves to the back lounge, after Carlos had hit James unintentionally another two times. Currently James was lying on the couch, while Logan was hovering over him, only wearing his pajama pants because James had discarded his shirt somewhere on the floor.<p>

The bus was moving again, bringing them to the stadium, where James was gonna perform tonight, but the slight humming wasn't heard by the two busy men. Logan kissed James roughly, while his hands were still in the brown locks, pulling at some strands carefully. He knew that it was one of James' secret turn ons.

Maybe it was just Logan, who turned James on, more than pulling his hair could ever turn him on but Logan would never believe that and when James moaned the black-haired one's name, Logan pushed it off.

James hated him and this situation meant nothing to him. He slipped for a moment and Logan let James use him, so James could kiss someone sweetly, could let him ghost his lips over someone's skin, could whisper sweet things into someone's ear.

It wasn't Logan, who James wanted. James wanted someone to love and Logan could pretend like he would be that one for James.

Like James did it for him in this one night, where Logan wanted to be nice to James. Tell him how beautiful he was and that he was worth every fight, that his parents are stupid to ignore and hurt him and that he could make him feel good again. He wanted to hold James in his arms and to kiss him sweetly.

He wanted to love him.

The difference between now and then was simple.

Now all James was looking for was affection from someone and Logan was willingly to give that to James, so James took it. Later he would be mean to Logan again. Nothing would change.

But that night then had changed everything for Logan. Logan didn't want to hold just someone. He didn't want to kiss just someone.

He wanted James.

Only James.

And the difference was now that James would still hate Logan after this. Logan didn't hate James, never would. Because this one night with James showed Logan that he wanted so much more from the brunette then sex. It wasn't just a night, where he slipped and which was forgotten now.

Because how could he forget the night, where he fell in love for the first time?


	10. CHAPTER 10

**Okay... there is not really much to say besides that I'm really sorry that updating takes so long! I hope you can forgive me ;D We will have some sex in this chapter... so be warned! But no flashbacks, so it's only a Dom!James chapter. Hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews and all the alters and favs. I'm really happy that you like this story so much.**

**Stay tuned ; )**

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><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 10: Only Yesterday Was The Time Of Our Lives<strong>

The concert was nice and Carlos was freaking out along with teenage girls, who were 10 years younger than the Latino, but Carlos didn't seem to care. Logan played with his laminated VIP pass and watched James perform.

The brunette was good and Logan saw why everyone loved him. James was brilliant, yet amazing, when he let go while he performed his songs on the stage.

"ISN'T HE AMAZING?" Carlos shouted halfway through the concert in Logan's ear and the smart one just nodded smiling, wishing his best friend would go back and fight with the other fans over the best place in the VIP lounge. James ended a song and Logan stared at the sweaty brunette, who still looked so amazing even he had wore himself out for an hour now. And there still was another hour to go.

The hazel eyes searched for Logan in the lounge and he winked when he was sure that he had Logan's full attention.

The black-haired man blushed and was glad that there was no way that James could have witnessed that. He was too far away and Logan stood too much in the darkness, right?

Logan's thoughts wandered back to their earlier making out session and his cheeks were tinting a darker red. He didn't know what to think about it. How far it would have gone if...

"DUDE! BY THE WAY, I'M SO SORRY THAT I COCKBLOCKED YOU TWO!" Carlos suddenly stood next to Logan and screamed over the loud music. Logan looked at his friend and cracked a tiny smile.

Should he thank or blame him?

"IT'S OKAY!"

"NO, REALLY I'M SORRY!"

"IT'S OKAY, CARLOS!" Logan shouted again and waved with his hand.

"ARE YOU SURE?"

"YES!" The smart one nodded his head.

"THAT'S A LITTLE FRUSTRATING, MAN! YOU KNOW?" Carlos looked at Logan and shrugged.

"KNOW WHAT?" Logan asked confused.

"THAT YOU WANT TO BANG JAMES AND STILL ARE SUCH A SISSY!" Carlos rolled his eyes.

"IT'S COMPLICATED!"

"BULLSHIT! YOU SHOULD FUCK HIM!"

"HE WOULDN'T WANT THAT!"

It was the moment in a concert, where the loud music changes to a soft melody, showing that James was about to sing a slow song and in this moment you should shut the fuck up and listen to the song. Mostly you hear then some single shouting, love declaration or baby wishes and only Carlos was able to shout the next words in this very moment, making all the people turn around to stare in the direction from where the voice was coming.

"THEN LET HIM FUCK YOU!"

It was quiet and Logan could hear a mother gasped at the Latino's words, fearing for her 12-year-old daughter's innocence.

Logan closed his eyes and breathed in. It could have been worse; Carlos could have said Ja...

"DID YOU UNDERSTAND ME? LET JAMES FUCK YOU!"

... James' name.

Great! At least now Logan wouldn't die because of the embarrassment. The fan girls would be way faster in massacring him mercilessly.

Carlos, who finally got it that he gained the attention of about 50,000 people, finally shut his mouth and blushed slightly. "Sorry!" He whispered with a thin voice and lowered his head in shame.

Logan sighed and looked up to meet James' eyes, which were still looking in Logan's direction. The brunette grinned amused while he finally started his song, bringing all the attention back to the stage.

"I... I need to go!" Logan breathed in and Carlos called after him but the black-haired one already left the stage, showing the huge security his VIP pass, so he would let him go backstage.

Normally he wasn't allowed here, even with the plastic card, which stated ALL-ACCESS. This was the hallway, which lead to James' dressing room and even with a VIP pass no one was allowed to come _this_ near James. You just would come here under the eyes of the tour manager, who guided the people through the place and showed them the stage before they would meet James in a different room, where they could take photos and stuff.

But Logan's intentions were different from the fans' ones. He wanted to be alone, think about what just happened out there. It wasn't such a big deal. No one actually would remember it! Who cares what they all were thinking about him?

"Damn it, Carlos!" Logan groaned and walked down the hallway, hoping to find a room, where he could hide until the concert was over. He walked by a room and stopped, making two steps back. It was a simple white door but there was a piece of paper taped on it, saying "DRESSING ROOM - JAMES DIAMOND".

Logan didn't even think about it, he just opened the door - glad it was unlocked - and stepped into the room. He closed the door behind him and looked around.

It actually was really nice. One huge, black leather couch was standing in one side of the room. Two fitting arm chairs stood left and right from the couch and in the middle was an expensive looking glass coffee table. On another side of the room was a long table with a huge, light framed mirror above it. A mini bar was next to it, also a huge TV. Large, black boxes were standing in the room and Logan knew that James stage outfits were in there.

The smart one walked over to the couch and laid down, facing the ceiling, which had by the way some fancy decorations. He covered his eyes with his hand and groaned again.

What was this? What were he and James having?

Was it really just hate? Did James really hate him with all his heart?

When they kissed earlier then there was something between them. It was always between them. Even when Logan tried to keep their relationship physical it was there. And now with James it was there two. They couldn't just have sex, it doesn't work.

_It never has._

So it also wouldn't work this time. Even if James tried it because Logan tried it, too. Hell, how he tried it back then. Convincing himself that he wouldn't give a fuck about James and his feelings. That he wouldn't hurt him with every time they slept together. That James didn't reach his heart.

Logan tried it. And he failed.

And James would fail as well. Logan knew it and he thought that James knew it, too. It wasn't something they could just avoid.

It doesn't work like that.

Logan sighed and closed his eyes, drifting off into a restless sleep, haunted by his past.

* * *

><p>James was running to his dressing room, his make-up artists on his heels. He had 3 minutes to change into his next outfit before he needed to get back on the stage because it took so long to rebuild it for his next song.<p>

When the brunette finally stood in front of the white door and opened it, he dashed into the room and to the black box, were his next outfit laid out already. The pop star pealed the sweaty shirt from his body and tossed it aside before he grabbed the white shirt and the leather jacket.

"Who's that?" He heard Rae, one of his make-up artists, who was currently fixing his messed up hair, say. James looked up while he pulled down the blue jeans. "What?" He asked confused and stepped now out of his pants before he grabbed the new black, tight ones.

"That?" Rae said and nodded to the other side of the room. James slid the pants on and while he buttoned and zipped them he looked over.

He smiled warmly when he saw Logan sleeping on the black couch. He was curled up into a ball, hugging himself, while his head rested on one of the armrests. He looked calm and satisfied, not so jumpy and nervous when he was awake and in the same room with James.

"He's not allowed in here!" That was Leah, his other make-up artist and she was about to walk over and wake Logan up, so she could tell him to leave this room immediately, but James called her back when he put one of his boots on.

"Let him sleep! He's allowed to be in here!"

"Are you sure? We know you love your fans but they're not allowed in your dressing room!"

"He's not a fan!" James chuckled and put his other boot on, and then he straighten his clothes and looked quickly in the mirror to check himself. One last quick glance to the watch.

"Who is it then?" Leah asked while he stepped out of the room. James looked at Logan's peaceful appearance and closed the door carefully and quietly. He walked back to the stage and stopped at the edge of it, waiting for his signal to enter it again.

He turned around to face the two women smiling. "He's my boyfriend!"

_Always was and always will be._

* * *

><p>Logan's sleep turned about to me more relaxing than he thought. He was sleeping well and he really needed to clear his mind. But he woke up slightly when someone gently shook him and he stirred around before his eyes fluttered open, blinking against the bright light.<p>

"Are you awake now or do you wait for the kiss, sleeping beauty?"

Logan knew it was James and he closed his eyes again, pretending to sleep. He didn't want to deal with him now but when he suddenly felt soft lips on his, his eyes shot open once more. James was kneeling next to the couch and he hovered above Logan, hands laying in the other's chest. The brunette had his eyes closed and was leaning into the kiss sighing.

Logan didn't know what he should do because James obviously knew that he was awake and just tried to fuck with him again. But then he finally parted his lips and that's when James pulled away laughing.

He sat back upright and leaned against the coffee table before he faced Logan. The smart one frowned and rubbed his eyes tired. "What do you want James?"

The brunette laughed again, before he ran a hand through his messy locks. It was obviously after the concert because the boxes weren't there anymore.

"Time to go! Carlos is a wreck, man. He didn't even dare to come here and wake you up himself, so I volunteered because I'm such an amazing person!"

Logan rolled his eyes at James' words but he sat up, too. The smart one groaned and buried his face in his palms. "Fuck!"

"You know, I don't get it! Everyone is treating Carlos like he's dumb or so... even this Dak guy-"

"Dak's an asshole!"

"I think Carlos is pretty smart!" James stated and stared at Logan firmly.

"So you did hear what he screamed!" Logan mumbled in his hands but he could hear James chuckle again.

"Everyone heard... but I think it anyway!"

"He is but sometimes fate is just stupid!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Carlos didn't have an easy life but look at him, he's like the sun itself. Dak treats him like shit and other stuff, but he never loses his smile. We are bad people, James. And we would deserve to be treated bad but not Carlos." Logan finally looked up, meeting the dark hazel eyes.

"Aren't we treated bad, Logan? What happened to your scholarship? Why did they kick you out of school?" James scooted forwards and looked Logan in the eye.

Logan laughed half-hearted. "Ha, that wasn't fate! That was just bad luck."

"Isn't luck another kind of fate? Was it fate that we met or just bad luck?" James crooked his head asking.

"I wouldn't say it was bad luck...," Logan cracked a little smile. "Just the wrong way to handle fate."

"So it was fate."

"No. I was asked to tutor you. I didn't randomly run into you while I was at the library."

"But the teacher asked you. It could have been somebody else." The brunette smiled gently.

"I was the smartest student in the school. There was _absolutely _nobody else, James." Logan rolled his eyes and James snickered at the black-haired one's words.

"So what are you saying?"

"That it was obvious that they asked the best student, which wasn't fate or luck. It was a fact." Logan shrugged.

"So you say that it was just a simple fact that you were attracted to me?" James grinned.

"Well... yeah. I was kinda horny, you know."

"But fate made much more out of it, right?" James came even closer and Logan had to lean back, not wanting the brunette so close to his face.

"What are your intentions here?" Logan stared back at James, who was grinning even more.

"I'm just curious because I want to be sure!"

"Sure about what?" The smart one started to become nervous. This could not end well.

"That what I will do next is neither fate nor luck. It's just a simple fact because I knew that you were here and Carlos only could ask me to come here and wake you up. I didn't run randomly into you... I was just horny, you know?" James leaned forwards again and suddenly grabbed with his hands the collar of Logan's shirt, pulling the other man forwards as well. Their lips were crashing together and James immediately pushed his tongue between Logan's lips.

The smart one was actually too shocked to move, so he just parted his lips and let James kiss him angry. The brunette hands roamed over Logan's body and finally snuck under his shirt to caress the soft and pale skin under it. His fingertips outlined the slight defined muscles before he unbuttoned Logan's jeans quickly.

"Ja...," Logan mumbled against James' lips when the brunette stopped kissing him for a moment to suck in air before he pressed his lips onto Logan's slight parted ones. James licked along Logan's lower lips and then he let his tongue glide into Logan's mouth again. The kiss was now sloppy and their teeth were clashing together.

Logan could feel James hand resting on his shoulder before he slowly slid them down over Logan's chest and to the buttons of his shirt. He started with the first ones, unbuttoned them before he pushed the fabric to the side so he could kiss the exposed skin.

James lowered his head and sucked on Logan's collarbone while Logan threw his head back groaning. The brunette's warm hands unbuttoned more buttons and soon glide the fabric of Logan's shirt over his shoulder. There were still a few buttons left and the rest of the shirt tangled somewhere around his arms and waist but he only could concentrate on James, who now reached his pectorals and started to encircle his left one. He scraped the hardening nub with his teeth before he started to suck and lick.

Then James started to lick over Logan's tattoo, outlining the petals of the dahlia before he moved over to his right side. The skillful fingers were working Logan's pants open but then the two heard how the door opened and James turned around to see that his manager stood in the room with his eyebrow raised.

"We have to go, James. The limo is waiting outside, it will bring you to the hotel."

"Alright!" James said and tried to get the hoarse tone out of his voice.

The manager nodded and left the room, leaving the door open. Logan stared at the door and then down at James, who started to dress the black-haired one again.

"We'll continue this in the hotel." James promised and got up on his knees, pulling Logan with him. He wrapped an arm around the other male and lead him outside the room, walking down the hallway while he nuzzled his face in Logan's hair.

"We staying at a hotel tonight?"

"Yeah...," James breathed and kissed Logan's temple sweetly. "I have another concert here tomorrow. So we stay at the hotel tonight where we all have a comfy bed instead of these bunks."

"Sounds nice." Logan mumbled and bumped against James while they walked outside the building. It felt like they were drunk and needed to hold onto each other to steady themselves.

James grinned and guided them through the night to a waiting car to open the door, so Logan could slide in. James slammed the car door shut and the moment the driver started to drive James' lips were back on Logan's. The black-haired one groaned when James slide one hand in his pants to grab his dick and stroke it slowly.

"You looking forward to it." James said and took Logan's earlobe between his teeth, sucking slightly.

Logan just moaned and wished that they would already be in the hotel because it would bring nothing to get undressed again just to get dressed again when the car arrived. So he just enjoyed James' mouth on his and his hand down his pants. The brunette eventually pulled his hand back, making Logan whimper in frustration.

"Soon, babe, soon." James whispered and then finally the car stopped and a blushing driver told them that they arrived at the hotel. James didn't hesitate and pulled Logan with him out of the car.

They nearly ran through the hotel lobby and to the elevators, ignoring the people they shoved out of their ways. If the sexual tension wouldn't be so much Logan would have giggled at their stupidity but he was too horny to think about something other than James.

They were alone in the elevator and as soon as the door closed Logan was pressed against the mirrored wall, James' tongue deep down his throat. The black-haired one groaned and fisted the brown locks tightly, grinding his hips against James, making him feel the prominent bulge in his pants.

"Logan...," James breathed and mouth at Logan's neck, biting down before he was about to rip Logan's shirt open again. "I can't...,"

The brunette reached out behind him and fumbled with the buttons and suddenly the elevator was stopping with a thud.

"What the hell?" Logan said and for one second his focus was not on James anymore, but the brunette was too busy to unbutton Logan's shirt to toss it away before he opened his pants as well.

"James... what?" Logan stuttered when his glance wandered back to James and saw how the pop star opened his belt, followed by his pants.

"I can't wait... so hot..." James said and soon he was pressing himself against Logan, rocking his hips forwards to create the fucking friction between them. Logan groaned and threw his head back. If they would crash down then he would at least die happy.

James went back where he was, encircling Logan's nibbles with his tongue, sucking at the nubs with a deep growl in his throat. His hands were on Logan's hips and because his pants were already open it wasn't a big deal to push them down to Logan's thighs.

"How do you want it?" James panted when he moved on, sliding his tongue over the tattooed skin until he reached Logan's collarbone, leaving bite marks behind.

"I... I... don't know..." Logan said panicked when he felt that James' hand found his way back to his erected cock and started to stroke it again.

"Then turn around." The brunette ordered and let go of Logan's member, so the black-haired one could turn around. Logan could hear the sound of fabric and guessed that James had pulled his own pants down now. He tried to move his hips back to meet James' front but the brunette just chuckled, clawing his fingers in Logan's side.

"Look at me, Logan." James said and Logan was confused at first but then he lifted his head and stared at his reflection in the mirror. Only now did he realize that the whole elevator was one big mirror. Except for the doors.

Oh, what the hell?

Logan's eyes darted around and he saw in one of the side mirrors the curve of James' ass perfectly. He swallowed and stared in the mirror, meeting James' eyes, who still stood behind him. The brunette was taller than him and Logan only reached him to the shoulders. He was more massive and with Logan standing in front of him was James still visible at all sides.

The brunette smirked and leaned forwards, his eyes looked straight forward in the mirror. He nipped at Logan's ear again and the black-haired one leaned back, throwing his head back to rest it against James' right shoulder, giving the brunette access to his neck.

They stared at each other through the mirror and Logan still tried to steal some glances of James, still wondering how he looked. He saw him shirtless and stuff but he never saw him fulyl naked. Like all of him.

At least not since they were out of high school.

But James still wore his shirt and only his pants were around his ankles but exactly that part was covered by Logan, who was standing in front of it. The black-haired one didn't realize that he frowned, only when James reached up to tap his puckered lips. The brunette smiled and kissed Logan's cheek.

"Get ready." James said and took three of his fingers in his mouth, sucking them until they were slippery wet. The amused hazel eyes stared at Logan all the time when he realized his hand and guided it down, sliding it over Logan's bare back and then his ass. Logan groaned when he felt James teasing his entrance. The brunette slid one finger in and Logan hissed in pain.

It was too long.

"Relax." James said and Logan rolled his eyes. "_I know_."

"Good." James hissed and added a second finger, shutting Logan's response up. The black-haired one knew that the brunette wanted the control and it made sense but still - _it fucking hurt_.

James worked him loose while he kissed his shoulder blades, staring at Logan's pleasured expression in the mirror. The hazel eyes looked up through the dark lashes and that alone made Logan nearly orgasm.

James spit then in his hand and it disappeared behind Logan while his other arm slid around his waist and then Logan felt the tip of James' cock brush against his hole. The black-haired one groaned and James wasn't even inside him.

"Fuck... _James_...," Logan screamed and he was glad that no one would hear them in here because Logan screamed at the top of his lungs when the brunette finally pushed beneath the tight ring of muscles inside him.

"God, Logan... so hot." James mumbled against Logan's shoulder and looked up again to see how Logan's face showed so much emotions. Pain and pleasure, fear and joy.

"Move, James, **move**!" The black-haired one demanded and tried to push his hips back, taking more of James in. The brunette groaned and snapped his hips forth, burying his dick deep inside of Logan, the tip rubbing against his prostate.

The already built up tension made it hard for Logan not to cum shortly after James started to pound into him from behind. He bit his lips and stared in the mirror, his breath hot, it the shiny surface fogged slightly. He saw how James started to sweat, the brown hair looking dark when it was wet and he also stared at the tanned hand on his pale skin which held his hips steady and moved him with James' movement.

Logan placed his hands flat on the mirror using it as resistance, so he could push his body back, meeting James behind him. Both men panted and the tiny space in the elevator started to heat up heavily. A thin layer of water was on the mirrors and air was thick, making breathing difficult.

"Fuck... Logan...," James moaned and snapped his hips forwards a last time before he came deep into Logan. The warmth made Logan go insane and he didn't realize how James pulled out of him immediately to turn him around and lean him against the cold mirror, just to go down on him and suck him off. Logan didn't need long to cum and as soon as the brunette swallowed all did he stand up again to look Logan in the eyes.

"That was... different...,"

"You happy now?" Logan panted and stared at James, who quickly pulled his pants up to zip them again. He didn't answer Logan and when the black-haired one pulled his pants up with a hiss and reached for his shirt James pressed a button again and suddenly the elevator was rising again.

"You feel better now?" Logan tried again and buttoned his shirt up, blinking suddenly.

No answer.

The doors opened with a ping and James stepped out of the elevator, Logan following. The brunette walked down the hallway until he stopped in front of a suite. He opened the door with a keycard and walked inside, ignoring Logan, who was close behind him and closed the door.

"You thought it would feel different, right? It should feel good! You want to feel good that you finally got what you wanted, that you were in control! But it actually sucks!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" James whirled around and took two steps until he stood in front of Logan, grabbing his shirt by the collar to yank him up. "How could you do that? How could you continue this when it hurt so much. How could you use me, Logan?" James stared Logan in the eyes before he blinked and let go of the black-haired one immediately.

Without another word James turned around and ran to the next bedroom to slam the doors shut behind him.

Logan stared at the closed door and then he heard another door open. Carlos peaked outside and Logan started to walk over. The Latino stepped back and let Logan come into the bedroom, which they obviously would share for the night. The door was closed and Carlos looked at Logan confused.

"What happened?"

Logan couldn't answer. Something stuck in his throat and he blinked again. He swallowed and whimpered and then he was in Carlos' arms, letting go of all the pain and crying into the other's shoulder.


	11. CHAPTER 11

**Yes... you're not dreaming! I updated, oh my god! Haha... I'm sorry that it took me so long! But I hope you can forgive me and that you will like it!**

**Let me know and enjoy :D**

* * *

><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 11: We Were Born And Raised In A Summer Haze<strong>

_Logan squirmed when he woke up the next morning and he groaned when he opened his eyes and was blinded by the bright light. He hated mornings, especially the one where he woke up with a huge headache._

_The smart one tried to turn around but somehow he couldn't move. Logan groaned again and blinked a few times until his eyes got used to the brightness. The black-haired one sighed and stared at the ceiling before he turned his head and stared at a sleeping James, who was tangled in his sheets and pressed close to his body, face nuzzled in his side._

_Logan reached up and ran his fingers through the soft brown locks, which made James sigh and snuggle up closer to Logan's side. One of James' arms was loosely draped around Logan's waist and Logan sighed again when he reached down to pull the sheets up to wrap them around James' naked body._

_Then he started to slowly run his palms up and down the brunette's back, caressing the cold skin lovingly._

_Logan's thoughts drifted back to last night and how he let go of all the anger and fear and how James loved his body with his kisses and touches and how this time the sex was slow and careful._

_He wouldn't call it making love though._

_And he also couldn't let it happen again. It was one time and James knew that. James himself told him that he would understand it and didn't expect him to be nice to him._

_To love him._

_Logan closed his eyes again and wanted to scream. No, it wasn't right. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't he just let James go? That boy deserved more than that. Someone, who could love him and make him happy. Someone, who didn't use him to get off._

_"Logan...,"_

_The hoarse voice made Logan open his eyes again and he turned his head to look at James, who was awake now and buried his head groaning in his side. Logan smiled and patted his head slightly before James looked up, sleepy hazel eyes staring at Logan sadly. "I'm sorry." James said then and he wanted to escape but Logan held him close, sighing and cursing himself._

_"It's okay." Logan said softly, telling himself that one day was allowed. Just one day._

_"But I know you don't like when I'm all clingy. And last night was... last night... was...," James drifted off and Logan ran his fingers through the brown locks absently while James clawed his fingers in Logan's other side._

_"I know." Logan said again. "I know, James. And I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want."_

_James was silent for a moment and Logan knew that he was thinking. The black-haired one was biting his lips and one part of him was hoping that James would take this chance to leave. This was the time where he could walk out on this and Logan wouldn't do anything. He would let him go because it was selfish to want to keep him._

_"It's okay." James said finally and then his lips brushed against Logan's skin and that did it for the smart one._

_Within a second James was on his back and his arms pinned above his head while Logan pressed him into the mattress with his whole body weight. The brown eyes stared desperately into the hazel eyes before he hissed frustrated. "Why? Why the fuck are you keeping up with this?"_

_James closed his eyes in pain. "Because you need me more than I need you, Logan."_

_Logan stared at him speechless._

_The brunette opened his eyes again and met Logan's look. "And I don't care."_

_Logan kissed James hard and the shorter boy returned the kiss the way Logan liked it. That was how it worked. But then James cupped Logan's cheeks and he tried to calm the other down. It made Logan even angrier and he grinded down hard on James but then he eventually stopped, like everything._

_James' lips were inches away and he was breathing hard but Logan couldn't move. He couldn't do this._

_It hurt._

_His chest hurt so much like someone had an iron grip on his heart. Breathing was hard and every time he sucked the needed air in it was like a sting. Like you would fall into ice water and your whole body arched. Like millions of needles, which pierced your skin merciless._

_Then James lifted his head and sealed their lips together and Logan couldn't help it. He dived into the kiss and kissed the brunette like he never had before. James gasped at Logan's sudden change but then did he except it instantly._

_Logan kissed him with passion._

_With love._

_And all the desperate feelings he couldn't express out loud._

_The kiss was rather short and when they broke apart James stared at Logan and the black-haired one knew that he would regret it. Knew that James would fall in love with him._

_And he also knew that he never could return that feeling._

_And as James could read it in his eyes the brunette looked away and swallowed, his hazel eyes started to tear and Logan leaned down to bury his face in the crook of James' neck. His hands caressed the brown hair again and he soon felt the tears on his own skin._

_The tears he had caused._

* * *

><p>Logan woke up dripping in sweat and he panted before he looked around in the dark bus confused. Only when he calmed down a little did he listen into the darkness and he soon heard Carlos' snoring from underneath his bunk and also the steady breathing of James.<p>

Logan hated nightmares. Especially the ones from his past.

"Bad dream?"

The black-haired one let out a surprised scream and his heart beat increased when he heard James' voice coming from nowhere.

"I'm... yeah... kind of...," He answered and blinked in the dark. Carlos continued sleeping while he now could see that James turned around in his bunk nervously.

"What was it about?" James seemed to settle finally and Logan knew that he stared up to him. "What it about me?"

Logan could hear the smirk and he huffed. "You wish."

"Come here."

"What?" Logan thought he didn't hear that right.

"I said come here." James said again and Logan knew this was a bad idea. A very bad idea but still, he folded his blanket back and swung his legs out of the bunk before he jumped down carefully.

Everything worked automatically.

James had lifted his blanket and nodded to Logan, who sighed but crawled into the bunk with James before the brunette put the blanket over both of them. A strong arm snacked around Logan's waist and pulled him closer to James' warm body.

"What was the dream about?" James whispered now and his breath streaked Logan's ear softly. The smart one closed his eyes and sighed.

"You remember the day you ran away from court? Where you stayed the night?" Logan finally said.

James didn't answer for a long time.

"That was your nightmare? How pathetic." The brunette finally choked out.

Logan just sighed.

"You avoided me. Why?" James asked again and his hand tightened around Logan' waist. "Why did you avoid me?" He sounded panicked.

Logan closed his eyes uncomfortably. Yes, he avoided James since the little elevator incident. He had cried the whole night in Carlos' arms and then he snuck out the next day before James could come out of his room. He had missed the concert again and hide away in the tour bus or wherever James wasn't. And when the show was over was he already in the tour bus and in his bunk, pretending to be asleep already. And Carlos didn't bother him and also made sure that James wouldn't. When they arrived at the next city it was the same. Logan stayed in the bus and as soon as James would come he was gone or "asleep." He just couldn't face him.

When Logan didn't answer James became nervous and he squirmed next to him, which wasn't that easy because the bunk was small, too small to actually fit two people in.

"I never avoided you."

James' words hit Logan hard and he sighed. Yes, James never avoided him when he hurt the brunette in the past. Doesn't matter how rough or mean he was to him, James always came back. He always showed up and kept up with whatever shit Logan did to him. He never ran away. He was always there.

"I... I... uhm... I...," Logan stuttered with a shivering voice before he scooted closer and buried his face in James' chest, tears streaming down his face. James was taken aback but he soon closed his arms around Logan and sighed, putting his head on top of Logan's and closing his eyes while he caressed the other's back.

"It was true then, right? You were the one who needed me more then I needed you." James softly said into the black hair while Logan's crying only increased. "And now, you're still the weaker one."

Logan grabbed the shirt, James was sleeping in, tightly and tugged at it desperately. James breathed in the other's scent and shut up for a moment. He sighed and now his other arm snuck around Logan to pull him closer. He held the shivering body tight while his hand went up to play with the short strands of back hair. With the other hand he tucked the blanket closer and then he finally closed his eyes. Logan had fallen asleep by now and he stopped squirming. Instead he slept peacefully in James' arms and the brunette held him close and hoped that he could at least provide a good night's sleep for the man, who he was so desperately in love with.

And it was also desperation, which made James come up with that plan of his. With the plan to be like Logan. To hurt and fuck him and make it look like he wouldn't give a shit. Because when Logan did that to him, James couldn't help but fall in love with him. He put up with all the crap because he felt drawn to Logan all the time.

So that is why he did the same stuff that Logan did to him. He was mean and demanding and hurtful and still Logan ran away. He avoided him, he feared him. Of course James feared Logan back then too, but the draw was so much stronger.

So he did everything that Logan did to him. And still.

Why did Logan not fall in love with him?

* * *

><p><em>"I'm cold." James whined from where he sat on the couch in the Mitchell's living room with Logan by his side they were watching TV. James just stayed the day with him because it wasn't like his parents cared.<em>

_They didn't call one time to check on him. To even asked where he was._

_Nothing. Nada._

_And James took that pretty hard and Logan pushed his feelings and worries away for a moment to help James get through this. This had nothing to do with their fucked up relationship. This was only about a boy, whose parents abandoned him and Logan couldn't let that go. He wanted to help James._

_So he let him stay, made him breakfast and even allowed a few kisses now and then._

_And now they were sitting on the couch, Logan trying to put some space between them but James was freezing. He was freezing the whole day. This morning in bed and then later as well, he even wore one of Logan's warm hoodies and sweats and thick socks and Logan had tucked him into a blanket before he turned the TV on._

_And James was still freezing._

_Ahhh... what the fuck?_

_Logan scooched over to embrace James and pull him back with him, so he was in his arms and his head was resting against his chest before he started to rub his back and arms to warm him up._

_James hummed and rubbed his cold cheek against Logan's shirt. The black-haired one sighed and petted James' hair with one hand while the brunette snuggled up closer against him._

_When James drifted off into a nap Logan felt his phone vibrate And he shifted a little to pull it out of his pocket. He checked the screen and saw that he received a text from Kendall._

**You on tonight?**

_Logan huffed and typed his answer in._

**Sure.**

_Seconds later Kendall replied._

**We meet at 3, game starts at 5 and party at 9.**

_Logan rolled his eyes._

**I know, idiot.**

_His phone vibrated after a few minutes again. Looks like Kendall took his time with his next message._

**Is Diamond with you?**

_Of course! Logan shifted a little, which wasn't that easy with James in his arms and without waking the brunette up but he managed it before he typed his answer._

**Like you care...**

_This time the answer came within seconds again._

**If he keeps you away from the game then yeah, I will care.**

_Logan rolled his eyes again at the blond._

**I will be there, don't piss your pants, Knight.**

_Kendall's reply came right away._

**You better be, Mitchell!**

_Logan sighed and checked the time. They had three hours left before he had to get ready for the game. Kendall was such a little shit sometimes._

_Logan settled into the couch and pulled the sleeping boy closer into his arms. He knew that with every kind gesture, with every affectionate look he pulled James deeper into this._

_That boy couldn't think clear anymore and he let Logan do everything to him. Somehow he didn't care and Logan decided that it was time to change that._

_The black-haired one stared down at the brunette and sighed before he leaned forward and kissed James' hair softly._

_It was for the best to let go._

_When James woke up from his nap he was alone and at first he thought that Logan left him but then he heard the shower and he breathed out again._

_Logan was probably getting ready for the game later. James blushed when he thought about the game after which their little encounter started. He in fact blushed all the time when he walked over the school's parking lot._

_The brunette snuggled back into the warm blanket and decided to wait until Logan was finished._

_The older one came down the stairs shortly after, holding his duffel bag in one hand before he put it down next to the door and walked into to living room to see that James was still wrapped into the blanket._

_"The team is meeting before the game again. Do you want to stay or should I drive you somewhere?"_

_Something had changed, James could hear it in Logan's voice but he couldn't quite put a finger on it._

_"Could you maybe drive me home?" James asked carefully and Logan only nodded before he walked into the kitchen to get something to drink._

_James sighed and got up to fold the blanket and to put it on the couch again before he put his shoes on and waited patiently for Logan._

_When Logan came and grabbed his bag he led James out of the house and to his car. He put the duffel bag in the trunk and then got in the car to first drive James home and then to the school to meet up with his teammates._

_Kendall didn't say anything to Logan, he was just pleased that he showed up after all._

_They won the game and like every time Kendall and Logan were on their high, happy and proud and forgotten was all the bad blood._ _The two boys and as well the hockey team were ready to celebrate and soon they and a lot of other people were partying at Kendall's house._

_Logan was ready to drown his misery in alcohol but somehow it didn't kick in. He stayed sober while Kendall and the rest got wasted at a forbidden level and it pissed the black-haired one off even more. Fuck it!_

_"Why the hateful face? You won the game, right?"_

_Logan raised his eyebrow at the foreign voice and he turned around to see that Spanish exchange student standing behind him, lopsided smile on his plumb lips. At first Logan frowned at the boy, hating it when someone got all smart on him because obviously no one was as smart as he was, so they shouldn't even try to lecture him. But then the smile became flirty and Logan was surprised at that._

_Really surprised._

_"I'm just pissed that I can't get drunk!" He replied and held out his red cup filled with vodka. "Uhm...?"_

_"Juan." The boy replied and Logan nodded, taking a sip from his cup._

_"Why do you want get drunk?" Juan asked again, stepping a little closer to Logan, who narrowed his eyes confused. He waved his hand around in the living room where they were standing. "Everyone else is."_

_"Which is good." Juan stepped a little closer and Logan peeked up._

_"Why is that good?" Logan asked smirking, taking another sip._

_"So no one pays attention."_

_"To what?" Logan said and he let the smaller boy step in front of him while he leaned his back against the wall behind him._

_"To everything... hmm... tell me, esto chico... is he your boyfriend?"_

_Logan hesitated but then he shook his head. "No, he's not. I'm... I'm just fucking him."_

_Juan grinned and stepped closer. "Good. But I wouldn't have cared even if he was."_

_Logan grinned at the other male and put his drink on the small table next to them. "Good to hear." He grabbed Juan by the hips and pulled him closer, the boy allowing it by grinding their hips together._

_Logan groaned and clawed his fingers hard into Juan's hips before he leaned down and captured his lips. The boy responded eagerly and let Logan slip his tongue into his mouth to deepen the kiss. It was sloppy and wet and Logan now felt the alcohol and how it made his head spin but he only grabbed tighter on Juan, rocking his hips against him and kissing him harder._

_He felt how the boy's hand snuck down and started to rub his crotch while he grinded against Logan suggestively and made sure that Logan wouldn't break the kiss by grabbing his hair violently._

_The smart one groaned into Juan's mouth and bit his lip while he opened his eyes and checked if someone paid attention to their making out session but everyone was too wasted to notice. Except for Kendall._

_Okay, maybe not everyone was drunk._

_The leaf-green eyes stared sober and unbelieving in Logan's direction but the black-haired one didn't really care. Not now._

_He eventually broke the kiss to breathe something into Juan's ear. The Latino nodded and took Logan's hand before he looked back at Kendall, who watched still speechless how both boys left his house._

* * *

><p>Logan tossed and turned around in the bunk because he slipped into a fitful sleep the second time in this night. He didn't wake up though and a painful groan slipped past his lips. He threw his head back into the pillow and groaned again before he was suddenly pulled into warmth.<p>

He relaxed immediately and woke up slightly but not enough to realize everything around him. He just felt the body that was pressed against him. He felt safe and loved and he sighed contently.

Poor Carlos, who had to put up with him.

He felt warm, soft lips against his forehead and Logan sighed again.

"Where are we?" He asked, voice full of sleep.

"In Minnesota." A whispering voice answered him softly and he felt the lips kissing his cheek.

Weird. Carlos' voice sounded weird.

"Kendall..." Logan mumbled more asleep then awake.

"Yes, we will meet Kendall soon." The voice said again and now Logan felt how fingers ran carefully through his hair.

"I... Juan... I shouldn't have..." Logan drifted back into sleep, humming at the comforting gestures and warmth, which lulled him into sleep.

"I know. James will forgive you."

Before Logan fell asleep he felt how he was kissed on the lips. It was just a light peck but the lips were soft and loving and it was all it took to send Logan back into a peaceful sleep.

Weird, Carlos never had kissed him on the lips.


	12. CHAPTER 12

**I want to say that the characters aren't mine and sadly I just use them to play my little game with them. The plot and the development of the characters are my creation and some of them will be OOC and some not. The rating will be M for mature and there will be slash - as in Jagan. **

**In the chapters there are time changes from the past to the present. Everything that happened in the past will be in **_Italics_**.**

**I also want to thank my beta Rhett9 for the help and for taking care of my mistakes :D**

* * *

><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 12: Bound By The Surprise of Our Glory Days<strong>

The next time Logan woke up he knew immediately where he was. James' bunk. Everything smelled like James. The blanket, the pillow... hell, even he did.

The black-haired one groaned and buried his face into the pillow just to sniff James' again. It was too strong Logan's head began to spin and the young man slumped back into the hard mattress. At least he was alone in the bed.

Logan didn't know how late it was or if he was also alone in the bus and for a second he didn't really care. He just laid there and was thinking about last night. He fell asleep in James' arm, right?

And it felt so good.

The black-haired one rubbed his face and groaned again. No, no, that was definitely not good!

"Damn it!" He mumbled and finally got out of the bunk and got himself ready.

He actually really was alone in the bus and when he looked outside he saw that they parked along with the other buses in front of the stadium.

And then he realized that they were in Minnesota. His hometown.

And he would meet Kendall again.

Logan made himself a cup of coffee and took a sip while he looked out in the snowy environment. Of course it snowed here. Why shouldn't it?

The black-haired one sighed and remembered how he and Kendall used to hit each other with snowballs on their way home. Didn't matter how old they were or who saw them, they just did it and had a blast.

And suddenly Logan was wondering when he had lost his best friend?

And why Kendall now was obviously more a friend for James than for him? When did they even start to become friends?

* * *

><p><em>*four years before*<em>

_James sighed and touched the board before he looked over the empty rink and then to the platform where he used to sit and watch the games for his school team._

_Where he sat to watch __**him**__._

_The brunette sighed and wanted to turn around when the door suddenly opened and someone was stepping inside the hall before banging the heavy door shut. James froze when he saw the blond man, who looked up now and noticed James, who stood in front of the boards._

_"Ohh... hello, didn't know we had a spectator." The man said and looked at his clipboard, which he held in his hands._

_James just stared at him with open mouth. "K-Kendall?"_

_The blond man stopped walking and looked up again, staring at James confused. "Uhm, yes?"_

_"Wow, I really didn't expect to see you here at all and then I'm so...," James rambled while Kendall was still confused about who this man was and from where they knew each other._

_"I'm sorry...," Kendall started interrupting James, who shut up and waited for the blond to continue. Then Kendall's eyes suddenly widened. "James? James Diamond? You are... oh my god. James...,"_

_The brunette blushed but stepped away from the board to walk over to Kendall until they faced each other. Kendall gave him an elevator look and was surprised to find that the brunette was as tall as he was._

_"You look different." Kendall stated and crooked his head while James smiled proudly._

_"Thanks, I guess."_

_"I thought you were in L.A.?" Kendall then asked again and still couldn't believe his eyes how much James had changed._

_"Yeah, I still am. Living there now, got myself a record deal recently and I'm just here to visit my mother before my first tour starts."_

_"Tour, huh?" Kendall grinned. "Look at you, always knew there was something in that head. Congrats, bud, seriously."_

_"Thanks, Kendall." James said and his eyes travelled back to the rink. "And you?"_

_"What me?"_

_"Are you... uhm... Are you a teacher now?"_

_Kendall laughed. "What? No... I'm just here because the Coach had a hip surgery and asked me to observe the freshman practice."_

_"Ohh... okay."_

_The blond was still grinning. "But I still play hockey if you meant that. Professional, by the way."_

_"Really?" James looked up surprised._

_Kendall nodded and pointed over to the benches before he started to walk, James following him interested. "Yeah, signed a contract with the Wilds."_

_Kendall put his clipboard and the bag, which he carried over his shoulder, on the bench before he checked his watch. Then he looked at James again. "Looks like we both did pretty well, huh?"_

_"Yeah... yeah, I guess...," James looked back at the ice surface. "Do you know what...?"_

_The brunette didn't have to finish his sentence for Kendall to know what he was asking. Or about _whom _he was talking about in the first place._

_"No." Kendall shook his head and sighed. "No, I have no idea. Last time he was still in Los Angeles and went to this medical school."_

_James just nodded and bit his lips, looking away from Kendall. Then he suddenly heard talking and turned around to watch the students enter the rink. They looked around and were surprised to find Kendall here instead of their coach but the blond told them that he was just a substitute and that they should go change now. When all of them disappeared in the locker rooms he rolled his eyes in James' direction. "They don't like me because my training is much harder than the Coach's one."_

_James shrugged. "Life's a bitch. Better they learn it now than later."_

_"Right...," Kendall looked at him with sad eyes but then he coughed and reached for his clipboard again. "Okay, then...,"_

_"Yeah, uhm... bye I guess." James smiled and turned around then but Kendall held him back._

_"Hey James... do you want to grab a drink or something? Talk a little?" The blond sounded more than desperate and James could understand why. He asked around if some of his old classmates were in town but all of them were busy or idiots and hr guessed that Kendall was alone, too._

_With Logan gone and all._

_The brunette smiled warmly. "Sure, meet you at 8 at the bar."_

_Kendall grinned. "Alright, see you, buddy."_

_"Yeah...," James drifted off but nodded before he left the ice rink._

* * *

><p>Logan looked out of the car window and wondered what the hell he was doing here. He was sitting next to Carlos in the car while James sat shotgun and told the taxi driver where he should drive. Tonight was no concert, so James had free time while his crew already prepared everything for his show tomorrow. They will be recording it for a live DVD and so they had to install cameras and all.<p>

After Logan woke up he was soon greeted by a cheerful Carlos, who already had a tour through the stadium and was excited to see Logan's and James' hometown.

And now they all were in a car and ready to meet Kendall.

The black-haired one sighed deeply and continued to stare outside.

He hadn't talked to Kendall in years. After he moved to L.A. they had, had plenty of contact, called each other almost every day and then it suddenly stopped. They had less time, sometimes bad timing and then they stopped calling completely.

Just like that. 16 years of friendship ended just like that.

"No turn right and then we are at the local ice rink."

Logan heard James' voice and then he swallowed. So much happened there. On the parking lot, in the locker rooms, on the ice. So many memories, good and bad ones and Logan just felt sick when he thought about them.

He wanted to go, wanted to go back to his life in Los Angeles. Without James or Kendall or anyone.

But now it was too late, he guessed.

"God, I swear... I will try to be nice to him but if he's stupid and arrogant then I will... I will... punch him, yeah... totally will punch him."

Logan turned his head to stare at Carlos, who rambled weird things while he bounced up and down in his seat.

"Who do you wanna punch?" Logan asked confused and got the Latino's attention.

"Kendall. You know I hate for beating the Kings." Carlos explained and pouted and Logan rolled his eyes annoyed before he muttered. "Unbelievable."

"We are here." James said then and the taxi stopped while Logan stared out of the window again. Yeah, they were indeed here.

The three of them got out of the car and then James paid the driver while Carlos looked around interested. "So this is where you grow up?" He turned to Logan, who just nodded. The smart one bit his lips while he looked around as well. He heard James sighed dramatically.

"Yeah... so many memories."

Logan heard the brunette say and he swallowed before he looked down and followed James, who already walked in the direction of the ice rink. Carlos walked behind James, looking back to check if Logan was coming too and the black-haired one just nodded again and followed the two other men.

"I know that Kendall skates here until he is fully recovered." James explained when he opened one of the doors and held it open for Carlos and Logan to enter the hall. Logan instantly spotted the person, who was skating on the ice.

When James let the heavy door shut the person stopped to turn around surprised. He looked at the little group and Logan swallowed again when he saw that Kendall smiled warmly at them. Logan wanted to smile as well but the blond's voice made him freeze in place.

"James? Oh my god... I didn't expect you this early, bud. You should have texted me then I would have been ready." Kendall said full of joy and started to skate over to them while Carlos and Logan stood behind the board, waiting for the blond to approach them.

"I didn't know that we would be here this early, sorry." The brunette grinned and Logan stared at James because it was the first true smile he saw from him.

Kendall laughed when he was there now and he leaned over to hug James tight while the brunette returned the hug with a slight chuckle.

What the fuck was going on here?

Logan stared at the two hugging men and something in his chest was shredding.

Then Carlos coughed and Kendall released James to look over at the Latino with a raised eyebrow. James giggled and pointed to Carlos. "Kendall, this is Carlos." The brunette introduced the shorter man.

"Hey, nice to mee..."

"I'm Logan's best friend." Carlos blurted out and Kendall stared at him confused. "Uhm... what?"

"I just wanted to say that, okay. I'm his best friend now and I don't care what memories you share and all... you won't get him back!" Carlos said firmly and crossed his arms in front of his chest. James and Kendall were just staring at him.

"Uhm... Carlos...," Logan said stepping forward to lay a hand on the Latino's shoulder.

Kendall's eyes travelled from Carlos to Logan and the green eyes widened while he looked at James questionable. The brunette just shrugged.

"Logan... hi." Kendall said carefully and slowly and looked at Logan again.

"Hi... h-how are you?" The black-haired one stuttered and his hand tightened on Carlos' shoulder.

"Could be better but I will be back on the ice soon." Kendall said casually and Logan just nodded. "Cool...,"

Logan stopped and felt like an idiot. James confirmed that because he was staring at him with a mixed expression. But there was definitely some pity in his eyes and Logan just sighed and looked down embarrassed.

"Well... this is awkward." James said now laughing and hit Kendall playfully on the shoulder. "Maybe you should get changed first." He nodded to the ice hockey gear, which Kendall was still wearing and the blond nodded before he got off the ice and walked over to the locker rooms, shouting that he will be right back.

"I don't like him." Carlos stated when Kendall had disappeared in the locker rooms.

James was just looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a little grin. "Sure."

"No, really... totally hate him, like I said." The Latino continued and that even made Logan roll his eyes.

"You don't even know him as a person. Only what you saw on TV." James grinned and that was when Logan snapped.

"But you know him or what?"

Carlos and James were both silent and looked at Logan confused, who stood there with his hands balled into a fist and staring at James with hurtful and angry eyes. The brown eyes were watering and he was shaking slightly while he continued to stare at James with his lips pressed in a tin line.

James stared at him and raised a hand but Logan stumbled backwards. "Don't fucking touch me!"

"Logan...," Carlos said slowly but Logan held his hand up to silence his friend. He shook his head and let out a sob.

"What the fuck is this, James? What are you doing? What is going on between you and Kendall?"

"Logan... I...," James said and stepped forwards but Logan stumbled back more, shaking his head wildly.

"What do you want from me?" Logan choked out desperately.

"I'm... please... Logan, calm down...," James said gently and even Carlos looked worried at Logan, who kept shaking his head absently.

"What do you want from me, James? You had everything, didn't you? You got to fuck me and you break my heart and now you show me what kind of a bad person I am for ignoring my friends. Too bad my parents already abandoned me; otherwise you could have told them that I'm gay, so they could have kicked me out of their lives all over again. Now what the fuck do you want, James? Do want to get Carlos on your side too, because honestly there is no need anymore - I already lost anybody, who I cared about!"

Hot tears were streaming down Logan's face and James just stared at him with wide eyes.

Kendall, who came back during Logan's yelling was standing behind James, duffle bag over his shoulder while he looked at his former best friend with a confused expression. And Carlos just looked at Logan with sad eyes and a little pout.

"So what? It's always about you? Because I slept with you_ one_ time, you're freaking out? I was kept up with you for _months_. I let you do _anything_ to me, I gave you everything _I had.__I fucking loved you, Logan._ And what did you do to me? What was I for you, Logan? Tell me, what the fuck was I for you back then?" James suddenly screamed and Kendall lunged forwards to grab James' arm tightly to hold the brunette back. Tears burned in the hazel eyes while he stared at Logan furiously.

"You... were... just there."

"So I'm just good enough for sex...," James said and his voice broke in the end. He just choked.

"I didn't mean...,"

"You know what, Logan? Just stay the hell away from me. I don't want to see nor hear anything from you. Leave me the fuck alone. That's what you should have done in the first place. You ruined my life, Logan." The brunette stared at the black-haired one with hurt eyes and Logan knew that James' words were true.

Yeah, his life was fucked up, too. But James hadn't anything to do with it. Logan did that all alone in the last eight years.

While on the other side, Logan was the cause why James was who he was now.

The black-haired one just nodded, tears still streaming down his face before he turned around and ran out of the ice rink with Carlos calling after him worried.

And then he had one of his weird flashbacks again but he couldn't concentrate on that because there was something else going on in his head. He still heard James' yelled words in his mind.

_I loved you, Logan_

Logan closed his eyes while he stormed over the parking lot, tears burning on his cheeks because of the cool air outside. Snowflakes whipped against his body while all Logan could do was cry.

So James didn't love him anymore.

* * *

><p><em>Logan knew that it was wrong what he did to James and so he was glad that he decided to end it with the brunette. The last night with Juan showed him that it was for the best. He would grow too attached to James when he was the only person in his life. And only sleeping with him would prove that. He led James on, that was what Logan understood now.<em>

_It was better for both of them._

_The black-haired one ran a hand through his hair and looked over the ice rink. He had sent James a text messages to meet him there because he wanted to talk to him._

_Just get it over with, Logan._

_It's for the best._

_Sadly Logan couldn't even believe himself while he thought that and he sighed frustrated until he heard the door open. He looked up and saw that James was coming in, school bag over his shoulder while he looked interested at Logan._

_"Hi." He said softly and smiled at the other boy._

_But Logan looked sternly at James, showing no feeling towards the brunette. He just nodded, not knowing if his voice might break._

_"What do you want that you texted me? Don't you have practice soon?"_

_Logan just nodded again._

_"Soo... what's up?" James asked cheery and Logan closed his eyes to take a deep breath._

_"This is over, James."_

_"Uhm... what?" The smaller boy asked confused while Logan ran a hand through his hair again. Then he waved his hands between the two of them. "This, James. This is over."_

_The brunette was still looking confused at Logan. "Well, you texted me. I can come back after practice if you want."_

_"No, you don't understand. We're over... not that there ever was a __**we**__. I won't call or text you ever again." Logan groaned._

_"What? No no... Logan, why?" James asked with wide and scary eyes. "Please, don't... what did I do?"_

_"Nothing. I just don't want... it's for the best. Trust me." Logan said he wanted to turn around to go but James grabbed his hand desperately._

_"No, please, Logan... tell me what I can do...,"_

_"There is nothing you can do, James. I'm just...," Logan swallowed. "I don't want you anymore."_

_James let go of Logan's hand and stared at him with hurtful eyes. Tears were threatening to come out and the brunette froze after Logan said those words. "No, you don't mean that." James shook his head but Logan sighed._

_"What did you believe, James? That I would ask you to become my boyfriend? That I would love you? I told you from the beginning that this was just about sex and nothing more. In fact I just want something new, so be a good boy and just get the fuck out of my life."_

_James stared at him and Logan had to turn around to close his eyes. It broke his heart to see James like that._

_"I HATE YOU, LOGAN!"_

_James' words were angry and heart-breaking and soon the door was falling shut while Logan continued to walk over to the locker room._

_Of course James would hate him. What did Logan expect?_

_That he would thank him for ending this?_

_"Well, he should." Logan said to himself and even he heard that this was nothing but a lie._

* * *

><p>James stared after Logan when he had left the ice rink and all he could do was stand there. He couldn't move, he couldn't talk. He just stood there and stared.<p>

"Logan! Please wait! Logan!" Carlos eventually chased after his friend but James still stood there, doing nothing.

Then he felt Kendall's hand on his shoulder. "Well, this went not well." James heard the blond say and he still couldn't do anything. He just looked at the door, where Logan left through.

Where Logan walked out of his life. For good, he guessed.

James knew that when he returned to his tour bus at the stadium that Carlos and Logan would be gone.

For good.

Only it didn't feel for good.

The brunette felt how strong arms turned him around and the next thing he knew he was crying in Kendall's shoulder while the blond rubbed his back in comfort.

"I can't believe you still have these strong feelings for him after all this years." Kendall mumbled quietly and James looked up with red eyes. "I don't love him."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Of course you don't. I'm a bit surprised that it took you eight years to make your move though."

"And what should I have done different, smartass?"

"Told him that you love him the moment you got him back." Kendall sighed and James sobbed harder.

"He broke up with me because he would rather fuck that stupid motherfucker Juan." James hissed and Kendall jerked. "Sorry." The brunette mumbled then.

"It's okay." Kendall sighed again. "But James, Logan broke it off with you because you two became too attached to each other. Yes, he fucked other people after you but you fought for him and eventually broke him, so he took you back. That was the moment you should have told him that you love him."

"Like he would have stopped wanting Juan then."

"Maybe, maybe not. I just know that you were something special to him, James."

"I _was_, right." James mumbled in Kendall's shoulder and the blond bit his lower lip.

It looked like everything that could have gone wrong... actually went wrong.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys ^^<strong>

**OMG, yes, I can't believe it either - I updated. WOO HOO :D**

**Well, I have a really good explanation, so don't hate me! I'm currently in New Jersey and waiting to go to my new home for the next year in New York, so yeah, was planning this the whole last months. But now I'm here and probably have a lot of time as soon as I settled down, so I will update sooner xD**

**But yeah, hope you liked this chapter. Some drama is going on and there will be definitely more later on but well, there also will be a happy end, so don't worry.**

**And Kendall's finally here... yay... and he's BFFs with James, haha. Poor Logie, I know... but he has still Carlos, so... it won't be that bad, I hope ; )  
><strong>

**Oh, did you see Carlos' new tattoo?**

**- Such a bad boy!**

**XD**


	13. CHAPTER 13

**I want to say that the characters aren't mine and sadly I just use them to play my little game with them. The plot and the development of the characters are my creation and some of them will be OOC and some not. The rating will be M for mature and there will be slash - as in Jagan. **

**In the chapters there are time changes from the past to the present. Everything that happened in the past will be in **_Italics_**.**

**I also want to thank my beta Rhett9 for the help and for taking care of my mistakes :D **

* * *

><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 13: Don't Forget Me, I Begged<strong>

_Logan slammed his fist against the wooden wall and ignored the pain in his hand, ignored the blood, which slowly dripped onto the floor, ignored the pain clutching his heart with a iron grip. Again he beated the wall and jerked this time because hell, his hand hurt!_

_The smart one carefully inspected his bruised up hand in the dim light of the single lamp and hissed when he saw the abused skin. It burned in the air now and definitely it was something he should clean. But he couldn't move, couldn't reach over for the first-aid box._

_He just sat there and hold his hand, staring into nothing._

_He didn't know how long he was in there nor what time it was. Did even someone notice that he was missing?_

_He had skipped practice right after he broke up with James. He just needed to get away and so Logan drove down to the lake, where he and Kendall spend a lot of time at. His father had a little shed here, for the fishing stuff. There was even a bed in case night fishing ended too late to drive back home. And there was a fridge with a small radio on top. A shelf with all the fishing equipment and Logan remembered how many nights he spend with Kendall here, talking and getting drunk, laughing and sometimes fighting but this place only held good memories._

_Logan went here with his grandpa when he was still alive and also with his Dad, when he wasn't busy. It had to been years since he spend a day with his parents. Not only his Dad, but also his Mom was never around and so Logan came down here when he was sad or frustrated or angry._

_This place just calmed him down, all the memories here made him smile._

_But he didn't want to smile at the moment, more like cry but he couldn't do that. He had to tell himself that it didn't affect him that much. It shouldn't affect him at all. He shouldn't sit here with his hand all bloody and hurt because he hit the wall over and over again._

_He shouldn't sit here and cry over James._

_A knock on the door made Logan look up in confusion. He sobbed slightly and rubbed his eyes dry with the back of his uninjured hand. Who could that be? No one except for Kendall knew this place._

_And when the door finally opened, Logan had already suspected that it was the blond who was coming in and indeed Kendall's dimpled smile appeared seconds later at the door. He nodded to Logan and sighed when he saw him sitting on the floor. His eyes widened in worry when he saw Logan's hand and he eagerly stepped in the shed and closed the door behind him before he sighed again. "Ohh... Logan."_

_"It should feel better, Kendall. But it doesn't. It hurts so fucking bad. It shouldn't hurt. Why does it hurt, Kendall? It should feel good. Why the fuck doesn't it feel good?" Logan's fist hit the wall again and Kendall crouched down in front of him and took the hand carefully in his own hands to inspect it properly._

_"I know it should but sometimes it just hurts, Logan. And you can't deny that James was... well... different...," Kendall sighed when he finished inspecting the black-haired one's hand. He reached over to open the first-aid box to take out a few balls of cotton wool and a bottle of disinfectant._

_Logan didn't say anything while he watched Kendall put some disinfectant on the cotton and began to carefully dab it over the bruises. The blond slowly cleaned Logan's hand before he reached in the box again and grabbed a roll of bandaging material. He put the cotton balls away and slowly began to bandage Logan's hand. Years of hockey and a lot of injuries had showed Kendall how to take care of such a bruise properly._

_"So what exactly happened?" The blond asked when he was finished and put the bandages and the other stuff away._

_"I just knew that it was too much, that he got to attached...," Logan started but when Kendall raised an eyebrow he groaned. "Okay... we both got attached. And then yesterday with Juan and just fuck... Kendall, I screwed up."_

_"No shit?" Kendall huffed and leaned back to rest against the door. Logan rolled his eyes at his friend._

_"You know what I meant."_

_"So what are you gonna do now?" Kendall asked, hands playing with the sleeves of his hoodie and he looked over at Logan, who just shrugged, sighing._

_"I don't know. Nothing, I guess."_

_"So, you're just going to let James go like that?"_

_Logan looked at Kendall with a mixed expression. "Why should I keep him?"_

_Kendall stared at his friend and just shook his head. "You know, Logan, that's your problem. You can't just keep him or own him and whatever and you also just can't throw or give him away. He's not a thing, dude. He's a person and he has the right to decide if he wants to stay with you or not. You just need to offer him the option."_

_"I don't own him..." Logan whispered absently and Kendall just huffed while he rolled his eyes. "Sure...,"_

_"What? I don't!" Logan said again._

_"Please, Logan. Look at that kid! He worships the ground you are walking on, you whistle and he runs like a puppy to you instantly. That boy left in the middle of a math test because you texted him that you want to fuck him in the gym. But of course, you don't own him."_

_"No Kendall, you don't understand. I might have when all this shit started, okay. Yes, I took advantage of him. Yes, I used him for sex and nothing else but in the end he is the one, who owns me."_

_"What?" Kendall stared at the smart one dumbly._

_"Yeah, you heard right... he owns me. I can't say no to him, I have to call him, I have to see him, hell, I even want to touch him. Luckily he as no idea what kind of power he has over me. If he would, then I would be totally screwed. And that's why we have to end this." Logan said frustrated and pulled his black hair angrily._

_"But why did you have to be so harsh?" Kendall asked again._

_"Because!" Logan began but stopped then to stare straight forward. Then he just shrugged._

_"Because I guess it was easier to be mean to him. I know he wants me to be his boyfriend, to love him and all shit but I just can't, Kendall. I can't and I won't and yes, I'm really sorry but that's all I have to say."_

_"So what?" Kendall was angry and Logan knew that but it was okay. He understood it._

_"You're just gonna find a new guy, one you can fuck and dump then?" Kendall continued._

_Logan shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I think I will stick with my old method, you know. Go out of town to find someone. James was the first from our school, maybe that was the problem. I never saw the others more than once a week and James was just there. He knew me from the beginning, maybe that's the wrong thing."_

_"And Juan?"_

_"Well that... it just kinda happened. I don't think I can risk it right now, you know."_

_Kendall bit his lower lip to not say anything mean to his friend because he should have known it. Logan was always like that and he had accepted it over the years. He never had a problem with him dumping random guys after he had slept with them. But with James it just did not feel right. Kendall felt like he should say something, like he should change Logan's mind. Like he should make him fight for James._

_Like James would actually be worth the fight._

_But Kendall didn't say anything like that. He just sat there with Logan and let him be deep in thoughts. He didn't suggest things nor did he try to solve them. It was Logan's decision and Kendall was determined that Logan would see his mistake himself. Maybe he would realize it with time._

_Because don't you say that you only see what is precious when it's already gone?_

_Maybe with James gone, Logan would realize that the brunette actually was the best that had ever happened to him._

* * *

><p>"Well, maybe, he didn't leave."<p>

"Please, do you hear yourself, Kendall? And we are speaking of Logan! He has enough reason to leave. I actually wouldn't blame him if he did." James sighed and ran a hand through his hair before he leaned back against the headrest of his seat.

"Well...," Kendall started but realized pretty soon that there was nothing he could say. The brunette was right.

When the taxi stopped in front of the stadium again, both men got out and while James paid the driver Kendall looked around for any sign of his former best friend. Logan wasn't there, but Carlos was.

The Latino's cheeks were red when he ran in their direction and he was panting when he finally stopped in front of James.

"Ja..ha..mes... Lo...ha...gan... is...ha... gone...," Carlos said and Kendall looked over to see how James' face was like stone, emotionless, but he still saw the fire in the hazel eyes. James was furious, hurt, too, but mostly furious that Logan actually ran away from him.

The brunette nodded and sighed, hand going up again to run through the brown locks.

Without a word, he walked past Carlos and toward his tour bus.

Kendall felt kind of bad for the Latino, so he reached out to pat his shoulder awkwardly. Carlos looked up to him with big, brown eyes, forgetting that he actually wanted to hate the blond.

"It's okay, just give him a moment." Kendall said and Carlos sighed before he nodded. "I'm sure he will make sure that you get home safe, even without Logan. He will pay for everything, dude."

"That's not the problem!" Carlos huffed and looked back at the tour bus with sad eyes. "I actually believed they would work it out."

"Ohh... trust me, they couldn't work it out in the last eight years... so give it a little more time than two weeks." Kendall answered and smiled before he pointed back to the taxi, which was still standing there.

"I know you don't like me, but care to grab a bite and fill me in with what I missed?"

Carlos stared at Kendall suspiciously but nodded then slowly. "Sure... why not."

Kendall smiled at then and stepped back, so Carlos could walk to the car and get in.

* * *

><p>"So... how did you and Logan meet?" Kendall asked as they walked into a diner after the taxi had dropped them off in front of it. He held the door open for Carlos, who looked around with a small smile before he walked over to a booth and sat down with Kendall across from him.<p>

"He applied for a job at my boyfriend's coffee shop. We started to work together and became really good friends. After a while he quit but we were tight, still are." Carlos explained and reached for the menu while Kendall waved a pretty brunette over to order.

She had a smile on his lips when Carlos looked up and he smiled back at her when she put her hands on the table and leaned forward in Kendall's direction. The Latino observed with wide eyes when she kissed Kendall quickly on the mouth.

"Did you get them?" She asked excited and Carlos looked between her and Kendall with blushing cheeks before he lowered his glance to the menu, not wanting to stare at them so openly.

"What if I do?" Kendall smirked and reached into his jacket to pull out two VIP-tickets for James' concert. Carlos glanced up and recognized the tickets before.

"Ohmygosh, James is the best!" The brunette girl squeaked and Kendall cringed.

"Hey... I'm the one, who gave you the tickets!" He pouted and held the tickets back when the girl lunged for them.

"Yeah, but James was the one, who gave them to you in the first place!"

"Just tell me what I want to hear!" The blond said, holding the tickets out of her reach.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Best. Brother. Evaaaa."

Kendall grinned and finally gave her the tickets, which she took and squeaked again before she dashed away. Kendall laughed quietly before he looked up and met Carlos' gaze.

"Ohh sorry. KATIE!" Kendall yelled and the girl made a 180 degree turn to come back to their table, slightly annoyed. "What?"

"My friend here wants to order something." Kendall said and gestured to Carlos, who smiled shyly.

"Sorry." He mumbled before he looked at the menu again. "I'll just get a vanilla milk shake, thanks."

"Sure." She smiled at him sweetly before she rushed away again.

"Sorry. That was my sister Katie. She already knows what I will order, that's why she was gone that fast." Kendall rolled his eyes and Carlos chuckled. "It's okay."

"So back to the main topic." Kendall placed his arms on the silver table and leaned forwards. "What do you think about the two trouble love birds?"

Carlos just sighed.

"I think they kind of love each other."

"Yeah." Kendall sighed, too. "Yeah, they do."

"Was it really always like that?" Carlos asked and leaned forward as well, placing his crossed arms on the table in front of him. "Did they never have a moment, where they... I don't know... could have realized that it was love?"

"Ohhh sure, they had a few and I always thought 'That's it! That should make them realize what they have.', but no, they never did." Kendall ran a hand through his short blond hair. "You know after Logan broke up with James, he had some flings with other guys, but they were never someone from our school again. He went out to neighbor towns and hooked up there with random guys. He also kept it a one time thing. But there was this one time, I think it was pretty much one month before we graduated. I knew that James was still watching Logan from afar, hoping that he would change his mind. He was desperate and he would have taken Logan back in an instant. Even if the reason would have been that Logan couldn't find someone to fuck. James let Logan use him and he didn't care because he was so deeply in love with him... is deeply in love with him, I guess. Anyway, it happened at one of our last hockey games. There was this guy in the other team, who kept on going after Logan, jacking him into the wall and saying something to him. He was obviously flirting and Logan responded to him. I can remember it because I knew that James has come to every game since it started with him and Logan. He was there every game, even after Logan had dumped him. He was there and he was watching Logan like he was the greatest thing on earth. I felt sick watching him and I was jealous. I mean, how could Logan treat him like that? I mean, he was my best friend after all and he is a great person but I never understood how he would be such an asshole to James. Well, anyway... after the game we all celebrated because school was over soon and yeah. I saw Logan talking to that guy from the other game and soon the two of them were leaving."

Kendall stopped and looked at Carlos, who was listening to every word the blond said with interest, eyes wide.

"And then?" He asked carefully.

Kendall sighed, hand going up to tug frustratedly at the blond strands, green eyes sad. "And that was when the real drama was going down."

* * *

><p><em>Kendall watched how Logan and the brunette guy from the other hockey team left the party and he sighed, clenching the red paper cup in his hand tightly. "Idiot." He mumbled silently.<em>

_"Kendall?"_

_The blond turned around surprised when he heard his name and raised his eyebrow when he saw no one else than James Diamond himself standing there. The brunette looked uncomfortable, kneading his hands while he was pushed around by other people, who tried to walk by him._

_Kendall nodded over to a corner and James followed him, glad that he could move away from all the drunken students._

_"What are you doing here?" Kendall asked and looked the brunette in the eye, finding the hazel eyes glassy and the pupil widened. He looked down at the cup in James' hand and reached out to grab it. James let go of the drink immediately and watched how Kendall dumped the content into a plant, which was standing next to him._

_"Did you get it yourself?" Kendall asked and James swallowed, shaking his head._

_"No... some guy gave it to me."_

_Kendall sighed. "Don't take anything from anybody. They put drugs or pills in almost everything. Only drink what you got by yourself."_

_James bit his lower lip and nodded. "Okay."_

_"So what are you doing here?" Kendall asked again and leaned forwards, so he could understand James over the loud music better._

_"Do you know where Logan is?"_

_Kendall sighed again, giving the shorter brunette a pitiful look. "He already left."_

_"Ohh...,"_

_James' eyes turned sad and he bit his lip again, this time from holding back tears. Kendall put an arm over the brunette's shoulder and guided him out of the house and through all the other people._

_"Look, James." He began when they were outside and the music was only a loud bass coming from inside the house. The night was cold and Kendall could see his breath. He walked James away from the house before he stopped under a streetlight. "Look, I know that you like Logan a lot and I'm sorry how he treats you, but he clearly can't give you what you want from him, so just let it go, James. We all will graduate in a month and then we will be gone. Just spare yourself the heartbreak and move on, okay?"_

_James looked at him with teary eyes but nodded before he just turned around and walked down the street. Kendall sighed and pushed his hair out of his eyes, watching the brunette walking away. He wished he could do something for that boy._

* * *

><p><em>Logan panted when he grabbed the brown hair and pressed the other's male face closer to his neck. He groaned when he felt a tongue licking over his heated skin and then teeth biting down teasingly. Lips kissed along his jawline and he could feel himself harden in his pants.<em>

_"F-fuck." He breathed when he felt the hands on his groin, rubbing him through his jeans._

_"I always thought you are pretty hot." The boy smirked and the blue eyes sparkled before he put his lips back to Logan's neck and sucked hard._

_Logan's back arched in pleasure and he felt how the other boy eagerly unbuttoned his shirt and slide it down his arms before he could toss it away._

_Then the doorbell rang._

_Logan looked up while the brunette, who hovered over him kept continuing giving him hickeys. "Sean, stop." Logan whispered and pushed the other boy slightly back. Sean stopped and looked at Logan confused, who got up from the couch and walked to his front door._

_"Logan, come on...," Sean whispered and grabbed Logan's hand, trying to pull him back but Logan shook his head and Sean let go._

_The black-haired one walked over to his front door and reached for the door knob, turning it slightly before he opened the door._

_There was James standing in front of him, tears streamed down his face, glasses fogged while his eyes were red and glassy. His breathing was hitched and his arms slung around his body to keep him warm._

_"James...," Logan choked and extended his hand to touch the younger boy but stopped when he felt arms going around his waist. Sean pressed himself against Logan's back and rested his chin on top of Logan's shoulder, smirking down at James._

_"What does four-eyes want here?" Sean laughed over his joke while Logan remained silent._

_James was shaking. "L-logan...,"_

_"I think it is better if you leave now...," Logan stated coldly and stepped away from Sean._

_"Haha... yeah, because we were kind of busy...," Sean grinned but Logan just stared at him._

_"Sean." Logan ended. At that moment the brunette just look at him confused._

_"It is better if you leave now, Sean." Logan repeated and pointed out to the night._

_"Fine." Sean hissed, obviously pissed that he was the one, who got kicked out. He stormed out of the house, making sure to check James along the way. The brunette stumbled back, staring after Sean, who left without a second glance._

_Logan looked after the boy before his glance wandered back to James, who looked at Logan with sad eyes. He tried to smile but the coldness of the night made it nearly impossible._

_"Come on." Logan nodded inside and stepped back to let James in. The brunette walked into the house he already spent so many hours in and closed the front door behind him. He looked at Logan, body still shaking._

_Logan sighed and opened his arms, allowing James to step into his embrace before he started to rub the other's back slowly, making sure he would get warm. James leaned against Logan's warm chest and slowly breathed in the familiar scent._

_He was just happy that Logan had let him in._

* * *

><p><strong>Hey!<strong>

**So, how's it going? :D**

**I don't really have to say something, so I just hope you all like the new chapter. I mean, NEW CHAPTER! Yaay... things are so not getting to a point in my opinion, right?**

**But well, there is one thing I need to say. The flashbacks will end pretty soon and then there is only the present and I finally can go on with today's Jagan. But we all have to know first what happened between them in the first place. So expect more flashbacks in the next chapters until they are done.**

**It shouldn't really take that long anymore to finish it because that's what I actually want to do. Finish it and move on to my other stories.**

**But well, doesn't matter now ;D  
><strong>

**Show me some love and leave a review!**


	14. CHAPTER 14

**I want to say that the characters aren't mine and sadly I just use them to play my little game with them. The plot and the development of the characters are my creation and some of them will be OOC and some not. The rating will be M for mature and there will be slash - as in Jagan.**

**In the chapters there are time changes from the past to the present. Everything that happened in the past will be in **_Italics_**.**

**I also want to thank my beta Rhett9 for the help and for taking care of my mistakes :D**

* * *

><p><em>I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."<em>

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 14: I Remember You Said Sometimes It Lasts In Love<strong>

_Logan's breath was hot against James' neck. The smaller brunette squirmed when he was pressed harder against the dining table and felt Logan's erection the same time in his back. He moved, creating this wonderful friction and he groaned, craning his neck to rest it against Logan's shoulder. His neck was exposed and Logan took that opportunity to scrape his teeth along James' pulse line, tongue darting out to lick along as well. As soon as Sean had left and James was warm, he attacked Logan right away. And the smart one had allowed it; even though he knew it was the biggest mistake he could ever make._

_A moan escaped James' parted lips and he rutted back and forth slightly, the hard wooden table pressing against his hard-on and Logan's bulge rubbing against his ass._

_James reached up and buried his fingers in the black, soft hair, tugging the strands just slightly and guiding Logan's mouth further down. He felt the smart one's hand resting against his hips and how his fingertips dug into his skin. Both boys were already shirtless and James felt Logan's flustered skin against his back but his attention was drawn more south when Logan placed his palms flat on James' stomach and slowly moved them down. His thumbs scraped over James' hip bones and then Logan slowly moved his hand down James' V until they met in the middle._

_One hand dived beneath the waistband of James' jeans and the brunette had to lean back from the table and into Logan's body, so Logan could cup him through his boxers._

_James moaned again and when Logan's other hand started to unbuckle his belt, he couldn't help but grind against Logan's front, needy. The smart one panted against the abused skin on James' neck and as soon as he had the jeans opened and unzipped, he slide them and the boxers down James thighs. Logan leaned back and opened his own pants with shaking fingers before he pushed them down his legs and stepped out of them, leaving him with nothing on but socks._

_"Please..." James whispered and bit down on his chapped and red lips. His chest was rising and his breathing was loud._

_"Please what?" Logan breathed against James' skin, voice hoarse and raw while he licked over James' pulse point._

_"Please..." James whispered again as his ass goes back to rub against Logan' erection. The skin on skin friction made the brunette moan in pleasure and when Logan reached down and let his hand glide over James' ass to finally dipped a finger between the two cheeks, he found a already stretched and wet entrance._

_"What did you do, James?" Logan smirked when he pulled his hand back and placed it on James' stomach, pushing the smaller one into his body. "Did you touch yourself?" Logan continued and let his hips snap forward, the head of his dick rubbing James' entrance teasingly._

_The brunette arched his back and let out a high-pitched scream, pushing back eagerly._

_"Did you think about me when you fingered yourself?" Logan chuckled and let his teeth graze over the brunette's collarbone._

_"Please..." James begged again and reached back to take a hold on Logan's cock but the black-haired one slapped his hand away._

_"Please what?"_

_"P-please... f-fuck me." James begged desperately and squeezed his eyes shut, breathing hitching even more._

_Logan smiled and kissed the hot and flustered skin before he grabbed James' hips with one hand to keep him in place. With the other hand he wrapped it around his hard cock to guide it slowly toward James' awaiting entrance._

_"Yesyesyes...," James said and threw his head back against Logan's shoulder. His hands reached behind him to grab Logan's ass, so he could push the other male closer to him._

_Logan panted when the crown of his dick slid into James' hole. The tight heat engulfed him welcomingly and he moaned at the sensation. It was so hot and even though Logan and James had done this several times before, it felt different._

_"You are hot." Logan suddenly said and James just nodded._

_"Yesyes... fuck, Logan.. fuck me already!" James hissed and that's when Logan pulled back, cock sliding out of James again. The brunette whimpered at the loss, needing it so badly._

_"No, James. I mean you are hot." Logan said and turned the other boy around, looking into his face._

_The hazel eyes were glazed and sweat was running down his face. James panted and stared at Logan with dilated eyes, begging to continue. But Logan reached up and placed his palm against James' forehead, feeling that the brunette was burning up._

_"You have a fever." Logan stated and wanted to bend down to pick up his clothes but James grabbed his arms tight._

_"I want you to fuck me!" The brunette growled with a low voice._

_"You have a fever, James." Logan said sternly but James just shook his head and turned around, grabbing Logan's cock and guiding it back to his entrance._

_When Logan didn't move, James pushed back himself, sliding onto Logan's hard cock with a loud moan. "God, yes... feels so good...,"_

_The black-haired one stared at James in disbelief. The brunette was fucking himself on his dick while he started to sweat harder. Logan felt the heat and he was positive that this wasn't a good sign. This wasn't the heat that came from arousal and sex. This was different and Logan knew he had to get James to listen to him as soon as possible._

_"YESYESYES... LOGAN!" James screamed, ignoring the painful burning that the sliding in and sliding out of Logan's cock caused. He didn't feel that there was something wrong, that this was different._

_He just wanted to feel Logan, feel the burning all over again. James grabbed the table and his knuckles turned white when he grabbed it as hard as possible. He rocked back on Logan, the smart one meeting him with slow trusts._

_"James, I think...," Logan started but stopped when he saw stars in front of his eyes. He had hit James' sweet spot and the brunette clenched tight around him like he never had before and Logan's concern about James' fever were pushed back immediately._

_His hands grabbed James' waist hard and his fingers dug inside the hot skin firmly while he started to push forward, sliding in and out of James' tight hole while his breathing increased again and the arousal came back._

_"J-james, fuck," Logan said breathlessly before they fell silent again. Only the skin on skin slapping filled the room, mixed with their breathing and moans. Both of their bodies were sweaty._

_"Do...don't stop... I'm c-close... so close...Logan~," James chanted through his teeth, body rocking in rhythm with Logan's, whimpering when the black-haired one is hitting his prostate again and again._

_Logan snapped his hips forwards, keeping James trapped between him and the table while he rode his orgasm out, his movements dying down because of exhaustion. He felt the familiar sting in his stomach and the tingling sensation in his legs. His breathing became steady while he buried his face in the nape of James' neck, smelling the sweat and musk from the other male._

_"No, Logan... nonono...,"James ranted and Logan knew that the brunette hadn't come yet. He wanted to finish the job with his hand but as soon as he pulled out of James and wanted to turn him around, but the other one's legs started slackening and James's body sagged into Logan's arms._

_The smart one huffed in surprise as James' entire weight fell onto him, having to grab James tight around his waist to steady him._

_"James?" Logan croaked but the brunette didn't move nor gave Logan an answer._

_Logan turned his head to see that James had actually fainted._

* * *

><p><em>It was kind of a big act to bring the naked boy up the stairs and into his bedroom, considering that James didn't respond at all. With an exhausted huff, Logan placed James carefully on his bed before he made sure that he was lying correctly. Then he quickly walked to his bathroom to clean himself up before he threw on a pair of briefs. He grabbed the wet washcloth and returned to the bed to wipe James clean as well.<em>

_The brunette's body was feverishly hot and Logan made sure to clean him properly before he grabbed another pair of underwear and put it on James. He walked back into the bathroom and got a new washcloth, which he drenched in cold water._

_He brought the wet cloth back to James and started to carefully wipe off the sweat from his forehead. James groaned and threw his head around but remained passed out._

_Logan sighed and pulled the sheets up to cover James before he put the cold washcloth on his forehead and walked back to the bathroom to get some medicine in case James woke up. After that he ran down to gather their clothes together and also to get two glasses of water._

_Logan stopped and leaned against the kitchen counter while he drank two gulps of the cold water, trying to breathe in and out without hyperventilating. He didn't really know what had happened. One moment James was this mess of tears and the other moment he was horny as hell, practically forcing Logan to have sex with him. And now he was sick._

_Logan sighed and rubbed his face in frustration before he grabbed the glasses and the clothes and walked back upstairs._

_He threw the clothes in his hamper and put the glasses on the nightstand before he lifted the cover and slid into the bed with the brunette, arms going around the sleeping boy to pull him close to his body._

_James' breathing was steady and he was actually sleeping now but his temperature was still hot and Logan knew that he had to cool the washcloth soon again._

_He looked at James, watching the younger boy mumbled something in his sleep. Logan leaned forward and pressed his lips against James' forehead, kissing him slightly. Then he pulled the smaller body closer to him, resting his head on top of James and closed his eyes._

_Even though he couldn't say it out loud Logan knew that he loved this boy with all his heart._

* * *

><p><em>Kendall knew something was up when Logan didn't show up the next day. They wanted to meet at Kendall's house at 11am but even though Kendall waited an hour for his friend, Logan didn't come. And he also didn't answer his phone.<em>

_The blond was pissed and started to walk in the direction of Logan's house, determined to find out why Logan ditched him._

_Again._

_It wasn't like he wasn't used to it. Logan did what he wanted to do and Kendall was sure that he will also do it in the future. Just live the life he wants, running away from everything he's not ready to face._

_Like James.__That boy was an utter mystery to Kendall because honestly, he never thought that Logan would be so obsessed with him. James never stood out, even though he was loaded with money. He was just some nerd they picked on. He still is, insecure and obviously not strong enough to speak his mind._

_Kendall sighed as he arrived at his friend's house and walked straight to open the door. No one was in the first floor, Logan's parents gone like always and so, Kendall walked up to his friend's room, hoping he wouldn't have to witness something M rated.__He didn't even knock, simply walking straight into the room._

_It was almost like a funeral. Like someone had just died.__Logan was sitting on his bed, back against the backrest while he just stared straight forward with a blank stare. He didn't move when Kendall came into the room nor did he speak. He just sat there and stared._

_Kendal almost felt sorry for him. But in the end it was just pathetic._

_"Lemme guess...," Kendall said and walked over to Logan's desk, flopping down in his chair. "You dumped him again, he cried and insulted you and ran away. Now you feel guilty and confused, even though you should be relieved and possibly able to breathe again. But you can't and now you're pissed because he has such an effect on you and next time you see him you either yell at him, grab another dude and make out in front of James' eyes or you fuck him."_

_Logan's head turned and he stared at Kendall, eyes still blank._

_"Probably."_

_Kendall snorted. "More likely."_

_Logan remained quiet._

_"You know, I told him yesterday at the party to leave you alone...," Kendall began, drawing random figures in the air. Logan's head shot up and he stared at the blond with furious eyes. Kendall met his glare with surprise and stopped, not expecting that kind of reaction out of his friend._

_"Now why the hell would you do that?" Logan snapped._

_Kendall raised an eyebrow at the smart one. "Explain to me, why you don't want that?"_

_Logan didn't answer._

_"Dude, you actually want him to come back to you!" Kendall gasped and Logan looked down, shaking his head slowly. "I thought by telling him to back off I would be doing you a favor because he obviously didn't listen to you. But here you are, wanting so desperately that he will come back to you again. You didn't even fight him, right? I bet yesterday you didn't even tell him to get lost because you broke up or whatever the shit was going on between you two and which you had ended. You don't want it to end. Right, Logan?"_

_The black-haired one stared down at his hands, not saying anything. Kendall just sighed and ran his fingers through his locks._

_"Dude, if you want him back, then why don't you take him back?"_

_"I CAN'T, OKAY?!" Logan's voice was loud and Kendall jerked at the sudden explosion. His friend had tears burning in his eyes and his fists were clenched while he stared at the blond with angry eyes. "I can't take him back... I won't... this isn't supposed to work...,"_

_"But you want him, Logan. More than just for sex."_

_"It's not that easy, okay? Why do you think I kept my sexual orientation hidden? I can't come out here and for this relationship to work, I need to. And James, too. This town isn't made for such people, our school isn't... my parents aren't." Logan sunk back into his bed again, shoulders hanging and glancing back to his hands on his lap._

_"But wouldn't it be worth fighting for?" Kendall asked carefully. "I mean... do you love him?"__Logan sighed deeply. "I'm not sure...,"_

_Both boys were quiet for a moment before Logan sighed again and spoke quietly. "I just feel that after all I did to him, I don't deserve to love him. He can do better, Kendall. He won't stay in his town after graduation and wherever he goes he will find something or maybe someone else. Someone, who doesn't treat him like shit or hid him from the world. He told me once that he wants to go to Hollywood. What would I want there anyway? I can't even tell my friends and family who I really am, yet alone the whole world."_

_"I can tell you again. Maybe he's the one, who would be worth it… or maybe he's not. You have to ask yourself what the right answer is." Kendall got up and walked to Logan's door, planning to make them some coffee and then take Logan ice-skating and something else, anything that would take his thoughts off of James._

_Logan heard how the blond left his room and looked outside the window. He thought about Kendall's words and he knew that there was no need to think about what the right answer was._

_He already knew._

_But he sighed again and his eyes turned sad. "Either way I will stay away from him from now on." Logan whispered into the empty room._

* * *

><p><strong>Hi :D<strong>

**Okay, this is a short one but better something than nothing, right?!**

**Shit is going down, lol. Or not lol because I guess you all are upset and all. I dunno, not feeling the Jagan anymore, BUT this story is planned out... I have like 6 or 7 chapters left and then it's over! I know the ending (DUH!) and yeah, I hope you guys will like it. Not here to destroy some ships :D**

**You know... I dunno if I already said this before but James and Kendall were never supposed to be friends in the beginning. I wanted James to hate him as much as Logan but somehow James needed a friend. Poor baby :'(**

**Like Kendall is pretty smart-ass in this fic, like you could see in this chapter. But somehow he's the only one, who gets it XD**

**I'm sorry if their relationship brings hope to the Kames-shipper, who might read this. There won't be Kames! (My heart is breaking right now T.T but well...)**

**And yeah, I'm currently writing the next chapter, which actually will feature Kendall and Carlos again. They have a talk ;-)**

**So I hope you guys are still reading this and I'm really sorry that I can't update my stuff on a regular basis... I try, okay!**

**But yeah, leave me a review, cuz that would make my day :D**


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